LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 9022, 7 April 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

" Let me have audience for a word or two." — Shakspere. I have been reading in the London papers about how Lady Gordon and Lady Mackenzie have commenced business as milliners and dressmakers, and of various countesses who have had to go into trade to assist their husbands. And the best of it is, that these ladies, after they make the first plunge, seem to like it. It is gratifying even to their aristocratic instincts to be making money, and to be able to assist in the maintenance of their families from their own earnings, and relieved from being in a state of perpetual embarrassment, owing wages even to their own footmen. They find that there is nothing so very dreadful in working for a living after all, that it does not debar them from any happiness, but is in itself a source of happiness, and does not infer degradation in their own eyes, or in the eyes of others. Of course, all this is a sign of the times. It means that the days of the English aristocracy are numbered, that at no long time distant there will be no large class of landowners, with huge hereditary estates, & class whose only function in life is to draw rents and enjoy themselves.

But it was not to say that that I started this topic, but to make a practical suggestion. These ladies in London had to take to business and money-making because of the fall of rents, because Irish tenants will not pay any rent at all, and because crofters make raids upon the deer. Now, we hear amongst ourselves of men who have been speculating in land, or who have been unfortunate in business, having to live on a mere fraction of their former incomes. I am told that there are men in Auckland who formerly counted their wealth by thousands, who looked upon their position as being absolutely secured, and who to-day can scarcely meet their household bills. Shall it be said that colonial wives and daughters are less considerate than these noble ladies at home, who have attended royal drawing-rooms, and have entertained monarchy at their homes? Now is a favourable time for going into business. Rente in Queen-street are low. A man would be twice as proud of his wife if ehe put her hand to work and helped him over a time of depression. Who will set the example ?

A writer signing himself "Fairplay" in Monday's paper refers to what the Herald had said about the prize-fighting mania at present prevalent, and says that the same condemnation should be extended to the Admiral, and to all soldiers and to sailors of men-of-war. There is all the difference in the world. If " Fairplay " will only think of it deeply enough, he will see that so long as there is evil in the world, so long must there be war. "Oh," say some people, " let all national disputes be settled by arbitration. " But what is to be done if one of the parties will not listen to any proposal of the kind ? The greatest and most beneficial results of modern times have always been brought about by war. For instance, I have been reading Motley's account of the revolt of the Netherlands against Phillip of Spain. There was a powerful monarch bent upon extirpating Protestantism and establishing the Inquisition. What arbitration or reasoning would have been possible in that case ? Perhaps the grandest achievement of modern times has oeen the abolition of negro slavery in America. Could that have been done except through a war ? The next grandest was the liberation of Italy from, Austrian tyranny. Could that have been done except through a war !

In last week's column I committed an error in speaking of the cutting-down of the payment for compiling the burgess roll as applying to Auckland. It was done at Dunedin. Here a different system has prevailed. Mr. W. Gulliver, city valuer, craves audience for a word or two, and writes that the compilation of the burgess roll is piart of the duty required to be performed by himself, and is paid for in tho salary voted for compiling valuations, etc.

It is not often that at our races we have such a sensational dividend as was paid by Contractor in the Selling Race last Monday. In connection with this a good story is told of a well-known and jovial contractor, whom I will call Mr. A. Notwithstanding the horse's name, he did not fancy its chances at all. Aγ* was standing near the totalisator, when a friend, 8., came up, and said that he was just thinking of putting a few notes on Contractor, as he looked fit and well. " Don't do anything of the sort," remarked A.; "he has always been a failure, and never could win anything." The would-be layer put his money on something else. But immediately after this, and just before the race, A. saw a friend on whom he relied, who told him that Contractor wae all there, and was worth speculating a few notes upon. A., as is usual with him, was prompt in action. After the race, when B. was lamenting the loss of his money, what was his horror to see A. lifting a handsome dividend from his investment on Contractor!

Can it be that certain of the head teachers of our public schools make miserable the lives of some of the lady teachers who are under them? A correspondent avers that ib is bo. He points out that at the last meeting of the City Schools Committee two lady teachers prayed for leave owing to sickness. One of them got leave, but the other was refused. My correspondent prays the Education Board to inquire into the cause of the sickness of these ladies. The Board has now got a new chairman, who ought to see into all these things.

A working man makes a piteous appeal that pheasants should be sold at the butchers and poulterers' shops during the shooting season, so that the working classes may be able to obtain a delicacy in the event of sickness in their families. I must confess that this does not seem to me a very clamant want. Butchers' meat can be had for 2£d or 3d a pound, and properly cooked, it is as good for a eick man as a pheasant. This, I am thinking, is somewhat of aeentimental grievance.

A contemporary publishes the following : —"There were 100 cases of twine born in the city and suburbs of Sydney last year." Bless my heart! Cases of babies! How many were In each case? That is a point on which no information is vouchsafed. This ie something new. I used to be told about babies coming home to parents in cabbages, and to nave other stories of that kind instilled into me when I became too realistic and Zolaesoue in my inquiries. But that they should be born by the case has never before been attempted even in fiction invented for children. No wonder that Sydney is rapidly progressing in population, when the folks there will not be content with the good old plan, and must have the accessions to their population made wholesale by the case.

The mention made in the Herald the other day that no transactions had taken place under Mr. Balance's elaborate scheme embodied in the Administration Act, reminded me that that fact was bright out in a most evident way. Someone (I think it was Mr. Fisher, now Minister of Education) moved for a return of the transactions under the Act for the previous twelve months. By-and-bye, a nicely got-up paper was laid on the table, with a.covering sheet, bound with green silk, and on opening it the inquirer saw the word " Nil" stancfing all alone in the centre. The House determined that every year an account of the operations under the Act should he rendered to Parliament, and I feel sure that if the Act were maintained, the word "nil ' would represent the transactions for many

Newspaper duty—like constabulary duty —must Dβ done. The other night a Press representative, after hunting after a Cabinet Minister for the whole evening, at last run him to earth at the Club, only to find that ho had retired to his sanctum for the night —was in fact slinging on his robe de nuit — and an interview was not to be thought of. The pressman in a mild and suave way, intimated to the attendant that he was a fisher of Ministers as well as of men—that George I. was too old a pressman not to understand newspaper business—and that consequently there was little fear of "his getting his shirt out." Moved by these considerations the functionary collapsed, and ushered the pressman into the presence. The Minister certainly was in what may be regarded as "a transition state,' but smiling a virtuous smile, as became one " arrayed in white," he surrendered at discretion to the interviewer, who speedily accomplished his mission. One good turn deserves another, and the pressman gave the Minister "a, clean sheet" with the Recording Aneel.

There was a spelling bee the other evening at Mount Eden tor ladies and gentlemen. All the contestants passed out till there were only in it an old dame in spectacles and the "Tactician." One of the bystanders suggested as a floorer for the male contestant the word tactician, but the suggestion was regarded as too personal, and ignored. Ultimately the " Tactician " got floored on "ooze," and the spectacular triumph was a sight to witness.

The ghastly contrasts between the small economies of the Government and its extravagances are things " which no fellah can understand." At the Auckland police station the Government laid on the gas to the bottom storey; but owing to the tightness of the London money market they have never been able to carry it upstairs. The result has been that the inspector, non-commissioned officers, and constables, as well as private persons, having occasion to go upstairs of a night, have to grrope their way up the corkscrew arrangement in the dark, to the imminent danger of breaking their necks and letting the Government in for two guineas for a coroner's inquest. This sort of thing has been too much for the new Inspector, Mr. Broham; and, with a financial recklessness which augurs badly for the new regime, he has invested in a penny " dip," and a bedroom candlestick, which, placed at the end of the corridor, gives what Goethe sighed for, "More light!" It is not known whether the emergency has been met from contingencies, consolidated revenue, imprest supply, loan, or suspense account; but it is predicted that the Auditor-General will "jump upon him" at the end of the month. A Press representative, on hearing the prediction, agreed with it, his impression being that Fitzgerald would charge Broham with being concerned in a " wick-ed" transaction. His grey hairs did not save him, as a stalwart constable, with a strong Milesian accent, "carded" him over the hat-pegs in the top corridor, then fired him into Chancery Lane, where he finally picked himself up in considerable doubt as to whether he had been in a corn-crusher or through a threshing-machine, probably the latter. The marks ofgore on the bannisters bear silent but eloquent testimony to the fact that it is not healthy for a Press joker to fool about a police station. Mekcutio.