CALAMO CURRENTE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 8986, 25 February 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

CALAMO CURRENTE.

The coming is the Hessian fly. He has rsserte* himself in America; in the attitude n « conqueror he has landed on the coa* 8 of England ; and now in quest of other worlds to conquer he has crossed the line •*> the Anti P odes > ancl w0 are faco t0 f acJ with him in the colonies. Whether ho visited Southern Russia and India has >ot yet transpired ; but in the order of things, and as a matter of simple justice it ;? t<A>o hoped that he will be impartial in his attentions to the wheat-fields of the world. I say " hoped," for I have a word to jay for the Hessian fly, for he is not altogether an enemy, but on the contrary n5 one of nature's compensations, he may be a Messing in disguise come to correct some of the evils of civilisation and restore the disturbed social balance to a state of equilibrium.

For how is it now? The very bountifulness of Providence has been turned into a curse, and the prolificity of wheat has thrown thousands of farm-labourers out of employment. In the grand old times when flour was scarce, when they had not machinery and steam to force unnatural production of the riches of tho soil, pu r fathers used to hold harvest festivals and thanksgiving services for the fruits of the earth, and we who blindly follow the traditional customs of antiquity sometimes do the same. But we know that if Providence would graciously hold His hand, the price of a quarter of wheat would rise to a paying price, and England would become again a wheat field, and the wilderness and the solitary places of New Zealand would be triad with the merry hum of reapers. It is a terrible paradox that civilisation and progress have wrought to us, when tho overproduction of wheat has made thousands of hungry mouths to starve.

I t jj; in this peculiar juncture of affairs that the Hessian fly has come to the rescue, ami if he only succeed in raising the price of the quarter of wheat, there are thousands of would-be industrious families that will have reason to bless his bonny wings. It i* true, it would be all the better if we could direct his flight. See, there are the South Australians, that have fifteen million bushels of wheat this year for export, and they are glad. We should be f orry. Such is the demoralising effect of this competition, which is the central principle of progress as the conditions of social life go. If we could commission the Hessian fly to play havoc with the wheat fields of our neighbours in South Australia, what a comfort it would be. The price of the quarter would rise, and our farmers would thrive. Then let nobody say anything against the Hessian fly till we see the result of his proceedings, It he injures us he will benefit somebody else, and if he injures somebody else he will benefit us ; and in the aggregate who can tell whether in correcting the admitted ill-results of over-production, which is the cause of the general depression, he may not prove a benefactor of the human race.

The difficulties that lie in the way of retrenchment are many and varied, and more than the Auckland Harbour Board have been baffled in the effort to keep no more cats than catch mice. It would be interesting if the public knew all the reasons that govern the discrimination in the selection of those who are to go and those to stay. I do not knowwhere it occurred—in Wellington, I suppose—but the necessity for retrenchin? was imperative, and the chief suggest «d that so-and-so should be cashiered. '•Ah no, that cannot be; he is the brother of a Member of Parliament." '• Well, then, let this man be dispensed. vim." "No, 'no, that cannot be; he is married to a cousin of so-and-so." " ell, here is one that you can do without." " No, am sorry, but he is the protege of so-and--50." Well, this one ; can you not do without him?" No, he is the son of so-and-so." "Ah! confound it, then, some one must go. Can you not do without this one?" "Ah! hang it, no; not that one— he is the fellow that does all the work."

It is quite clear that the development of freedom of debate which is characteristic of modern times, and especially in the colonies, demands a reconsideration of the requisites for a proper discharge of public duties. That, appears to be felt more in New South Wales than any place else ; for there the even procedure of legislation, and the repose of members enjoying their siesta, are disturbed habitually to the discomfort of all by the settlement of personal disputes, which could be much more satisfactorily disposed of elsewhere. The other day, within the precincts of the House of Legislation in that colony, in the smoking-room, one member spoke of another's business concerns as a swindle ; and the other courteously replied that he was a liar. To the repetition of the charge of swindling, the retort was that the speaker was an adjective liar; to which the reply was a blow in the face, followed by a general rough-and-tumble light, to the disturbance of the equanimity of all beholders, and the rendering them unfit for doing the business of the country. And more recently, as appears by cablegramand this time it was on the floor of the House—one member made the gentle insinuation that another had been "blind drunk," to which the accused replied by seizing a water bottle with the evident intention of breaking the other's head. Now, it does argue little for the progressive character of the members of legislature, and their adaptibility to circumstances, that they have not made provision for this development of debate which appears to have become chronic in Sydney legislation, and they should not be deterred by false shame or by anything that others might say of them, from fitting up an apartment to which members might retire for the adjustment of their relations whenever these in any way become disturbed. It may be a matter of taste, but I am sure it would be far more becoming and orderly, for a member to invite his friend to "come outside" than to fling a water bottle at him. To the place of assignation, all those of warm temperament who took delight in such pleasurable pastime might accompany the disputants, and while those of more sedate and sober nature could continue the work of legislation, the matter in dispute could be much more satisfactorily submitted to arbitrament according to the recognised principles of the P. R.

The capture at Sydney of the mysterious burglar who was not seen but felt in Auckland, and as if invested with an invisible cap carried on his depredations in open day, and amid the crowds of unsuspecting citizens, suggests the applicability of an admirable scientific suggestion made some time ago to meet the case of such practitioners. The inventor has discovered or manufactured a peculiar and pungent Perfume, to which he gives the name °f " Kakodyle," of such singular tenathat once introduced into the human system it remains immovably lor > not merely months, but years. His Proposal was, that in the case of burglars & r »d others of irregular tendencies in relation to the goods of others, it should, when hey had served their terms of punishment, • e inserted into them by subcutaneous injection, The manifest advantage of such a r roc ® fiur e will suggest itself to the humblest' K Uect. Not only would it enable honest i fc n to discover danger on the passing toT n but the watch-dog could be taught deter at . P° r^ume in abhorrence, wmle in t| C »' VeS undergo a special training so t if cutivat i?.n of their olfactory nerves, had 'i? a ' ter fitting about where the man k!pn^ e " , a "^ ur o''ng» tliey might get on the i and hunt the depredator to his lair. . PollEX.