LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXIV, Issue 8082, 24 September 1887, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

i' Let me have audience for a word or two.' —Bhaktpen. I suppose there is nobody In the community who does not think Mrs. Mary Steadman Aldis a very objectionable person, and to have been the author of a good deal of social mischief. The readiness with which she sees vice and obscenity, the eagerness with which she pounces down upon it, and battens upon it, is a matter of as-* tonishment to all. For my part, I have always tried to avoid her, because' I do not like to have anything to do with people who have a natural tendency to let their minds dwell on pruriency, to see, not "good in everything," but evil. But I must say something to Mrs. Aldis this time for her good. The other week, apropos of the discussion on the Cass case, and of men introducing themselves to women in the streets, I said that the women were themselves a good deal to blame, and that men might naturally be led to suppose, from the regularity with which many ladies paraded Queen-Street, that they had no great objection to make the acquaintance of those whom they bad come to see and to be seen by. Thereupon Mrs. Aldis published as widely as possible the following : —" We have heard a good deal lately about the increase of juvenile depravity. What else can reasonably be expected when a leading paper like the Hhkald allows a contributor to encourage men to insult women in the streets, as was done by ' Mercutio ' last week. In a state of society which renders such an occurrence possible, is it not mere hypocrisy to punish women and children for their share in the prevailing depravity.—l am, &0., Mary Sxjsai'Man ALUS. September 15, 1877." On reading this, I could not help the impulse to adopt Cromwell's exclamation, when dismissing the Long Parliament. As the members passed him he addressed a few remarks to the more prominent. To one to whom he felt it difficult to put his idea in shape, he cried, " The Lord deliver me from Sir Harry Vane !" I say I adopted the exclamatiou, substituting for the name of the scolding, narrow - minded Puritan, the modern scolding, narrow-minded lady, whom I cannot make up my mind So call a Puritan. Mrs. Aldis is the very antithesis of all that is estimable and lovely in woman. She does uo good in the community, and never attempts to do any. She simply snarls and scolds, and sees evil in what to others is quite innooent. There are many charities in the city ; there are happily many women who devote themselves to good works. Mrs. Aldis gives nothing, and does nothing, but sits up at Mount Eden railing at the Coutagious Diseases Act, and pouring forth contempt upon the volunteers.

I am glad to see that Professor Posnett proposes to deliver a course of lectures on political economy. We are more in want of teaching in that direction than in Greek. He is, however, a little late. He ought to have come out sooner. For instance, Mr. Tole never had an idea on the subject of freetrade and protection till now, when he goes about declaring that " freetrade means tree starvation," using that as an election cry while his object is, and his endeavour was, to impose more taxation. If Dr. Posnett, besides teaching political economy, could teach a little truthfulness and honesty to political aspirants, what a blessing it would be !

This long drawn out political struggle must have been a costly business for some of the gentlemen concerned. Those who win will have made a big hole even in the double honorarium, while as for the losers, they will be apt to curse the day when they were led into beooming candidates. It would be an interesting thing to see all the aacounts of this election contest. I believe the totals differ very greatly for different men. It is said that the expenses of one candidate will amount to as much as £1000. This shows what an " Old Colonial Hand " will do when his blood Is up, and when he has once thrown his cup into the field.

It is the fashion to praise all recent changes in the law, but some of them I think very questionable. For instance, there is that matter which cropped up in. the Supreme Court the other day when the Evidence Further Amendment Act of 1885 was cited in order to prevent evidence being given of a statement made to a medical man. The Aot prescribes that the following communications shall be privileged:—" All confessions made to a minister of any religion or priest of any denomination whatsoever, in his professional character, in the course of discipline enjoined by the law or practice of ouch denomination, or under sanction thereof. All communications made to a physician or surgeon in his professional character by any of his patients, and the word ' communication' herein shall include all information acquired necessary to enable such physician to prescribe or such surgeon to do any aot for such patient." In that case, if a par* ticular statement could have been brought out, in all. probability it wonld hare enabled the truth to be got at, saved the oolony enormous expense, and many respectable jurymen much trouble, not to mention innocent men being oonvioted. Mr. Toll*, Minister of Justice, gushed over the Bill in the House ; but, of course, that was natural, as it sheltered the priests of his ohurch In the privilege they have always claimed. But I don't ace why the law ihould endeavour to screen criminals.

The blood-ourdling narratives that have been published of late of looal glove contests have embued the larrikins of the oity with a thirst for gore; in every vacant allotment of a night they are now settling their little difficulties according to the rules of modern scientific bruising, The other night some forty hoodlums were oongregated in thevaoant green opposite St. Jamea' Churob, in order that two youthful warriors might fight it out to a finish under the Marquis of Queensberry rules. Had Constable Bernard come along he would have made short work of the disciples of the Marquis of Queensberry.

There has now been a lull in fires for over a week, and the dull monotony of the night hu been almost unbroken by the clangour of the tirebells. Some attribute the change to the announced policy of reinstatement by the insurance companies; others to the publicity given to the faot that the detectives are now on duty all night, for human nature is pretty maoh the same now as it was in the Rev. Rowland Hill's time. He made the following announcement to a orowded audience at the opening of a new church:— " I am told there are several London swell pickpockets present. Remember that the eye of Almighty God is upon yon, bat if that is not sufficient, I may mention that there are several Scotland Yard detectives in the church 1" A third party attributes the a cessation of fires to a politioal cause. They say that the " incendiary rat" is so absorbed in the present general election that no further fires need be expeoted until after Monday next.

According to the advertisement in one of the evening journals on Saturday evening last, Mr. J, A. Connell was announced to address the electors of Eden in Mi. Gunn'c school, Point Chevalier ; to meet his committee of supporters in Waite'a Hall, Mount Eden ; also in the Public Hall, Mount Albert, "this evening, at half-past seven o'clock." Has " The Tactician " added Omnipresence to his other personal attribute!, cr has the " Old Colonial Hand " bad in reserve a pair of seven leagued boots ?

flow true it is "One half ths world does not know how the other half lives.'' The other evening I was going home in a Ponsonby tramcar, when my attention was arrested by a little fellow on the our, indifferently clad, with shfcrp, thin features, and prematurely old look, fsnilinr to those who have seen the . ohild-workers in the crowded cities of the old country. he was dead-beat with fatigne after his day's rambles as a muffin seller, and fell isleep on his seat; br.t as I learned he i »he ;.oket-inspector,

who takes a lively interest in him, where hi home was, I was able to stir him up at the right junction, and so prevent him being carried on to the depot stables. The following night I fell iu, under similar circumstances, with my little friend again ; and I was anxious to know his history, so getting into chat with him, bit by bit I got hi* story:— " I have been oat hero from England three years. There are five of us : A brother, older than myself; and three sisters, younger than I am, and going to schooL £ am twelve years of age (he looked scarcely ten), and have been going about Belling muffins and crumpets for eighteen months past. Carrying the basket about has stopped my growth; that makes me look so small, sir. Times are very bad; father, who was his own boss at home, can't get regular work at his trade hereonly odd jobs. Mother makes the muffins at home, sometimes nearly half-blinded with the heat, standing at the oven. You see, sir, we saves the baker's profit. 1 goes all over Auckland, and sells about ten bob's worth a day. Lor' bless you sir, mother couldn't do without me. I runs the show—the side show, I mean. Whereever there's a bob's worth to be sold I'm there. Sometimes Igo to the North Shore, i saw another muffin boy there. He ain't much account at selling, be ain't. I watched him ; went ap the street ringing a bloomin' bell, but never went to ths houses. Didn't sell a muffin. We played him out, and have got the Auckland trade in our hands. (I could not help smiling at his early introduction to the dootrine of the Survival of the Fittest, and the cut-throat competition of Modern Civilisation.) If people don't cpme to me I go to them. I knocked at the doors ; sold a bob's worth before £ got oat of the same street I You see, sir, the ladies want coaxing; I understands it. I always go for the missus. When servants come to the door they just looks to see who it is, and then gammons to go and ask the missus, but" don't oome back. I knows them. They don't understand business, they don't. Some of my customers are chance ones; others reg'lars. Now, there's the Bishop, he't a reg'lar. Igo out to Kemuera sometimes. Do well; you know, gents what's got 1 sugar' can't send a feller away without buying something. Now and then when I go out, they are so full up of tarts and pies and sich like stuff, at their blow « outs, they can't take muffins. They slips me a bob, and says, ' Johnny, stick to the muffins,' and of course, I cloars ! Oh, them Remuera gents are good to me. Some places I go, when they come to the door to see who's there, they slam it in my face. Bless you, I don't pay any attention to that. Been in a temper ; perhaps a bobbery with the ' old man.' I goes back in a day or two ; they're all right, and they takes a bob's worth. At some plaoes the missus is awful partickler. Kicks up a row at coming up the verandah steps, and boxes my ears. 1 reply, it's not my fault, mum. brightened to go to the back door for fear of the dog. I've been bitten by dogs. The dogs don't go for the muffins, but for my bloomin' legs. 1 go oat about eight o'clock in the morning with the basket and get back about eight at night. When I feel hungry, I eats a muffin I generally manage to sell out. Now, in bad weather you'd thluk I'd do badly. Just the other way funny, aint it? 'Cos why; the servant girls don't cars to go out for anything, and they go for the muffins when I comes round. My brother ain't so good at the business as me. He don't understand the coaxing. It takes us all oar time to rub along, I can tell you."

I could not help admiring the shrewdness and grit of this juvenile co-worker in the battle of life. For him I bespeak a kindly reception in future. Room for the little muffin-vendor 1

If a man wants to know hi* oharacter, he does not need at the present time to go to a phrenologist to feel his bumps and' write him out a chart. He has only got to atiand for Parliament, and his neighbours will tell him his character without any fee. The candidate will never know what an infernal scoundrel he is till lie get* nominated. Than probably he will be told that he has been guilty of kleptomania, is "a sanguinary perverter of the truth," with the mental oalibrn of an oyster, as the Hon. Mr. Larnach phrases it. The men who go through tht slush and slime of an election contest, as now conducted, to get into the Parliamentary Paradise, have well earned the honorariam.

The Jubilee Kindergarten Sohool may now be regarded as an established fact, And beyond the experimental stage. Those who hare taken it up and carried it through have not said to the little social waifs and strays who are being daily taught there, " Be yo warm, and be ye clothed," but they have daily fed them, and in many oases clothed theui. What better work can be done in any community than in saying the little ones, many of whom have drawn nothing from their mother's breasts but diluted gin, and who have in many oases the mikfortone to call by the name of mother or father the thief, the law-breaker, and the dissolute. Those in this city who are keeping watoh and ward over such little children, bora to that heritage of woe, seem to have laid to heart the injunction—

There, out in the wilds Of tho city, Out in the storms of sin. Go, seek them, and gather them er«ryon», And fetch Me the children in. In cellar and garret, In alley and court, They weep aaa th«y suffer and pine, And the wolrns of the city are prowling near— B&olc wolves, for the children are Mint 1 Men, bo ye pit fill 1 women, be kind I <J», follow wherever they roam Go, lay your hands on My little onsi, And bring Me the children home.

He squints. I will not mention hia name, but in Queen-street he is as well known as Garrard or the town clock. His squint is bis crowning characteristic. Walking along the other day, with bis usual impetuosity, he came in violent contact with a bushman, "Confound yon." he said ; " why don't you look where you're going?" The bushman stared him in the face. "And confound you," said he; "why don't you go where you're looking?'

A skilful horticulturist, who ought to be, and wheris, 1 believe, a good judge both of a tree and of a man, informs me of another scandalous job in connection with the village settlement scheme. He says that a man has been appointed to inspeot the fruit trees before they are sent np to the village settlers, and that he does cot know an apple tree from a pear tree or a peach tree from a plum tree. He gets £5 a week and travelling expenses, whereas a thoroughly competent man might have been got for half the money.

Tho Kindergarten is just now posing as an outraged Apostle of Christianity. " Tir money perish with thee," was a grand utterance in the mouth of the offended Peter, an i so the Kindergarten assures that Simon, of % Dramatio Club, that it has no part or lot in the matter. This ebullition of virtuous wrath is very becoming indeed to a obaritablo institution, until one begins tcr compare the details of the two incidents. Peter indignantly refused the profferred dross as soon as offered, but unfortunately the Kindergarten pockets the ooln already won, virtuously refusing to aooept any more coming from the came source, the prospect of which is hazy in the extreme.

And this the Kindergarten does on the score that, as a Christian institution, it cannot countenance dramatic representations. To say nothing of its consistency in thus repudiating the very mental principle on which its teaching is basedthe appealing to the intellect by mean* of attraot>ve and material objects—what shall we eay of its taking the proceeds of an entertainment which, as being a Christian institution, it condemns ? I should be glad to be shown a single passage in the code of Christian teaching which thus condemns the dramatic art. Indeed, the great Apostle St. Paul seems to have used it very forcibly on certain memorable occasionsnotably in the Temple of Diana at Ephesus, and on Mars Hill, in his famous aopeal to the novelty-seeking Athenians. Search the teachings from end to end, and whore will you find a single word condemnatory of amnaament of a proper character. " Foolish talking" certainly is condemned ; atd I would earnestly atk th* Kindergarten to take this to heart.

What ails us all that we will go On giving our money for that which ia not bread, and swallowing the doses of humbug when our eyes h»7e been opened to their real character ? Our papers have re-produced just lately the finding of the American Commission on Spiritualism, which is, that when scientifically investigated, under fair and honest conditions, not a single result has been obtained, and yet a professor of the " soience' comes amongst ns to expound the exploded '* ism," and will doubtless find followers. Mkrcotio,