CONTRADICTING THE BISHOP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXIV, Issue 8020, 6 August 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

CONTRADICTING THE BISHOP.

The bubo? of the dioacso recently held a confirmation service In a village church not a hundred miles from Oldham. The sight of a biahop bia lawn sleeves and gartered breeches, tho whole surmounted with a shovel hat, pretty much akin to that worn by the High Sheriffs javelin men, always attracts a motley crowd, and did ro in tLds particular instance. Among tho congregation was a wortny parishioner who happened to be in a most merry humour, which by no means can be called singular, sa he has always a pleasant euiile for everyone ho meats, nnd generally some quaint ntory to toll. But on thia particular evening, wo are told, he wag more than usually hilarious. Be that as it may, he determined to while away aa bsur in one of the comfortablo sittings in the church, and next to the great central figure in the ecclesi* astical mystery drama, ho waa far away the moat important man in the church, the whiterobed parsons running very bad third, fourth, and fifth places in the race. In the cour3o of his duties his lordship proceeded to address the young Christians, giving thorn excellent advice for tho guidance of thoir future lives, and particularly warning them against tho seductive wiles of tho world, the flosb, and tho devil. To the latter his lordship was mercilessly severo, denouncing him aa a liar and murderer, and we know not what elegant epithets besides. Seeing that his Satanic .Majesty in all that ciowded congregation had not one friend bold onough to stand up and apeak a good word for him, our friend took upon himself to undertake that forlorn hope. So, by way of a beginning, he shouted out, "That's bosh!' . The biahop ' heard the appalling contradiction, and bis lawn sleeves shook liko aspen leaves. Had he boon fired at ho could not have been more amazod. But with ram tact and excellent judgment ho proceeded in his denunciations of tho much villifiod evil one, only again to bo confronted by the appalling interruption that it was " All rot and noneense," and ono authority gravely assured tho writor that bin lordship was strongly urged to "shut up." By this timo the congregation were in aetateof unconcealed commotion, or rather emotion ; their necks wore craned in tho direction whence the unseemly sound proceeded. For a time the officials of the church wero at their wita' end what to do, as the object of their notico is a terrible fellow, and, it interfered with, might do harm to some of thorn. .Eventually the " diapenter" waa porsuadfid to leave the sacred edifice, and as ho strode up tho one utreot of the little village ho looked, as ono spectator remarked, "just for all the world hke a general marching victoriously from tho battlefield." O£ courso, the remark of the villager must be taken with so many grains of salt, for we don't suppose bo even saw a general marching under tho circumstances named.—Oldham Chronicle.