JOSH BILLINGS PHILOSOPHY

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7383, 18 July 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

JOSH BILLINGS PHILOSOPHY

GUESSES. I AM delighted to find in this world so menny things I kant prove; this satisfys me that there \z a power greater than I am, or ennyone else iz. It vi utterly impossible for an infidel to be a truly brave man or a fast friend. It may be possible for a man to be perfoktly happy, but not possible to remain so long. The poor have to pay for all they git; the ritch often ride for nothing. Who ever heard ov a pauper with a valuable pass in hiz pocket ? Talk iz cheap ; if it wasn't two-thirds ov tbo world would be bankrupts to-day. The grate art iu knowing how to make money iz to kno how to spend it. Science and tru religion kau not be separated ; they go hand-in-haud, and common sense points out the way. I don't karo how much krecd a man haz got provided he live up to it, and keeps it to himself, and lets other people alone. The harte may possibly subsist on musik, but the branes must hav sterner stuff. Life iz short, but it iz too long for most people. Apologys are risky things ennyhow ; haff the time they ain't called for, and haff the time they ain't true. Thare are plenty ov people who kan tell us exactly what kind ov a day it will be tomorrow who couldn't tell to save their lives what kind ov a man they are going to be themselfe. Put me down az one of the Radicals ; if I am right, I kan't be too radikal; if wrong, I kau't be too kouservative. The demands ov natur bring all to one common level; the prince and the pauper shiver and starve alike. Tru religion iz aggressive, but it iz aggressive against sin, not against other people's religion. Nothing iz more eazy than to git rich ; it requires f u brains, and no harte at all. Ho who livs upon hope will die in deepair; hope fattens upon itself. Thare are inenny things in the Bible I kan't understand, but thare aro bo menny butiful and impressive ones that I kan understand that I respekt those that I kan't. Thare are menny people bo gracious and thin-skinned they apologize for everything they do, whether it iz right or wrong. If it waz not for the lav of money, twothirds ov mankind would hav nothing else to luv.