CALAMO CURRENTS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7341, 30 May 1885, Page 1 (Supplement)

CALAMO CURRENTS.

Tub action of the Government in regard to the Soudan contingent has been, to say the least, perplexing. Its original torpidity amounted to a confession of either poverty or niggardliness, or else, if neither of these can be admitted, of total indifference. Its present magnificent outburst of generosity amounts to a recantation of its previous meanness, or elie to a piece of sublime impertinence. The Britain of the South was unwilling. to put forth a finger. to help the mother country while there was time to do so, and her bead was turned away all the time the hat went round; but, now that the outlook is clear, she brims over with munificence, and magnanimously incurs the travelling expenses of a delegate appointed to welcome back the troops of New. South Wales to Sydney. This resolve,'if taken in itself, would be laudable enough; but viewed in connection with our previous policy of non-intervention it is in somewhat doubtful taste. No doubt the gallant band of warriors who would have done such doughty deeds if they had had the chance, but who, as it is, return only with browner cheeks, less belief In martial glamour, a touch of dysentery, and hands whose only imbruing has been in the blood of goats, will be delighted to find the complacent ayes of New Zealand set patronisingly upon them in the person of Colonel Haultain. But perhaps there will be some among them who will ask why they should be patronised by a colony which steps in after the heat of the day to take some cheap credit by welcoming back "our boys." Their natural conclusion will be that New Zealand is on tiptoe with patriotic emotions when no demand is made upon its purse, and that at such times it is a closely related part of Australasia; but that, when the collection-plate is pausing by, it withdraws into ita insular seclusion and wraps itself up in its virtue and Vogelism. The question comes to this. We may be supposed to be interviewing the Colonial Treasurer:— Ounielvei: Why Is New Zealand sending )■', representative to this welcome? Sir J'olitu : Because it admires the behnrlour o' New Siuth Wales, and desire* to show its appreciation of thai country's generous action. Ourselves : And, if this action was so admirable, why did New Zealand refuse to imitate It ? Sir Julius : Ah 1 well 1 humph! I believe we are likely to nave a flue day after all, Have some f.tmeh ? By all means let us welcome back the gallant troops, but a complimentary telegram read to the disembarking warriors would have served the purpose, and have been more decidedly modest and proportionate to jur share in the credit of the transaction. The Melbourne Argus takes a high moral tone concerning the dishonesty of the Melbourne University Council in enticing away a Professor from Auckland without the formality of advertising High morality is everywhere a delightful spectacle, and especially when - displayed by those who are known to be consistent in its exercise. Without dwelling upon the question whether the Council or the Argus is the better judge of such a matter, one might be disposed to ask the Argus the precise principle upon which its objection is based. Is the manner in which that apparently volitionless being, a University Professor, is to be dealt with necessarily different from the manner in which any other occupant of a responsible position is to be treated; or do such illicit enticements differ in enormity according to the professional position of the enticed ? It •might, for instance, be a puzzler for the Argus to explain how it can be unjust to seek the services of a New Zealand University Professor without advertisement, and yet be perfectly just to suddenly lure away a useful sub-editor of a New Zealand newspaper to a more attractive post upon the staff of the Argus. - To ferret out by means of emissaries the most valuable members of a newspaper staff in another colony and carry them off in triumph, is obviously right, because the Argus has done it; to adopt the same course with Pressors is wrong, and contrary to jus gtnliiim, because the Argus has said it. Either of two conclusions may be drawn from these data, and "Auspex" gives it up to the public to decide : either to abduct a sub-editor and to abduct a Professor, under the same circumstances, are actions which have nothing in common ; or else what the Argus days is no criterion of what it does. r Mr. D. Goldie, city councillor, member of the Board cf Education and of the Licensing Bench, and general rectifier of excesse*, financial difficulties, and all other forms of backsliding indulged in by weaker vessels than himself, has for once "overleaped himself, and fallen on the other aide." While his namesake tracks out the vagrant dog, and scents afar the material nuisance, he ie smelling after the moral- nuisances, and tracking the worried official through our public bodies, all unconscious that the nuisance lies only in hU own inner consciousness, and that if he wishes to do some clearing, he ought to begin by clearing from his own mind the gratuitous and unseemly suspicions by which it is so distorted. To call things by their proper names, Mr. Goldie'a conduct is nothing less than what is known to schoolboys as bullying." The officials of a public body are not Mr. Goldie's servants, and be ought to remember the fact. They are the servants of the public, and will undoubtedly receive fair play from the public. When they receive a salary, they receive it because they have done a certain amount of work, and it isn't " in the bond" that they should display anlimited humility, and eat as much humble pie as Mr. Goldie thinks their position demands. When he says that he deals with the business of the Council as he would with his own, we scarcely accept the statement at par. If Mr. Goldie had in his own business an excellent foreman or olerk, who knew more than Mr. Goldie knows himself about his business, we may be quite sure that he would have more prudence than to rate him every time they met, and to publish in the newspapers that he was untrustworthy and incompetent. Besides, Mr. Goldie may be & fair judge as to whether a man in the timber trade is worthy of trust; but, in dealing with the old servants of a public body, the public are not quite so willing to acknowledge Mr. Goldie's unequalled sagacity. When an official becomes something more than a mere copying clerk he is unworthy of trust. Why? Because he does not wait for that express guidance in minutiae which is afforded by the light of genius of the Goldian kind. At the end of his letter Mr. Goldie is funny—" he is on the Conncil, and he mean* to stick there." We believe him ; but we do not believe that, as be is at present conducting himself, his services are worth so large a sum as 19s per annum.

Tbe retnrne of the Cjvil Service examinations as announced in the columns of this paper show the truth of what has been no frequently maintained, namely, that the district scholars from the primary schools are the crime de Iα crime of the secondary Bohools, and the intellectual marrow of onr whole eduoational syeterr,= Whenever any distinction i« obtained in the »cholastic sphere, it invariably transpires that the winner was once a district, scholar. This fact is in itself sufficient to prove that the expenditure incurred in the distribntion of these scholarships is to some extent repaid. But, on the other hand, the fact that so few of these gratifying returns are met with in proportion to the total number of scholarships so bestowed, shows that there has been a mistake somewhere. It is noticeable that these boys in Auckland who pass with so much credit in the comparatively easy Civil Service examinations, make no corresponding mark in the more difficult tests for the entrance scholarships of the University. There can be no doubt that the error has now been rectified by the Board of Education, provided the Board will adhere consistently to its late resolutions. Hitherto the district scholars have learned while in the eecondary schools enough to pass the Civil Service examinations, because in these examinations so much of success depends on & thorough grounding at the primary schools, —and this grounding the scholars have ; but, on the other hand, of these subjeots for the study of which they were especially eent to the secondary schools, they have not learned enough to secure a place among the successful competitors for University scholarships. Now that the Education Board has rearranged its scheme to as to ensure a euffit'ent amount of tuition in the higher subjects, the publio will naturally look for greater results from the secondary schools, and will expect to find an Auckland boy or girl occasionally obtaining the distinction of a University scholarship open to the whole colony. Many years have pasted, and some sixty iicholarshipe have been given, without ft ein.'le hnnnn* of the sort falling to anv

secondary ochool in Auckland; and, e* Accklandere claim to have their full share of natural taleat, the parents and guardians of the commuaity are beginning to want to know " why is this thusnexe."

Aa "Auspex" lately roamed abont observing men and things, and all the vanities that are beneath the sun, he lighted upon the Choral Hall, and, as the vulgar say, " happened into " it. And then he underwent a strange experience. Ue fell into a trance and dreamed a- "dream which wai not all a dream," although it was ''lull of contradictions." He felt himself carried away into an eastern Utopia, where the drosses, houses, coins, manufactures, manners and custom* were all jumbled up into an olla podriia of national characteristics. The gentle voice of an enchanting houri, apparently esoaped from the imprisonment of the zenan.i, told him he was iu a street in Cairo. But, familiar though he was with Cairo, "Auspex" recognised not the street, for that it was too broad and airy, and had no seventy atencheu and no quadrupedal donkeys, and for that the English 7isitors who roamed about were dreesed respectably and after the manner of civilisation, and not in their shabbiest, after the manner of "Cook's Tourists" on the Nile. And a female slave came nes»r and thrust into the hand of " Auspex" a fragrant cup distilled from Mocha's beat), and also a cake in a lordly dish, and he took thereof and was thaskfui; but while he smiled upon the dark-eyed maiden of the East and awaited until she ehould light his calumet or hand him his hookah, she threw him suddenly from the basis of his equanimity by demanding '■ Backsheesh" to the extent of one oolonial Robert; at the which he could but ejaculate full oft, "Alati Akbar!" And again he found a maiden, whose eclectic attire partook of all the bedizenments of the Parthians, Medea, and Elamites, and the dwellers about Mesopotamia, in the act of placing a lotus blossom in his button-hole ; and yet another quarter rupee came forth from his fast emptying pouch. And he dreamed that he was powerless to resist. And ever and anon, as he paused before some bazaar and gazed helplessly upon the resplendent piles of articles, useful and useless, gathered from Greenland's icy mountains to India's coral strand, there came maidens, each worthy to be, and waiting to be, a sultana, and pressed upon him things be did not want, and could not carry away if he did, but which he could not refuee by reason of the lustre of their eyes. And meanwhile the voice of the bulbul soothed his ear, and the strains of the harp, saclcbut, psaltery, and dulcimer lulled him insensibly into the most reckless extravagance. And he knew not what it meant, especially when he heard that curly-toed shoes and perfeot liberty of dress were allowed by the highpriest, but that he had prohibited the usual oriental continuations, because "it is not for women to wear the trews."

And the strangest part of the dream was that one came to him and enticed him to take part in a lottery, or as she expressed it in her own sweet Coptic tongue, •' a raffle." But a paternal State had decreed that lotteries, even if they be called raffles, are immoral, and " Auspex" would therefore have none of it. So, turning tb a venerable dervish who stood nigh at hand, he asked what meant this scene. And the ancient one replied that the proceeds went to the building of a mosque, with a conspicuous minaret. And when lie went on to say that a mosque waa a place of worship, "Auspex" perceived tbat be waa wrong, and cried, "Stay, beauteous Lalla Hookh, and let me rafrK For immoral though the means, yet the end Banctifieth them." And he left the hall murmuring, "How great a boon to be born in an age of reason and a Christian country, and pot in the benighted East, where men salve iiieir consciences so lightly."

The Rev. Mr. Beid has at length done what might have saved much space in these columns, if it bad been done earlier. tie now states definitely the terms of the resolutions passed by the Ministers' Association; and " Auspex " will begin by observing that these resolutions are eminently sensible, liberal, and creditable to those concerned, although they hardly strike him as being bo brilliantly original as to desei vo Mr. Reid's flowery mixture of metaphors to the effect that they " consume by their moral bright. ness every mean • spirited assailant, and challenge the homage of every humanely patriotic breast. " " Auspex " lacks the mental agility requisite to follow this grasshopper diction, but he has heard sermons, and therefore will endeavour to express hie poeition, and the progress and results of the discussion, in an orthodox manner. Firstly : Tha resolutions a3 they appeared were, as " Auepex" will manfully maintain, wrongheaded and foolish, and deserved the criticism they met with.' But, as they were really passed and ought to have appeared, they were the very contrary, and " Auspex " would have maintained as much, even' in opposition to Mr. Reid himself. Secondly : The resolutions being wrongly presented to the public, ought to have been corrected by some vigilant champion, say Mr. Reid. But not being so corrected, " Auepex " was justified in assuming them to be correot, and therefore in performing his function upon them. Thiidly : The criticisms of "Auepex" being founded upon an error, Mr. Reid should have written to the Herald, and corrected the error itself. But he preferred, through lack of judgment, and of a full sense of the proprieties, to abuse " Auspex" and the Hekacd from his pulpit. "Fourthly : " Auspex" thereupon left the discussion of the resolutions themselves, and the question was raised as to the logical basis of Mr. Reid's views on the respective rights of the Press and Pulpit. To this latter question Mr. Reid makes no answer, but bauls down his flag. He then, late in the day, comes out with the true Simon Puree in the shape of some excellent resolutions. And lastly: "Auepex" admits the resolutions to bsr admirable (and " oonsumiog " &c.), and regrets that the report was inaccurate— a fact for which he is as blameless as Mr. Reid himself. " Auspex " adds that he has the greatest personal regard for the reverend gentleman, and that he wishes to cause him no pain ; but that his opinion aa to the impropriety and lack of judgment displayed remains unshaken. Auspbx. I It is necessary for us to say that the resolutions were printed by us as furnished by the Secretary of the Ministers' Association. -Ed.]