LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7270, 7 March 1885, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let me have audience for a word or two." — Shakspcre. The "Chat with Mr. Froude" which appeared in the Herald was very interesting reading. The great historian is probably the moat distinguished man of letters who has ever visited New Zealand. As a profound thinker and brilliant writer he has few equals. Mr. Froude is also an admirable talker. He is exceedingly genial in his manner, and enjoys a good joke—whether his own or someone else's. Like his master —Carlyle—he is a smoker. Had Mr. Fronde entered Parliament he would have won political fame. At one time he contemplated such a step. He had the intention of standing for a Scotch University, but I believe the enormous cost of contesting one of these select seats frightened him out of it. There is a mystery about the cost of these elections. The expenses of contesting a Scotch University seat amount to between £3000 and £4000. sTet a rectorial election, in which the voters are the same, and in which precisely the same machinery is employed, can be fought and won for £15 ! Why, therefore, should the Parliamentary election cost so vastly more? Mr. Froude has endeavoured to discover the reason, but has not succeeded. Nor has anyone else. Is there anyone in Auckland who can solve the puzzle ?

Mr. S. Vaile has gone to the South, where he intends giving a series of lectures showing up the utterly hopeless condition of the railway management of the colony. Jt is rumoured that the Government declined to give Mr. Vaile a free pass over the railways, although it was known that he had hitherto borne all expenses in connection with the railway agitation, and that his scheme of reform was intended quite as much to increase the revenue from the railways as to popularise railway travel. It would have been a. graceful act on the part of the authorities to have accorded Mr. Vaile the pri»ilege, so that he could see the whole of the Southern lines, and understand thoroughly the conditions of traffic, and so, if the railway management is infallible, have " heaped coals of tire upon his head."

The refusal is the more remarkable when one remembers who have been the recipients of favours of the kind both by rail and steamboat. When the Australian bowlers came over to New Zealand for a trip—a coterie of wealthy men intent on personal pleasure only—there was no difficulty about their obtaining free passes over the railways. The other day the clergy attending the Wesleyan Conference received a similar favour, on what ground it would be hard to say, unless it was that a Freethought Ministry was of opinion that it would be well to propitiate the church, as some day it might need •'benefit of clergy." If I remember rightly, a Southern journal stated that a free pass on the railways was given to Mr. Gerald Massey, the poet, who has come here to lecture, scoop in the money, and depart again, and it wae seriously proposed to give one to R,em6nyi, the violinist, on the very sound ground that he had been but in one scrape in his life ! It was but the other day that a clergyman was being toted round in the Hinemoa for the benefit of his health, who belonged to one of the favoured denominations, while his more heretical comrades are left to pay their fares by the Union boats, if they desire a change of air. These are anomalies which the public notice, and freely comment about. It is not wise for the authorities to give the vox 2>o[iuU the opportunity of making those comparisons, which are odorous.

Among those who have volunteered in the Australian Contingent, for active service in the Soudan, are the Eons of some highly esteemed and respected Auckland citizens, who had gone to Australia for a change of air. Some of the would-be volunteers in Auckland for the Australian Contingent appear desirous oi enrolling from very mixed motives. Two of them were talking about the matter the other day in Queen-street, when one said to the other, "You know, Bill, when we get to Sydney we can make ourselves scarce ! " the presents given to the departing New South Wales Contingent was a large quantity of playing cards. If they are inclined to play euchre, there ie little doubt the Mahdi will be willing to oblige them, if not to bear a hand in the game.

Funny things sometimes occur, even in regard to the business of the City Council. A few days ago the Mayor and a number of Councillors went out to the Waterworks. They had a drag and, I think, four horses, and they were accompanied by the Town Clerk, the Inspector of Abattoirs, and the Waterworks Engineer. The object of the visit was to arrange for the laying off of 100 acres of the land lately purchased by the Council. When the Council assembled on the ground, they learned that they had bought the land subject to the rights of the occupant of the Northern Hotel, and that he was the occupant for somewhere about a year and a-half to come. ■ The members of the Council found that they had only thirty acres to deal with instead of more than a hundred. They had not been aware of the fact that the Council's purchase was so conditioned. It is said that some of the members were very indignant, and considered that " some one had blundered,

The two hours' traffic of our stage; The which if you with patient ea<s attend, What here shall miis, our toil shall strive to mend. Hast thon not, good reader, been struck with the Kindness of those in authority towards their underlings who have met with miefor*

tune, especially when striving to lift themselves up by honest means from the slough into which they have slipped ? Thou hast not? Can it be, then, that— I but tdk of dreams. Wbicb are the children of an idle braiil Begot of nothing but vain fantasy, Which is as thin of substance a3 the air, And more inconstant th n the wind. Alas ! it in too true, who looks for pity there, Wooes but the fiozen bosom of the North. Alas for consistency ! The very men who profess to be moat eager to prevent want and ruin, when they see one over whom fate has placed them with a brief authority, manfully struggling against the waters of advereity, they promptly pull the plank from nnder him. "It's a sorry world, my masters!" and one in which it never does to be down. A young man recently was wicked enough to be unfortunate in a business transaction, and tried in vain to extricate himself. In the nick of time he obtained employment under one of the public boards, and by frugality and economy was endeavouring to retrieve past losses and pay old debts. A relentless creditor pressing him, nothing remained but to take refuge under the Insolvent Act. A committee aits upon him, and he is shown to have been acting honestly, and living economically, and virtually acquitted him. '' Not so," say two heaven-sent "neighbours," " out of that he must come. Ojir employs must be, ' like Caesar's wife, above suspicion.' " Notwithstanding, therefore, his innocence of fraud and endeavour to retrieve his former misfortunes—notwithstanding his dependent wife and family—he must be dismissed. We hope not. Anyhow, if I'm in trouble, I'll depend upon the Samaritan, certainly not upon the orthodox philanthropist.

Have we another religion in our midst without knowing it? Is this the hidden meaning, now first, and even now involuntarily, made known, of those processions of staid and sober citizens who would never surely make themselves a gazing-stock unless there was something at stake ? Is there another faith to be added to the thousand and one sorts and conditious of religionism ? If so, what a funny faith it must be that embraces men alone. Mercutio always thought that woman was the more impressionable being, and therefore the more religious of the sexes. If this be not so, what is the meaning of the Freemasons wanting a separate cemetery ? Are those unfortunate Cowans, far beyond the capability of "eavesdropping," to be excluded from one part of "God's acre ?" Is there to be a Lodge of the Dead ? Mercutio was once told by a Freemason that he still had a belief that the body returned to mother earth. May not other ashes mingle with it even there, where the "outsider" will have penetrated alike with the Freemason that "Great Secret" which is more profound than any that the initiated is possessed of here, and will see a light brighter than that of " The Mystio Craft 1" But no ! this cannot be it, for the cemetery is asked for the families of Freemasons too. Surely, then, is is selfishness and pride, and that of the worst possible type. There is one great blessing, namely, that the request will not be granted ; whereby no Freemason can possibly suffer, for, if Freemasonry embrace the members of every religion, so, too, will the cemetery. There is, too, another blessing, and that a greater one, at all events to the Masonic body—at least if "Mercutio" has heard aright—that the request wis made without the knowledge of a number of the fraternity, amongst whom are some of those most competent to give an opinion in these matters. It may be interesting to my readers to know that by these, this projected exclusiveneas would have been resisted to the uttermost.

It is rumoured that when Parliament meets, some of the members have determined to bring certain newspapers to the bar, for the wholesale and indiscriminating accusations of drunkenness levelled at the members shortly atter the conclusion of last session. I like to be the witness of a row, when safe out of the chance of receiving a blow, and therefore I ncay remark that I hope members will be ill-advised enough to carry out their threat.

It i« well to be the editor of such a paper as the Herald, and not. a poor contributor only. One of the latter—" Mercutio" certainly—would never have suggested such an idea agi that recently put forward in a local paragraph in the Herald, that the postal authorities should issue specially-stamped envelopes for transmission of tradesmen's aocounta at a low rate—say, one pound a thousand. Why, no one would be safe from such missives ; a man needs to be clothed in triple brass, as it is, with a penny postage. Only the other day, in the Hamilton Resident Magistrate's Court, a certain party was brought up on a judgment debt summons, and hia creditor stated that he would not have resorted to this extreme but for the debtor telling him to go to certain warm, latitudes and get his money. But when the debtor was put in the box the truth came out. His importunate creditor had continually pestered him during the last two years for payment, and it was under the natural irritation caused by such persecution he had used the offensive language. Tbe hard-hearted Resident Magistrate ordered the debt to be paid, or a month's imprisonment; but what amount of this sort of aggravating conduct on the part of creditors might not be looked for if 1000 insulting letters could be sent )- : or £1 ?

A trip to the Soudan means something more than fighting the Mahdi and his followers, a fact which many who talk of volunteering do not realise. A shrewd old Waikato Major, who did good service during the war in Waikato, hit the nail on the head one day last week in Queen street, when asked, jocularly, was he going to volunteer to fight againat the Mahdi ? "Fight ? Aye, of course I will; bring the beggars here and I'll light 'em ! "

Touching the Soudan, here are some verses which Mr. Wills has sent me, and which have been set to music by Mr. J. H. Philpot :— Our hearts shall go out with ye Across t'ie billows deep, No craven heart to tremble, No gentle eye stiali woep ; But our ho irts go out with ye Far on the battle plain, And open arms shall greet ye When ye return again. Our hearts shall go out with ye Upon the battle plain. And open arms shall welcome Our brave ones home again. Go, bravo and gallant comrades, Across the billows wide, "Whe e waves 011 fcnsland's banner In its majesty and pride. There's no gyved slave to fetter, No patriot to enslave; For ye go to strike fur Gordon, Or to weep upon his grave. Our heirts shall go out with ye Upon the battle plain, And loving eyes beam welcome When yo return again. Old England is the bulwark Of freedom thro' tho world There stands no elave or coward Where her ensign is unfurl'd. So we bless our gallant soldiers, Heroic and sublime, Who go to tight for England And Austral's sunny clime. Our hearti shall i;o out with ye Upon the biutle plain, And loying am.a enfold yo When ye return again. Auckland, within the last few days, has been visited by two trips from Taranaki, each steamer load having in it 100 persons. I hope they all enjoyed the change, and went back refreshed to listen to the sound of the surf thundering on the beach, and determined to have a harbour at the Sugar Loaves in spite of fate, and in spite of Nature. The first settlers from England who took up their abole under the shadow of Mount Egmont complained that they could not get sleep for the noise of the waves ; but that musio does not trouble them now. They are only rendered sleepless by the thought that they may not be able to obtain money enough to finish the breakwater as they would like it. Talking of visits of Taranaki men to Auckland reminds me of z. good story. Some man who had spent many years in " the Garden of New Zealand" came to Auckland on a trip. He was a passenger on the top of the Onehunga omnibus, and when he reached the top of Symonds-street and saw the city stretching from Parnell to Ponsonby, and from where he was to the calm waters of the harbour, with the numerous masts of the shipping, he cried out, "O my God ! London ! London!"

Perhaps the best way of observing human nature is in the petty debt Courts, held under the jurisdiction of the Resident Magistrate. I shall only now allude to one case which oame before the Resident Magistrate on Thursday. A case was called, in which a firewood merchant sued an old man named Jeffrsy for a small amount. The counsel for the plaintiff said the case was settled ; the counsel for the defence denied this, and claimed costs, so the affair had to be fought

oat. It appeared that when the defendant Jeffrey—an old man, said to be ninety-seven years of age —heard of the bill and summons, he sent a friend to settle it. This friend met the plaintiff, and at once offered payment of the claim, £1 10a, bnt the plaintiff informed him that there was a farther charge of 6a 8d for a lawyer'e letter, and this they agreed to divide, so the plaintiff accepted £1 13s 6d—being 2d over his agreement—in settlement. After this settlement, however, the defendant received a mo3t extraordinary letter from the lawyers engaged by the plaintiff, accusing him of an attempt to perpetrate a fraud, and a claiming a sum of 16s, which was not due. The only difference between the parties was that of Is 6d ; but, under the circumstance, His Worship, taking a plain, common-sense view of the case, nonsuited the plaintiff with costs. I think the remarks of the magistrate might be well considered by those who are at intervals harassed with threats of legal proceedings and lawyers' letters. Mercotio.