LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7222, 10 January 1885, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

What do dreams portend, or do they portsnd anything at all? I ask the question because of a dream which was told me the other day, and which, whatever there may be in it, is at least a little singular. The man Sheehan, who is accused of a dreadful crime, bought a farm at Waikomiti shortly before his arrest. A lady who formerly owned the same farm, told me that two or three days before Sheehan was taken into custody, she had a dream, and in the dream she saw a strange man whitewashing the walls of the farmhouse at Waikomiti, and lo i as he whitewashed, splashes of blood appeared upon the walls, and he could not obliterate them. This peculiar dream greatly puzzled her, and she wa3 at a loss how to " read " it, but one morning, on taking up the Herald, she learnt of iSheehan's arrest on a charge of murder, and of his having occupied the farm, "and then the whole thing was as plain an a pikestaff," which is more than can be said of a good many dreams.

The first thing one does now, on opesing his newspaper of a morning is, to see who has been annexing, and what has been annexed. Even Spain has entered the race. The Ministers of the great Powers (amongst which must .be included the colonies) must be closely scanning the map of the world, to see if they cannot find a spot upon which to hoist their fi&g. I find the annexation mania a great nuisance, for it compels me to rub up my geography, and sometimes I am quite at a loss with the best assistance I can obtain. Besides, all this annexation must have a very demoralising cffect. "Annexation" is a word of the same suspicious character as kleptomania." It means taking what is not one's own; and when people find that every statesman is bent upon annexing something, they will be tempted to do the same thing on a small scale. Is there any connection between it and the large number of prisoners before the Supreme Court this session? 1 suppose, like other manias., it will pass over, but it certainly is a strange historical phenomena.

There is not much fun to be got now out of printed mistakes in newspapers : they are too common. But surely when an absurd error occurs in tho official Gazette of the colony a, remark may be made. In the Gazette of December 24 (the season may have something to do with it), in a notice about roads in the Upper Thames, a description is thus given To the Tarariki stream, and at a distance of 1000 miles or thereabouts from its confluence with the Uhineinuri Kiver." No doubts links is meant, but will the error vitiate the proclamation ?

It is just possible to overdo the "shadowing" business. On Sunday night, after "The Battle of the Browns," a snarp detective,, who lsad ascertained that the assailant, John Brown, had bolted, discovered where that worthy lived, somewhere in Abercrombie fctreet. He accordingly " shadowed" the place till Brown would arrive. . In about an hour he determined to give it up, from information received, It seems that a con*

stable had Rowle-d up a quarter of an hour before the detectives and taken Brown to the lock up. The feelings of the detective on finding that he had been "shadowing" the empty house long after Brown was arrested and cooling his heels in the public cells, may be more easily imagined than described.

A "young man from the country" went to the races on a bob-tailed nag, and being desirous of putting his little bit on the totalizator, got a lad to hold his horse. On coining back he could not find his hqrse, high or low. A reward in the papers at last led to its being left at a livery stable, minus the saddle aud bridle. The young man is under the impression that this is.another phase of the "confidence trick," but he is cured of handing over his horse on a racecourse to perfect strangers, even with tho chance of being on the winner in the totalizator.

The fatal accident to Patterson, at the Ellerslie races, through trespassing on the course after a race has been started, should stimulate the Jockey Club and the police authorities to act with more decision and vigour in prohibiting such practices than they have hitherto done. This is the style of thing which may be seen at any Ellerslie race meeting. From the time the race starts until the horses come round the turn into the straight, men, women, aud boys—to say nothing of the inevitable dog—are crossing and re-crossing the course between the grand stand aud "the hill." As the horses thunder down tho straight the crowd at the hill rush in on the racecourse not 100 yards from the judge's stand, and clone up to meet the advancing horses ! The jockeys, unable to pull up their horses at the speed, have simply to ride into the crowd, who open up in long alleys for that purpose. One of those days, with a boy up who is unable to hold his horse in hand, or who may lose his presence of mind under such circumstances, there will bo a frightful tragedy. After a race has been started no person, on any pretence, should be allowed to trespass on the course, save tho officials authorised, on pain of prosecution.

To show tho state of the public mind at present, I may mention that it was rumoured in town the other day that during the previous night a German man-of-war had stolen into the harbour, had sent on shore long telegrams for Prince Bismark, and then had stolen away again before the sun had risen over the Thames range of mountains.

The "hands" on board the Hinemoa are infinitely perplexed at the mustering of arms and the running hither and thither, with a perpetual liability to be ordered to sea. It is said that the report on board the other day was, that she was to be sent off to the Shetland Islands for ponies.

It is rumoured that a very serious difficulty lias cropped up in regard to a recent sale of thoroughbred stock. It is found that one of the largest buyers, who was loudly cheered when he made his purchases, has no funds of his own, having made his property over to his better half. The lady sets her face like a Hint against horse-racing and all concerned in it, and declares that she will not give a " copper towards her husband's purchases. How the difficulty will be got over I cannot imagine.

"I would rather see New Zealand free, than see New Zealand learned." Such is the dictum of certain of our Gamaliels, who have been agitating to put mathematics " on the free list" of the University. What a capital idea it would be to make all subjects for examination voluntary. It would so much enhance the value of our already priceless degrees. What with Greek and Theology tabooed ; with mathematics and science optional, our 8.A.-hood will symbolise the emptiness of the wearer, as will the catskin trimmings, innocent of the usual " stuffing," show the hollowness of the title. Do as I suggest, make the rest of the subjects optional, and the New Zealand degree will become so "sublime" as to be only the proverbial step from the— well, that perfection of rarity to which Alice's well-known " Cheshire cat " attained in Wonderland—a rarity so complete that " naught but a grin remained."

What has become of the anti-smoking league which was formed in Auckland some time ago? Has it, like the cigar kept from the lips too long, gone out ? or has public opinion proved too much for it? As a smoker, I feel a secret satisfaction at these abortive attempts to crush out "the plant divine of rarest virtue." There are some miserably ascetic creatures who would deprive us of every little indulgence because they cannot enjoy it themselves. Mr. Spurgeon once gave them an ugly rap across the knuckles. If anybody, ho declared, could show him in the Bible the command, "Thou shalt not smoke," he was ready to keep it. "I find," he said, "ten commandments, and it's as much as I can do to keep them; and I've no desire to mike them into eleven or twelve. Why, a man may think it a sin to have his boots blacked. Well, then, let him give it up and have them white-washed. I wish to say that I'm not ashamed of anything whatever that 1 do, and I don't feel that smoking makes me ashamed, and therefore I mean to smoke to the glory of God."

A good story is told of Professor Huxley and the weed. At a certain debate on smoking, amongst the members of the British Association, he told the story of his early struggles after tobacco iu a way which utterly put the anti-tobacconists to confusion :— " For forty years of my life (he said) tobacco had been a deadly poinon to mo. (Loud cheers from the anti-tobacconists.) In my youth, as a medical student, 1 tried to smoke. In vain ! At every fresh attempt my insidious foe stretched me prostrate on the floor. (Repeated cheers.) I entered the navy. Again I tried to smoke, and again met with defeat. I hated tobacco. 1 could almost have lent my support to any institution that had for its object the putting of tobaccosmokera to death. (Vociferous chocring ) A tew years ago 1 was in Brittany with some friends. We went to an ion. They began to smoke. They looked very happy, and outside it was very wet aud dismal. I thought I would try a cigcr. (Murmurs.) 1 did so. (Great expectations.) I smoked that cigar—it was delicious. (Groans.) From that moment I was a changed man ; and I now feel that smoking iu moderation i* a comfortable and laudable practice, and is productive of good. (Dismay and confusion of the anti-tobaceonists; roars of laughter from the smokers.) 'I here is no more harm in a pipe thatrthero is in a cup of tea. You may poison yourself by drinking too much green tea, and kill yourself by eating too many beefsteaks. For my own part, I consider that tobacco, in moderation, is a sweetener and equalizer of the temper." (Total rout of the anti-tobacconists, and complete triumph of the smokers.) Mercctio.