JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7222, 10 January 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

Faith leads, Hope follows, and sweet Charity weaves their trophya into garlands. Poetry is nature's dialect; from the little violet to the huge mountain, all nature is set to the musick ov poetry. Human happiness iz held in solution, and every man iz hiz own chemist. Mankind seem to be divided in this way : one who knows more than he lean tell, and nine who kan tell more than they kno. , What we must have we kan ailwaya get, but our misfortune iz, what we kant git we want the most. Politeness, even if it iz artificial, iz the most respektable fraud there iz. Man can prove hiz immortality by his Maker, but he haz got to prove hiz virtews bi himself. A loafer can't giv nor receive an insult ; this iz lower down than the animals ever get. A fool all ways has two chances against him ; one iz, he iz a fool, and the other iz, he don't kno it. Lazyne.ss iza terrible burden ; every pound ov it weighs at least twenty ounces. • Honesty iz principle in some, a senticneut in others, and a virtue in all. He who never haz been tempted iz a weak man still. Wine may be the key that unlocks the inner recess, but very seldom reveals ennything pleasant to look upon. Smiles and tears are born from the heart, and are az often twins az otherwise. If there was no justiss, there would be no mercy. Mi dear phellow, learn this early : yu kant hold a man long bi the button hole, and yu kant hold him she seckond time, at all.