SNAP SHOTS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVIII, Issue 6147, 30 July 1881, Page 6

SNAP SHOTS.

ScAELET fever?" Oh, dear-no.-- : Measles ? Not at all, never were, such healthy, children as the I little Pinafores, couldn't be sick if they tried, guaranteed by their parents never to be sick, warranted under all circumstances, in all, places, and in all ; weathers, never to exceed a mild cold. And did not Dr. Stock-, well give a. certificate, - and didn't- it just show the warranty sound ? Colds, nothing more; treatment, pockethandkerchiefs ad libitum; lozenges, ditto... There ought to be a prosecution of. the ill-natured people who set the scarlet fever going, and hurt the feelings of those dear little Pinafores. Will it be believed that one audacious person, who ought to have known, accounted for the pallor of one of the little fellows with the ominous word—scarlet fever. All nonsense, of course, for was he not a warranted child under engagement never to be sick ? And then the exposures promised by-one of the papers, when, of course, there couldn't be exposures, how could there? i Nevertheless, let us have, an Act of Parliament to prevent infants being turned into little, men and women before the foot-lights, when they .ought to bo dreaming of marbles or dolls. : 111-natured Toby Twinkle! Can't help it. My mind my kingdom is. Truth against a world in arms, and in ah age of shams.:

Mr. Macrae has trumped Mr. Fenton'a best; card and scores the odd trick. The Judge had loat count, and thought all the trumps were out. This is what came «f thinking of the charming player on that classical instrument, the accordeon; how a place must be found for him in the Judge's department, and contemplation of the delight of Herr Schmidt? It is true, and this is the trump card. Mr. Macrae has .opened a school, and taken away fifty boys from the Grammar School. Most wise Judge, who couldn't abide the 3cotch clique, would break it up, and has helped to break up the Grammar School instead. But revenge is sweet. If the pupils are less numerous, they are to be a wonder to the public eye. Decked in cap and gown they are henceforth to please the classic eye and refined taste ofthat compendium of law, music, learning and every thing in general, the admirable Criehton, the Judge of the Native Lands Court. Mr. Macrae is to be congratulated, and the public, who always like fair play, know a good master from a bad one, and don't care about judicial fads.

There is an old saying that it's a dirty bird that fouls it's own nest, and it isn't pretty to find- an officer of the Government Insurance Department thai was, but is not, making use of a public journal to damage the Department he has left. A few months ago Auckland resounded with this gentleman's praise of the Department, the superlative inducements it oflered to insurers, and now all that is changed. What is the matter ? Has the gentleman a good grievance ? If so, j this is a very crooked way of airing it. Here's Sir Julius Vogel insulting the Government now that he has got quit of it and can do so with impunity, and what wonder if the small fry follow the example ? The Government returned Sir Julius his saucy despatch, and the papers should have acted on the same principle, and not allow a late public servant to take it out of his former employers. It's bad form—shocking. Let's Bee. What are the conditions requisite to make a candidature for a seat in Parliament successful ? Promise anything, make friends of the members of local bodies, become an Odd-Fellow, get on good terms with the publicans, sympathise with the teetotallers, glow with indignation at the wrongs of the district, stick to the Education Bill— with a wink for the clergy, drop a few pounds to the charities, chatter Conservatism to the Conservatives, democratic sentiments to the working men, denounce land-jobbers, but be in the swim and generally mould your conscience like a bit of putty. Well, it isn't savory, but, after all, look at the pay, and the fun of votes of want-of-confidence, and the little jobs to be worked, and the chance of being a Cabinet Minister in some scratch team. Better than all, they are trying, those peoplo in Wellington, to trip up triennial Parliaments, and make them heaven only knows how long, which, gentlemen electors, bear carefully in mind when your sweet voices are wooed. Go into Parliament, get a long innings, snap your fingers at your constituents—it's 50 per cent, better than gotting an honest living, and not half the trouble. But, seriously, isn't it cool for those worthies in Wellington who passed triennial Parliaments only the other day to be working the oracle in thie cool way ? Electors, permit me to be your guide, counsellor, and friend. Mark the men who voted for the long term. Just one word and no more. The Harbour Board has voted Mr. Blaekett, a public servant, fifty guineas—only fifty guineas ! — for reporting on the dock site. Why, if tho Government pay him ? Is it a good principle for public servants to be allowed to take outside money? That's all. Just something worth thinking about, and nothing more. Can it be true? Has good sense so far prevailed that Ponsonby has turned a loving eye on Auckland, and proposes to enter into partnership? In the words of Pygmalion, " they tell me fio." How many a sore sole would rejoice 1 No more quarrels. The perturbed spirit of Mr. Field would rest in peace —when those libel actions are over; people who appear in their night-shirts at their drawing-room windows, shocking domestic servants, would have to eschew the airy luxury. The fair charms of Ponsonby, chaste if not aristocratic, like Parnell, wedded to the robust form of AucklandMr. Clark would be twice. a Mayor, and his rebellious eyes tell the emotion of Mr. Philips. Toby Twinkle.