ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVIII, Issue 6147, 30 July 1881, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

All tho year round—The earth. Full of Interest—The ledger of a savings bank.

Good breeding ia the letter of credit all over tho world.

Hope is over young, Hope is always represented as a woman. An epitap!i for a faith ful car-couducter— He took his last fare well.

Hie who receives a "good turn" should never forget it; he who does one should never remember it.

By a Mother-in-Law —"You can deceive your guileless little wife, young man, but her father'e wife—never 1"

If the ages of human beinga woro to be reckoned only by hours and days well spent most of us would be in our infancy.

To pronounce a man happy merely because ho is rich is just as absurd as to call a man healthy because he has enough to eat. No one ever yet saw a man who made a move to separate two doge in battle, as long as his own dog was having the best of it. The difference between a man who digs in the ground and one who digs in books is that the former digs for hire and the latter for lore.

Never build after you aro five-and-forty; have five years income in hand before; and always calculate the expense by doubling tho estimate.

The conversation of women in society resembles tho straw used in packing china; it is nothing, yet without it everything would be broken.

Make friends with your creditors if you can, but never make a creditor of your friend. It only gives him another excuse for being disagreeable. • A wooden Indian ought properly to bo the sign, not of a tabacco shop, but of a loan office. It would indicate to the pawner that within ho would find the Pawnee. Catch the idea ?

There are undoubtedly a great many things which are better than riches, but riches are good enough lor those of us who feel humble and wish, to leave something for other people. . . ■ , " You are fond of the British poets, Miss C. ?" " Oh, awfully so!" " Have you read Lamb?" "Yes, and with such pleasure 1" " Are you fond of Hogg !'■" " Yes; but Iso dread trichinosis 1" Curtain. .-. :

Bad luck is a man with his hands in his breeches' pockets and a pipe in hie mouth, looking on to see how.ib will come. Good luck is a man to meet difficulties, his sleeves rolled up and working to make it como right. . ■ . : ..' ■ '..' : " Which is the more delicate sense, feeling , or sight ?" asked a professor in a Columbia College. "Feeling," responded a student. " Give a proof of it, with an example," said k the professor. " Well, my chum can feel his; moustache, but nobody can see it," said the student. . 'i.' • : . ' •■■ Itis never well to joke|on serious subjects,:; for before you know it.you may bo'bitten. Archbishop Laud, who was a manof smaUstature, was asked when at dinner with, Charles I. to say grace. He turned jocosely- - to the king's jester, who was present, and-. asked him to say it instead. The jester gravely bowed his head and said solemnly,... " Great praise be given to God and little laud ■, to the devil. Amen." , . '. .'-.. Sir Gorgius Midas goes m for culture. • "Look 'ere, Clark. 'Appy thought! 111:. make this little room the! libery,. you know; • ■ave alot of books. Mind you order me some. • ■ "Yes, SirGorgius. Wh.fttsort of books shall I order?" "Oh, tho bust, of course, with:,• knovP very : mirkcaMoso SchomburgtoGimooly, "if my ;•• "rudder Sam vash anHonest man. , ;;. ■.•fill ;, tell vou how too find out|if ho is honest : or... > not," responded Gilhooly; ■ "Next timo you :<■ co qS oil tho train take him along • toi the y : • depfit, and juet before I;hi> train leaves give ,' ... him a lOdol. bill and tcll;:him to change ,it. .." If ho comes back with, thi) change then Tie is; '■; : presumably honest."-' "But ven ho idqn't V' come pack?" " Then you lO3e your lOdoL" "Shimminy grashus! Tiid you suppose lor , ' a moment, Mr. Gilhoolj',, dot I' vash '.com.% ■; pletelyeatup init curiosluty ?" "!.'■.:.-.'..-;'.■.-.•'.''. Kind words never die. An elderly stranger, i bought a copy of a Galwiston paper from'a ,- ; newsboy and.handed him a quarierj" but _~, on tho boy's hunting for chringo, the old gentle-;" 3 man said, "Nevermind the change; just keep it for yourself wag probably.:', i; the first kind word that had ever beon.Bpok'olii ~ to the homeless, friendless orphan boy sifceehis ■-•■ mother had died, and it wmpetely'pvercame v him. Hastily brushing,j away'ja'V tear,". Jl9 .: seized his bonefactor's hia],d and exclaimed in nv a husky voice, "BuUy,fw ; you,'-dld Stick-itf-"-thc-mud! I wonder howttauch rewara-thero":: is offered for you by used to be presidonj; of I , - -', ~ -■. ■;■"'.,- •;;■';»,