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New Zealand Herald, Volume XV, Issue 5173, 15 June 1878, Page 7

A farmer on the fever and ague marshes of New .Jersey has named his daughter " Malaria." Don't bother your head about people who are going about trying to take away your character. Very likely it will do you good. Men are very often like a bair of boots : the more they are blackened the more they ehine. "Papa," asked a little six-year-old daughter of an uptown physician, " wasn't Job a doctor?" "I never heard that he was. Why?" "Because mamma said tha other day she didn't think you had any of the patients of Job." It is becoming the fashion in Parisian marriage contracts that the furniture and renting of the house be secured in the wife's name. The husband may then run in debt, but he will ever have a refuge at home. Indeed, in France women are en train to cut out "he critters " generally. Before long, the hardier sex will have to go in for " men's rights." No wonder when a man here marries he is said to quit the world,and his wife to enter it. Parson Green, in the habit sometimes of drawing upon a barrel of sermons bequeathed him by his father, who was also a minister, upon one occasion got hold of a sermon by mistake, v.-hich the old gentleman had once preached to the State prison convicts. It opened well, and the congregation were becoming deeply interested, when all at once the parson surprised them with the information that, "had it not been for the clemency of the governor, everyone of them would have been hung a long time ago."

" If you are stung by a wasp while pic nicking," says a floating paragraph, "apply the end of a cigar which has been chewed for a few moments to the wound." Young ladies should remember this, and always chew the end of a cigar a few moments and place the "weed" in their pockets before starting on a picnic. The chewing process will make them so sick, that they will not want to go to the picnic, and thus they will escape being stung by a wasp. \Yhen farmer Budge read that a bull ainted by Kosa Bonheur sold for five houaaud dollars, he remarked to his wife that he didn't bee how a coat of paint could so greatly enhance the value of the animal, but if Kosa didn't charge more than ten dollars, he would get her to paint his bull in the spring. And his economical wife replied, that she thought he might paint it himself and save his ten dollars. The indications are now that the bull will be painted.— Norristown Herald.

The Duke of Gratnraont was the most adroit and witty courtier of his day. He entered one day the closet of Cardinal Mazarin without being announced. His Eminence was amusing himself by jumping against the wall. To surprise a Prime Minister in bo boyish an occupation was dangerous. A less skilful courtier might have stammered excuses, and retired. But the Duke entered briskly, and cried out, " I'll bet you 100 crowns that I jump higher than your Eminence 1' And the Duke and Cardinal began to jump for their lives. Grammont took care to jump a few inches lower than the Cardinal, and six months afterwards was marshal of France. One of the most striking characteristics of woman is her cheerful perseverance in looking under the bed for a man. No man in his senses ever looks under the bed for a woman, but there are millions of women in America who would find it quite impossible to sleep in any bed under which they had not previously searched for a concealed man. Experience is lost upon them. The average unmarried woman of forty years of age has usually looked under the bed at least 7,500 times, without ever once finding the expected man, but she is not in the least discouraged by so long a course of failure ; and it would be'easy to find women of eighty or ninety years who still nightly search for the man whom they have never found.