Page 3 Advertisements Column 2

New Zealand Herald, Volume X, Issue 2910, 27 May 1873, Page 3

[FROM THE " WEEKLY HERALD."] I nAVE long had it in my mind to compile a work to be called " The Ministerial Guide." There is nothing whatever going now which is entitled to be called anything nt all that hasn't got a " guido" of Borne sort to help it on. There is an Immigrant Guido, that fell into my hands a few days ago, wliieh gave such wonderful instructions to the intending immigrant, that if he only could follow tliem up it wouldn't be very long before he found himself in the receipt of at loast twenty thousand a-year and a landed estate. Ho was to bo sure, the " Guido" said, to settlo on the bend of a navigable river where the soil was of a rich chocolate color, not less than three feet in thickness, and which sloped towards the rivor so as to ensure a natural draiuago. This land, which was also if possible to face the rising sun, was to be close to a good market, so that the produce could be taken to it in a few hours. There were lots of this sort of advice all through tho book, which must have charmed the intending immigrant, and quite calculated to open his eyes when ho arrived out in this colony, and set to work up to instructions. To tho making of guides there is no end, guides to poulterers, to etiquette, to market gardeners, to reporters, to tho manufacture of artificial manures, to letter writers, to breeding silk worms, to clergymen for preparing seruious, for sewing-machines, guideu for lawyers, for doctors, for members of tho British Parliament; and so wbv should there not be a guide for Colonial Ministers ? It may prove very useful, for there is nono of us can say what we may not conic to yet. A man shall bo selling apples three pound a shilling, or a sandwich with a glass of ale for fourpence this year, and ho may be a Minister of Telegraphic Poles next, at a thousand per annum, or a Game Law Commissioner, or Chief Departmental Secretary for the Suppression of Thistles or the Waste Lands of the Colony, or Minister of Fish Ponds and Salmon Ova. In these eventful times we know what we are, but wo know not what we limy be. It iL quite certain we must all die, and it is equally uncertain who may be a Colonial Minister. Thereforo a Ministerial Guide, adapted to the comprehension of the million, will be about as useful—not more so perluips or less so perhaps than most other guido books. As an average specimen of what my compilation is likely to be I extract from my manuscript, which will shortly fall into the hands of the printer, the following:—"How to Prepare a Financial Statement.: In preparing a financial statement which shall meet with the approval of the ma jority (nothing more being required) of the Houso before whom it is to bo laid, several qualifications arerequiste in a Colonial Treasurer. In the first place he must thoroughly understand the power and flexibility of figures, and what they can be made to accomplish. I will give an illustration of my meaning in the figure nine. Well, it is known that the number nine contains three threes. Now three times three are nine,and three times nine are twenty-seven. So you perceive you have j gained eighteen by that process should you want to obtain an excess upon the initial figure. But, dealing with the three threes in order to reduce the value, wo must say two threes make six ; take three from six when three remains, and there you are. The first set of calculations are used by Colonial Treasurers when they want to slinw the enormous extent of their assets, the second when they wish to show how very insignificant liabilities are. Now what can be done with the figure nine can be done with the figures nine thousand or any greater or smaller number. To arrive at assets, so that no one may understand them, it is necessary to have a set of tables marked A, B, C, and D. In one of these should be placed tho ' sinking fund ;' in another ' supplementary receipts.' In the third 1 receipts in the aggregut*?.' In the fourth pluce ' old Treasury bills issuable.' Add the totals of the tables together ; multiply by threo for ' receipts' to the ' credit of votes,' divido by two for 'special fund,' and subatract the amount of ' charges to provinces' plus "grants to Highway Boards' minus ' capitation allowances when everything is as plain as a spikestaff.' Prepare nine appendices marked G to L which shows ' expenditure against receipts exclusive of redemption of Treasury bills,' after deducting overdraft, and b!\ow that in five vears the colony will be not only free from debt but in a position to assist foreign powers with enormous loans, by advancing from tho heavily freighted Treasury chests, to assist tbem in carrying on public works after the manner done in tho colony. If the Treasurer, in his financial statement, has to admit that the exports for tho present financial year have not been so largo as during tho previous year, he should congratulate tho House as evidencing the fact that, instead of sending our valuablo products to other countries for alien people to make profit, wo can afford to keep them within the colony. If our exports happen to be in excess, he must then say that the increase of our producing powers is a sure sign of an enlarged prosperity. If our imports have fallen oil", tho Houso should be informed that we are now manufacturing for our own uses what we were wont to send away our money to bring into the colony. If, on the other hand, imports have increased, this will show our enlarged' purchasing power, and that we are able to carry on an immense amount of sail under the most favouring breezes. If we have failed in selling our own debentures in our own market, it ia a sure sign

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