"ARTEMUS WARD HIS BOOK"

New Zealand Herald, Volume III, Issue 647, 8 December 1865, Page 5

"ARTEMUS WARD HIS BOOK"

Has, through tho enterprise of Mr. Robertson, bookseller and publisher, of Melbourne, been circulated in thousands in tho Australian colonies. We append ono specimen of the author's style, which may excito the curiosity of tlioso who may have not read the author's sayings and doiuga to purchaso the book:—

" I don't protond to bo a cricket, and consekentlj tho reader will not regard this 'oro poaco as Cricket cism. I Bimply dosine givon the pints & Plot of i play I saw actid out at tho theater t'other nite, calle< Ojsywattormy Brown or the Hero of Harper's Ferry Osaywattermy had varis fail ins, ouo of which was i ideo" that ho could conkor Yirginny with a few duzzei loonatica which he had picked up somewhares, mercj only nose when. Ho didn' cum it, as tho seke showed. This J>!ay was jerkt by a admirer of ok Ossywattormy. First ukt opens at North Elby, Olc Brown's humsted. Thuro's a wedding at the house irnoly, Old Brown's darter, rnarrys aombody, anc ,hey all whirl in tho Messy darnce, Then Oasywat army and his 3 suns leovo fur Kansis. Old Mrs issywattermy tells 'em thay air goin on a long jurnj 1 Blesses 'em to slow fiJdlin. They go to Kaneis iVhat upon arth thay go to Kansis fur when thaj vas ao nico & comfortablo down thero to North Elby 3 m'oro'n I know. Tho suns air next seen in Kansii ■t a tarvern. Mister Blano, a sinister looking mai: vith his Belt full of knives and hosi pistils, axes ont if tho Browns to talco a drink. Brown refuzis vhich is tho fust instance on record whar a Browr loklined such a invito. Mister Blane, who is !i darl loarded feroshus lookin porson, then axis hiii vhether he's fur or furnenst Slavery. Young Browr 02 he's agin it, wliareupon Mister Blane, who is th( nost sinisterest lookin man I ever saw, sez, Har, bar lar! (that bein his stile of larfin wildly) & ups & ticks a knife into yung Brown. Anuther Browr ushes up & aez, "you has killed mo Bor-ruther 1' Hoosic by tho Band & Soon changes. Tho stul rung Browu enters supported by hi? two brothers 3imeby ho falls down, sez ho Bees lus Mother, & dies Hoosio by the Band. I lookt but couldn't_ sea anj nother. N«xt seon roveels Old Brown's cabin. He'i •cadin a book. He sez freedom must oxtond its Aroi ind rubs hiß hands like he wus plecsed abowt it. Hi iun? cum in. One of 'em goes out & oums in ded lavin been shot wliile out by a Border Ruffin. Thi led yung Brown aez ho sees his mother and tumble, lown. Tho Border huffins then surround tho cabii i set it a firo. The Brownß gives theiraelves up fo: jono coonß, when tho hired gal diskivors a trap doo 'o ' the cabin & they go down throw it & cum u| brew the bulkhed. Their morraklis 'scapa remindi no of tho 'scape of Do Jones tho Coaraohair of tin 3ulf—a toil with a yallar kiver, that I onet red. Fo lixteen yoari he was confined in a loathsum dunjin lot tastin of food durin all that time ! He oponoi ihe winder and got out. To resoom—Old Browi •uslics down to the footlites, gits down on bis neo fc swares lio'll hav rovenge. The battle of Osßywa ;ermy takes place. Old Brown kills Mister Blane ho sinister individooal aforesed. Mister Blane make; i. able & clerquent speech, aez he don't see his mothpi nuch, and diea like a son of a gentleman, rapt up it ;he Star Spangled Banner. Moosic by the Band Tour or five other Border Kuffins air killed but thej lon't say notliin abowt seeing their mothers. From lannis to Harper's Ferry. Picter of a Arsenal is •opresented. Sojera cum & fire at it. 01d_ Brown sums out & permitß liUself to bo shot. Ho ia tried >y two Boops in millingtcry close, and sentenced to be iung on the gallus. Tabloo —Old JBrowii on a ilatform. pintin upards, tho etiige litcd up vritU red ire. Goddess of Liberty also on platform, pintm ipards. A dutcliman in tho orkestry warbles on a msQ drum. Ourtin falls. Moosic by tho Band."