IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume XVIII, Issue 949, 19 September 1918, Page 22

IT IS TOWN TALK

—That the German Chancellor fears that the Holienzollern dynasty is coming to an end. The kind of rope is not specified. —-That a returned padre states: "The war has hardly been felt in New Zealand." Obviously he hasn't read the divorce court reports. —That four and a-half million iron crosses have been given away by the Kaiser. One wonders what the few German soldiers who have not received iron crosses have done to merit the distinction. —That America in July last had 75,000 university graduates enlisted for war service out of 396,619 living graduates, most of the 75,000 being in the Army. These figures include those serving in the Red t Cross and Y.M.C.A. —That a propos of the proposal of a concrete motor track for the Huttroad, a prominent motorist suggests that that costly thoroughfare should be re-named Rut-road. He backs it against any of the roads in the war zone for its craters and pits. —That defendant in a recent breach of promise case wrote: ''I send you a million kisses." His Honour awarded plaintiff £50 damages. That works out at about one hundred kisses per penny. Had he sent her a thousand kisses only he might have got out of it for a humble bob. —That the New Zealand editors were received in France by President Poincare and Premier Clenienceau. The latter, of course, were delighted with the perfect accent of the distinguished visitors from Nouvelle Zelande and the remarkable ease with which they conversed in French. —That the Press Association cablecrammer says that the New Zealand editors weire "fortunate" in arriving at Havrincourt the same day as our boys had driven the Germans out of the place. It could hardly be good fortune to witness the sufferings of the wounded. and the gruesome sight of many German dead.

—That soldiers from Taranaki at the Front are called "The Moos." Hawke's Bay swaddiee are "The Baas." —That Wilhelm and Karl axe agreed toj conquer or perish together. What New Zealand punter would back a pair of kings to bluff the Allies' full hand ? —That it was Kaiser Bill who' said, "We Germans are the salt of the earth." If, that be true, much of the soil of Northern France has been well salted. —That the German birth-rate has dropped 40 per cent. This implies great discrimination on the part of the unborn, who prefer to remain the unborn than the born Hun. —That M. J. ' Mack's candidature shows that the loyal British section of Labour doesn't mean to be throttled or doped by Bolshevikism and the "high ideals" (save the mark) that Alexan-dra-street orators credit it with. —That there are 250,000 American troops in camp in Erin for service against the) Germans. And Ireland was never more peaceful. Why ? - Because Pat is more in sympathy with his brethren from America than with Sinn. Fein treason-mongers.