IT IS Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume XVII, Issue 929, 2 May 1918, Page 22

IT IS Town Talk

—That Australia boasts a recruit of 28 etone. But it i.s numbers, not . weight, that Australia requires. -f-That a country exchange observes: "There are vacancies for middle-aged men in the New Zealand Army Service Corpse." —That a witness in a London court . case stated that she was able to sell blouses at 18s lid a dozen. The Beak '(obviously a Benedict) in his wisdow remarked that few of our womenfolk can buy so reasonably. —That John Bunny has long since ceased to do his bit on the screen, but an equine name-sake is now busy doing his bit on the turf —at least was, for he has just gone lame. Wonder if he carries weight as well as the original Bunny? " ——That the German naval officers in their night gowns never had a worse nightmare than when Vice-Admiral Keyes gave them "unadulterated hell" ' while he unlocked the gates of Zeebrugge and left his defiant Union Jack flying on the ruined mole. —That the recent successful naval raid upon Ostend and Zeebrugge suggests that First Sea Lord Sir Rosslyn Wemyss is disposed to take more risks than Lord Jellicoe was. Jack Tar will be likely to get more opportunities now to show his dash and hi£ resource. —That sailors of Uncle Sam's flo- . tillas stationed on the Irish coast have been wooing the colleens and marriages have been averaging one a day. One American sailorman bold recently carried off as his bride a young Irish heiress, the daughter of aristocratic parents. —That a "Pacifist" woman got into a loyalist meeting at Melbourne the "other night and showed her pacific disposition, by operating an insect powderpuffer filled with pepper. When the coughing and sneezing she caused was at its height a large policemen caught the female hooligan in the act and ran her out.

. —That it's not safe at present to ask a ELelburn man: "Were you one of the Ten?" —That the A.M.P. has seven millions sterling invested in the war loans of the Umpire. JNo cold feet in that quarter. —That immediately it was known the Uity Rate Collector was called up in tiie last military ballot a patriot turned up hot foot offering to take the billet. He is still waiting.—That, a snapshot photograph taken by an artless child of ten will •be an exhibit in a case of busted affections witliin' the next few months. —That there are 500,000 shopmen in the British Army at tiie Front. And they are helping to pay back in compound interest the Kaiser's taunt that "Jiritain is a nation of shopmen." —That Uncle Sam has reconstructed his Aviation Department, replacing Howard Coffin by John D. Ryan as Director. About time. "What chance for his frying men when they were placed under a "Coffin?" —That the prevailing epidemic in Blighty is bigamy. A recent bigamist in a London court was a soldier—one of the "contemptible little British Army" —who was both blind and paralysed from shell-shock. —That the new skirts, so says an American fashion journal, are becoming tighter and tighter. Why don't the fashion designers settle the question once and for all by giving the dear souls trousers. —;That our Yankee cousins are also finding living nowadays very expensive. The humblest meal in New York to-day costs 4s 2d, and upon some menus steak and chops are a dollar each. But, despite the high price, Uncle Sam is not eating any less. - —That many New Zealand farmers are now kicking themselves for short-/ sighted folly in using cheap German fencing-wire which only has a life "of half-a-dozen years or so. They saved shilinga at the spigot-and are now Josing pounds at the bunghole. The total loss is placed as high as hundreds "of thousands of pounds. • —That W. M... Hughes (Federal Premier) and Joseph Cook (Liberal Leader) —Australia's delegates to the Imperial War Council—are both absolutely dead set against returning Samoa and New Guinea to the German's. Cook says "We must retain the Pacific Islands to the last gasp." That just about "cooks" the German hash.

—That London's meatless day smacks of irony. It's Chewsday. —That with a Geddes as First Lord of the Admiralty and a VN'emyss as X'irst Sea Lord the submarine menace .stands a fair chance of being Scotched. —That the Press Baby and the Xhorndon Baby seem to be leading the procession at present. Look out for iliein on the screen. —That, judging by a. recent police vaid, the Upland-road is in danger of exchanging its name'for the "-Downward Hoad." —That a Nelson soldier-boy wrote home to his confiding parents: "Great news. I have been recommended for the V.C., and also the C.L.1.N.K." —That they're asking at Home "How long the young Guardsman from the Colonies who is cutting such a dash at the moment can last:"' Can you pick him? —That quite a number of eminent citizens found themselves "locked in" at the Police Court the other morning when the Kelburn revellers were cited to appear. —That a mixture of onion juice and rum is the latest thing out to save falling hair. It makes you consider which you would rather keep: your hair or your friends? —That the supporters of the various Carnival,- Babies are already going strong and the ,excitement promises to "rise to a" higher temperature than in the Carnival Queen era. —That the Prince of Wales has recently been over on a trip to Italy and 'tis said he admired Princess Yolanda, King EmanueFs daughter. But Edward has always said he wouldn't marry'a. dark-haired girl. Still that difficulty might be overcome—with a little dye. —That a London paper asks the pointed question "If the unexpected return of a youthful warrior had anything to do with the termination of Miss de Trafford's engagement to Lord Burghersh?" Well, we should say it is at least more probable than the religious difficulty previously suggested. —That Miss Frances Stevenson, wh"o has been made a Commander of the Order of the British Empire, is the first woman in the Empire to hold the post of Private Secretary to a Prime Minister of England. Little Davy chose her as hie Private Secretary when he was Chancellor of the Exchequer.

—That King Manuel of Portugal' has been enjoying himself at Which JbJastbonrne? - ' ■ —That Kaiser Bill's "bawl" still continues ''on the bounce." Read has last speech—cabled this week. —That the British crack airman is a youth of '22. He recently brought down seven Hun machines in two days. —That a recent military wedding in the Old Country unites 2nd Lieutenant vvajne, M.U., to Miss Beatrice May iNutt. Tney are now a united Walnut.—That the Man in the Street asks: "is it really true, as reported by Rev. toward JiUiiott, tliat iSinri Jj'ein badges are being imported into .Wew Zealand y" Ur did Howard merely dream it - - •