IT IS TOWN TALK.

Free Lance, Volume XVII, Issue 915, 25 January 1918, Page 22

IT IS TOWN TALK.

That some race-goers got quite "crusty" over those pies at Trentham. —That the girls of Britain may have donned the slacks, but they are \ not slackers. . —That the Triple Entente is well represented by the three M's—Men, money, and munitions. —That the use of private horses is now forbidden in Berlin. Doubtless they are wanted for the restaurants. —-That the food conservation slogan in Europe, the TJnited Kingdom, and America to-day is: "Be Patriotic — "Weigh Less." —That although the ex-Czar spends his time now in chopping down trees, Russia is still a long way from being out of the wood. —That in connection with the recent disaster at Halifax one big undertaking firm Teceivedi an order for 4000 coffins. Immediate delivery was the essence of the order. That by letting "pill-box" material get through freely into Ger- ' many, the Ihitch have shown_ that their idea of neutrality is only in the abstract—not in the concrete. —That the wowsers will be appalled to hear that Jamaica intends to raise By the sale of rum the £60,000 a year that she proposes to pay for 50 years towards the expenses of the war. —That Von, Tirpitz now explains that if he did promise that on a definite date Britain would be beaten, into submission by the U boats, it is not his fault that Britain has refused to keep to it. —-That a certain up-country sporting gumdigger managed to score a win the other day, his prad arriving home first and landing the stake. It must have been a big surprise to him for the tote paid a divvy of over half a century and he had only risked thirty bob on his moke's chances.

—That a young man wants to know how long girls should be courted. Same as short ones, of course. That a boy of 15 thinks he is too old to run errands. But after he is 30 and maxried he changes his mind. —That a citizen of Manchester has offered a gift of £1000 to the first British airman who drops a live bomb on Berlin. "Why not make it £10,000 for a pot shot at the Kaiser's Palace at Potsdam ? —That love is blind. But when a fellow gets up in the morning and finds that his wife has lifted all his small change, also the ten-shilling note he had hidden in the lining of his vest pocket, he thinks otherwise. —That two "lonely soldiers," mention of whose solitude was given prominence in the press, have since received 5000 letters each. They are now looking for the chap who informed the newspaper man that they were "lonely soldiers." —That of all big drinking sprees the biscuit goes, to a Sydney company manager who unfolded his financial woes in court the other day. He confessed to the court that at one time he was drinking three bottles of whisky a day and his sprees lasted as long as Is months at a time. Phew!

—That "Russian law allows a man to marry only four times." That "only" is the highest tribute to Russian courage we have yet heard. —That "there is a shortage of whisky and prices are soaring, upwards." The shortage, however, was not very pronounced at the Wellington races at Trentha.nl on Anniversary Day. —That Count Ton Laickner during his transfer along with other German prisoners from Auckland to Lyttelton was allowed to visit the saloon bar on the boat and to stay while in "Wellington at one of the.best hotels. Does the Government supply Von with the necessary money. If not, who does? —That a young suburban wife, concerned over the health of her firstborn, appealed to. the good-natured Irish washerwoman —a dame of large experience—for advice. "I'm sure he's dying," wailed the young mother. "Tut, tut, ma'am," replied the washerwoman, looking the infant over. "If that child was ill he wouldn't be so well." That a "Society for the . Protection of Mothers-in-law from alleged Stage Jokes" is threatened in Wellington. The movement received a big push along last week, it is whispered, as the result of the particularly bad run poor old ma-in-law received from vaudeville performers at His Majesty's. No less than four or five artists had alleged jokes to crack at the expense of the sometimes very militant lady, but matters were brought to a climax, we hear, when one comedian sang a song which he called "Don't throw the lamp at your Mother-in-law; it's a,pity to waste the oil."

—That Mother Grundy has fceesc taking a hand in the management of affairs at Manly, Sydney's popular seaside resort. Hence the new nick-name-of Unmanly. That a local draper advertises " Ladies 8 you should see our display of hosiery." Racegoers are satisfied, however, that'it can't equal the lavish display they witnessed as the fair wearers endeavoured to clamber the six-foot corrugated iron fence at the Trentham railway station last Tuesday in order to catch the solitary train back to town, —That a mother of triplets in London has been gravely perplexed in filling out her application for sug^rrations. The names, of the children, had to be given in. the form. She wrote that she could not give their names as they had only been barns. three days previously. The Government officials, however, would not accept the temporary names she supplied, viz., Ooksyickisy," "Poseywosey." and "Diddums-dou 13