Entre Nous.

Free Lance, Volume XV, Issue 795, 24 September 1915, Page 10

Entre Nous.

YOU may rely on it that Briton's jolly Jack Tars are up to alkthe dodges. A letter recently received in Wellington from Gallipoli reveals a very cute little trick one of our submarines successfully played upon the enemy in the Sea of Marmora. It was the submarine that got amongst a Turkish fleet and played Old Harry with it, sending l several gunboats to the bottom. As a ruse the submarine planted an imitation periscope, which it left just showing above the surface. The submarine then dived, and when it returned to the top of the water for a "breather/ 5 the enemy were still blazing away their good ammunition for all they were worth at this dummy periscope. How the crew of the submarine would enjoy the joke!

Despite -the grim, severe nature of the training on hand at the military training camp at Trentham, where raw young New Zealanders are being converted into first-class fighting material, there is occasionally a leavening of humour to relieve the monotony of things. The humour 1 is generally at the expense of the said young raw recruib, who just " "grins and bears it." For instance, the following was the trend of conversation that took place on the mounds between a staff seTgeant-major musketry instructor and a Reinforcement! corporal. Quoth the staff sergeant-major to the corporal: "Why don't you use your brains?" Corporal: "I am using mv brains, ser-geant-major." S.M. : "You say you are using them. Well, if your brains were dynamite and they happened to explode, it would not raise your hair!"

Here is another little camp joke from Trentham. A musketry instructor was explaining the sighting of the rifles to the citizen-soldiers in the making. He was particularly emphasising the ' 'full sight," remarking, "There is only one 'fine sight' in the British Army, and that is two dinners on the one plate.;' Very evident that some of these military instructors, most of them Imperial Army men, are great humourists.

By the way, the mock pass-words amongst the men. at present in camp at Trentham are: "Hold your heads up! : ' "Not a Move!" and -'-'Stand still 1" These are the most repeated orders of the drill instructors. Stated that the recruits after their first fortnight's drilling disturb the stillness of midnight by calling out in their sleep the above dull orders. Sleeping or waking, it seems their minds are steeped in their military training.

There's shrewd common-sense in this from the "Bulletin": —"The 'Bulletin' doesn't suggest •'the persecution of inoffensive Germans, who, to misfortune and ours, happen to be in the Commonwealth during the currency of the war. But it does hold that when the great trouble is ended, neither Germans, Austrians, nor any other foreigners shall be unduly encouraged to settle here. The foreigner who comes to Australia in' future should' understand that he comes on sufferance. If he forges well and good; but he ought not to be given a fraction of an opportunity

to do it at the expense of the Australian or British product. Fifty years of the cold, suspicions exclusiveness, both social and fiscal, which Britain displayed at the beginning of last century, would go towards the making of this young nation."

There is too much flag-waving about some of our alleged patriots and not enough of the practical support to the Empire that counts. For instance, a little bird whispers that one of the speakers at a certain patriotic meeting, assembled to block the importation of the made-in-Germany article, • had occasion not so long ago to send! an order Home for some supplies. The firm in the Old Country replied stating that they could not execute the order _ for three or four months. They explained the difficulty with which Home manufacturers are at present faced, and asked if the buyer would kindly confirm his order. But the local patriot wouldn't or couldn't wait, and Uncle Sam was given the order.

Some Wellington joker has concocted a programme for a "Grand Scherman Concert." The proceeds tor the supposed' concert are for the "Scherman Navy Sinking Fund." Von Kluck is to be the stage manager, and amongst the items set out and duly printed are songs by the Kaiser ("Dey're After Me") and the Crown Prince ("I'm der Softest of der Vamily"). The show that could head its bill with two such notorious star performers would assuredly break all records.

A propos of poison gas and other devilish tricks employed by the Huns, A. A. Roberts, a member of the Society of Chemical Industry, supplies some damning evidence in his work, "The Poison "War." He states that the remarkable thing about the poisoned! shells and bullets is the cunning that has been exercised to conceal the fact that they are poisoned. Our men and the French were being subtly poisoned for some considerable time before the use of the new, form of torture was discovered). The excuse for the use of white phosphorus is that it produces luminous shells —that is, shells that,fired by night, help to reveal the enemy's position. That end could be accomplished without the introduction of poisonous matter, but in selecting the white phosphorus the German experts must have had in view the insidious and deceptive nature of its action upon a human body, thereby rendering it extremely probable that such oases of poisoning would e'*ther be mistaken for symptoms common to wounds in warfare, or pass unnoticed. This phosphor poisoning is extremely difficult to de-

tect. It is seldom used, in this country in attempts at murder or suicide, so that the number of surgeons of the R.A.M.C. who have had actual experience of phosphor poisoning prior to the war must have been very small. A wounded soldier poisoned by a phoshorised bullet or fragments may depart on leave, light-hearted and contented, only to suffer subsequently the miseries of jaundice, with serious kidney and liver disorders, from which he may never recover. It may be mentioned that the suns firing the poisoned shells are inscribed with the motto) "Pro gloria et Patria" (For glory and the . Fatherland), a degrading German touch to a noble phrase.

The following is the war betting —or, rather, the official rates for war risks — in the London insurance world :—- If peace is x declared 1 before September 30 —4 per cent. If peace is declared before December 31—15 per cent. If peace is declared before March 31 —25 per cent. If peace is not declared before March 31—60 per cent. If peace is not declared before December per cent. Against Germany taking Calais before August 30 —20 per cent. Against Germany taking Paris before August 30 —10 per cent. Against Greece declaring war —15 per cent. Against Roumania declaring war —15 per cent. Against Bulgaria, declaring war—ls per cent. Against America declaring war —2 per cent.

From the above it doesn't look as if there is much fear of Uncle Sam throwing the gauntlet down. * * * *

One of the wounded, returned from Gallipoli, is responsible for the_ following : —An Australian horse soldier was jogging along at a slow trot behind the lines one day when a British general appeared. "Good-day, mate,'' was the Australian's greeting to the great man. Latter's dignity was much upset. Quoth he, in fine scorn and no little indignation: "I beg your pardon. Were you ad dressing me, my man?" "What?" asked the Australian. "Were you talking to me, sir?" "Yes," replied the cheerful Tommy. "I was just passing the time of day, mate." This completely flabbergasted the astounded general. He could scarcely restrain < bis indignation. It choked him. _ Raising .his monocle, he gazed through, it at the daring soldier, and, infusing as much contempt as possible into his tone remarked loftily, "Oh, I presume you are one of those Australians." The trooper his right foot out of the stirrup, reached down and lifted the latter to his eye, and, in his best imitative manner rejoined: "An OrstraKan —my colonial oath!"

A Christmas "billy" movement # for the Australian soldier-boys at ..Gallipoli has been initiated in Melbourne. The idea is to obtain 20,000 ordinary tin billies, purchasable at sixpence each. These are to be filled with "something to eat, something to smoke, something to use, and. something- to amuse," and then sent to Australians fighting for their country in the trenches. It is worthy of wide imitation in New Zealand. We commend it to the kind notice of our women.

Constantinople' to-day, according to a recent cabled reoort from an American

correspondent, is the gayest city in Europe. The full l meaning of this report can better he understood when read with the following, the report of a European recently returned from the Porte. He states that just before he left Constantinople shopkeepers there were ordered to surrender their stocks of silk stockings, lace, feminine underclothing, and false hair. These fol-de-rols nresumably are for the benefit )f the families . or female friends of German officers or Committee chiefs. The Turks, he adds, are little consoled by the information that Germany has guaranteed the Porte that England will pay Turkey two thousand' million pounds Turkish out of the war indem-

nity. It is Kaiser "Bill's simple littleway of pulling the Turk's leg.

The competition over our khaki warriors is really getting too keen. A couple of youngsters were the other dayholding a most spirited debate. "Pooh," said one, "my sister's sweetheart's &. soldier, anyway." "What if he is?" retorted the other. "My sister's young., man is a soldier, too!" 6he-added withan emphatic toss of the head. "Well, that's nothink," spoke up No. 1 again, ''my sister's young man was fightin' in." Turkey." "I don't care if he was/' echoed No. 2, "my sister's young manV got all his fingers blown off his hand l — see!" That settled it.

Auckland is the last of the four bigtowns of New Zealand to take tip tieCarnival Queen idea for patriotic purposes, but she is out to break all records. Christchurch set the pace witih a modest £15,000. Wellington knocked" the stuffing out of that record with her£76,ooo. Dunedin put all her bawbeesinto the job, and panned out £125,000, Now the Queen. City has set her heart upon the bun, and declares she won't be happy till she ropes in a cool quarterof a million. Certainly the kick-off hasbeen very willing. The Auckland GasCompany planked down a donation of" £2000, which this wealthy concern "can afford just as easily as a private citizencould part with a nimble shilling.

The Hon. Arthur Myers, M.P., of the National Cabinet, with characteristiogenerosity, threw in another thousand* Wilson's Portland. Cement Company came to life with a thousand, and Wilson, of Wilson and Canham (a Canadianfirm), followed suit. Cecil Whitney (one of the Colonial Ammunition firm} gave an oil launch valued at £350 tobe raffled,, and an open-handed citizen, who won a 65 guinea prize at the Exhibition, offers it as the prize in anotherraffle.

Our forces in Gallipoli know all' aboutrevery ravine and hill in the place, though they may not have, got everywhere yet. This valuable knowledgewas kindly conveyed to them on a large-scale Turkish, map captured fromthe enemy. One part of this useful production—which has been reproducedby the British authorities-—is in thehands of the Minister of Defence. On it is marked the position of every friendly and enemy trench at the Aus-tralian-New Zealand front on July 23rd. Nothing more strikingly illustrates how our gallant fellows were hanging on to their part of the Peninsula only by their eyebrows. A' scale-rule applied to--the map shows that the trench farthest from Anzac Beach was only a thousand' yards off. The total area held by our forces could be measured ofE in acres, though now it can fortunately be counted in miles. Nine ravines running at all sorts of irregular angles, intersected' the original New Zealand front of 2000" yard's. One is named Happy Valley, but some of the -trenches' bear names; more suggestive of the deadly businesswhich took our men to the place. Quinn's Post, a famous fighting spv,t on the right flank, has next to it Bloody Angle and Dead Man's Post. However, the cheerful spirit of Tommy Atkins crops up in the re-christening of a beach backing his lines. It appears on the map as Brighton Beach, reminiscent of a popular English resort for the cheap tripper. Aucklanders will recognise the ox-igin of Plugge's Plateau, reached from Anzac Beach bv MacLaglan's Ridge, and other New Zealand names are to be perpetuated in memory of a gallantry which deserves to be remembered.