AFTERNOON TEA GOSSIP

Free Lance, Volume X, Issue 499, 22 January 1910, Page 21

AFTERNOON TEA GOSSIP

By kittle Miss Muffitt.;

W N up-country editor, who evijpk dently knoiwis very little about cooking, was responsible for the following appearing in his paper last Saturday. It was published under the recipe heading, and was classed as -a recipe for iced sponge cake: ' 'Put -all into ah enamelled pan and boil for eight 'months.' " ■ ' ■ * ■ '* '.» I clipped 'the following advertisement from a recent issue of the "Stage" :—"Wanted, actress' play Suffragette, able slide down thirty dfeet pole.—Apply, Box M. 295." You -se, she, is. at the start, up the pole, .like the rest of them. ■ • . ' • . '. . • » . The family at a Wellington suburban. Thome originally had a tank attached I>o their residence,' and the tap was let in through the wall. Recently, they uhad a high pressure outfit erected. Xiittle four-year-old Willie was away at the time the change was made, and -when he came home th© first thing he missed was the tank, which had been . removed. , However, the tap was in the same place, .and Willie tried it. "The water came on just as before. This puzzled him greatly. First he would try the tap. and then run out to see where the water cam© from. He. •seemed beaten completely. At last a smile came on his face, and he rushed up to dad, and exclaimed: "I say, dad, the jolly old tap doesn't know the -tank's gone yet! 5 ' » -<■•■_ • The tomato sauce season is eyidentvly. already in, full swing in Wellington, -though I thought the luscious fruit . was too expensive yet for sauce-mak-ing. However, I overheard the following bit of dialogue on the tram -the other day. First gentleman: — "My wife has* put tip sixty-four bottles •of tomato sauce this week." Second .gentleman : "Sixty-four bottles! That's a lot for one family, isn't it?"' "For -one family, yes. But, of course, my -wife has to supply, all the neighbours ■with samples." ' . ' Wellington society is tittering very -considerably' just now over the . distinctly mal a" propos observation made by a certain lady "who tries to "put on style" to .some extent. This lady. It is said, did hot always enjoy -the present luxurious state and ,prominence, and her friends are fre--quentlv amused by the mistakes • she -falls into. The other day someone Ventured to remark to her that Mr. So-and-so was a very bellicose- man. 'The lady's eyes fairly 'bulged with as:i tonishment, as she said-: "You don't -bell me!" she exclaimed. . "Of course, not having met him. I couldn't say. "But.l thought from' his picture that he •was very thin!" . * •;•»'■■•:•• «■ The disadvantages at which a- nonconformist boy may be placed, especa-' ally when he's a country boy. and ■comes into a. large city. Simday-school, •were made manifest at Newtown last Sunday" afternoon.- A boy from up Eketahuna wav, who was spending has holidays in town, aooeared with his city cousin at the Anglican Suudayscnool. During the progress of the lesson the asked the ,b°y & very simple question. But • the r lad. Tvent rieht astray on ; it. "What is the collect?" asked the teacher. The "boy ap-pears to. have confused it with the colic, for he briskly replied: "It's another name for pain in your stoan*aeh!" •■.':•■■' * >•.■'-.; The storv is being told with some considerable relish up Grreytown way that a lady on a recent Saturday ordered some caracul coats to. be. '3ent up to heir residence "on appro." .She returned them on the Monday following as bein£ all unsuitable. The next morning she received back Jzea: prayer-book, which had■ been found inthe pocket of one of the coats! ■•.'•, * .: * One of the Plunket nurses is telling a rather good story of her Wellington , experiences just now. Some considerable time ago ■ she was summoned ' to a house in one of our suburbs, and, after helping them in their time of .need—they were: a poor famaly—-she took rather a liking to the mother. Occasionally she would call, and _inquire after the family health. She made one. of these calls one day last', week, and asked how the family were progressing. "Thank you. mum..

we're all pretty well, except poor Jimmy here, and oh, he's got such a bad cough! It sounds just like a hempty barrel I" Then, turning to Jimmy: "Here, Jimmv cough for the lady!"