Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume X, Issue 477, 21 August 1909, Page 20

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

A TEACHER at one of out publio schools in Wellington! received the following peculiarly worded note last week, and passed it <m to me: — "Dear teacher. — Kindly excuse John's absence from school yesterday afternocn, as he fell in the mud. By doing the same you will greatly obllige hits mother." • • • She lives at Island Bay, and she had' often intended to call upon her old friends, the Tebbutts, and last Wednesday she did so, but she is in doubt now as to whether she ought to go again. Her welcome was warm enough, but on leaving her hostess said cheerily: "Come and see us again, just as you did to-day — without being invited." Her impression is, however, t**at the good lady didn't mean to put i& quite in that way. * « • I thought it was such an unkind remark when I heard jit in the Aro-sfarceft tram the other evening. Chi© smartly-

dressed young fellow was seated in a corner of the car, reading his paper. At the Aro^street stopping place anothei gent'ernan entered, clad in the latest cut of tailoring and orthodox striped socks. They shook hands, and the new-comer said: "So our friend Arthur has mariied his ideal), eh?" And the other person said : "WelSt, knowing what I do of Kitty, I should say that she'! prove Arthur's ordeal 1' They were at a dance in the Sydneystieet schoolroom the other evening. He was a rather fine-looking young fellow, not long out from Home. But, wfoem he came up to speak to theM.O. he had a perplexed look on his face. "That's a singular name that young Jladjy has. The one you introduced me to just now — Miss Postscript'" And the M.C. said: "Oh, that was merely a slip of the tongue, old chap ! It's very funny, though. That's only a nickname her girl friends have given her. Her real name is Adeline More!" The air in ih( home at Thorndon had been electrical far hours. Father's dinnei had been ill-cooked, aoid he had 'let, out" about it. The wife was trying to pour oil on the waters. She said: "Jolra, dear, I've just been roading an article on electricity, and it afppea.rs that before long we shall be able to get pretty weill everything we want by just touobing a button." "You'd never be alble to get anything that way I" "Why not, John?' And John, the brute, said: "Oh, because nothing o*n earth would ever make you touch a button. Look at my shirt!' • • » 1 don't know even now what the lady was calling at the house for, but as I passed along Roxburgh-street one day last week I couldn't help over-

hearing this Little bit of dialogue: — It was the domestic speaking to a oaJHer. "My mistress isn't a* home, ma'a/ml" "Oh, indeed! ' was the sweetllly earoasbo response. "Will you plea®© tell her that when I saw hei peeping from the «ront window as I came up I fettt very much afraid she was I" The servamt-giirl rediywus. They v\ere aiguing the point about servantgirJ&' references at a, certain afternoon tea last week, and on© lady related an unusual experience. She told the story < f an impudent maid who came to sek a situation. The self -possessed young woman produced Her references, amd the lady of the horns© said "Your inferences are far from satisfactory." The maid replied: "References go for httle now-a-days. Youirts were no gocd, but I thought I'd try you." ■» * * As an instance of the retort cruel, the "cut" s.tia,ight. or the 'turn-down" dniect, commend me to the following, }Vhich was told to me last week as having occurred in our own city. They had been very close friends, he and she. So close, indeed*, that folk hiad been expecting to hear of the betrotliat. However, lately they have drifted apart. On Tuesday evening of last week they met at a private dance. The meeting was not without some slight embarrassment. But, lie showed omirage first, and' said "You were very pix>udi last night on the Quay. You wouldn't recognise me. I saw you twice'" And slhe said- "Oh' Then that accounts for it! I never do (recognise people in that condition!" • * The boy terror was in evidence at a certain, highly respectable home at the Thomdon end last Friday evening. His

parents had invited some friends to dine, among them being a well-known ci/fcy clerk, who was understood to be payir.g some considerable attention to tihe young hopeful's sister. The dferk took the incorrigible on his knee. Durmg a lull in the conversation the young hoppfu'l suddenly yelled out: "Mr. Brown, is I as heavy as sister??" And no one seemed to hear him! The fair younig Wellington, girl, just blossoming into hei teens, stood in the doorway of the parental home one day last week, with one hand on the knob. "Papa, dear," she said, "do you know what I'm goooicg to buy you this year for a birthday present?" "No, daring," said) papa, looking up from his papers. "Wihat?" "Please, papa," answered the little maid, "a pretty new china shaving-mug, with gold flowers on it." "But,"' said the fond parent, "papa has a nice one like that alieady, dear — a very handteome one!" 'Oh, no, he hasn't!" replied tihe Ittlte gwl "I've just dropped it!" She had done her best to break it gently, at any rate. • • . The folk in his little country town grt a lather strong joke off on the onJy policeman at a Wairarapa townr sJiiip the other day. Said policeman, being assured of a nice comfortable living, and set ing the coast clear ahead of him, so to speak — though a coast is surely a strange fining to see in. a countfcry town — took unto himself a wi£<? He repaired to the church for the ceremony, and the parson spoke the necessary words. But, on the way home to the wedding breakfast as the bridal carriage drove through the town an amused crowd read this notice on the carriage: "Handcuffed for life— with no reprieve !"