"GOING HOME" FOR NEW ZEALAND. Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume IX, Issue 455, 20 March 1909, Page 9

"GOING HOME" FOR NEW ZEALAND.

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

WEDDING invitations appear to be taking a much more simple form now - a -days. Here is one that has reached me from a Southern town: — "You are invited to attend the marriage of Mr. Jones and Miss Smith at the house of the bride's mother. All who cannot come may send." No, it wasn't Dunedin, though I admit the last sentence does sound slightly Scotch. * TV *• They are saying of an AustraJaan girl who married m England- "She married that funny little foreigner because he was a Count, and now he doesn't." I notice that a London fashion writer, in describing the probable changes in fashion with the coming English spring, writes: — "The waist is slowly creeping down." It is a mere man who observes that "the young gentlemen may still be trusted to locate it to a nicety." • • -* One of the Penguin's survivors was telling for the 501 st time the story of his escape from a watery grave. "It was blowing hard when we ran out of port," he had observed. It was a languid masher, paying a divided attention, who took advantage of his pause for breath to remark sympathetically : "But I suppose you had some sherry or something else to po on with, eh?" * • • The Rev. F. G. Evans lias tiavelled much, is a shrewd observer, ?nd akeen mani of business. He attended a meeting of the New Plymouth G-olf Club the other afternoon, and made a great fighting speech in favour of mixed foursomes. His reason is, of course, the best of reasons. By the way, I notice that the New Plymouth paTsons have been kept very busy with marriages lately. Is the Golf Club responsible ? • • • He was a Newtown pastor until quite recently. He has now gone North But when he returned from a trip to England the other day he gave his congregation a lecture on his travels Growing enthusiastic on the sights he had seen, he said: "Yes. my friends, I have seen some spectacles that ono could never forget." At the conclusion! of the address an old lady pushed her wav up to him from the audiencp. "I wish you would tell me where I could get a pair of those spectacles you told us about," she said. "I'm al<ways losing mine!" • • • A luckless Chinaman, who had been robbed by a woman in one of our cities the other day, was trying his best to describe the thief at the police station. "Can't you remember how she was dressed?" asked the sergeant at the desk. "What sort of a hat did she wear?" For a moment John seemed puzzled. Then his face brightened. "He dead — she plad!" he confidently announced. It was the police official's turn to look -puzzled. But they went out afterwards to look tor a woman with a "Merry Widow" hat on. * * * The fame of the Otira tunnel has reached even unto the Land of Wooden. Nutmegs. A gentleman in the South Island has been favoured with an ordea from one of the big pictorial papers or New York for photos of "the great tunnel connecting the two islands of New Zealand." As the Hon. Charlie Mills has not said a word yet about a tunnel to connect Picton with Titahi Bay, it must be the Otira that is meant. • • • He came on board the Day's Bay boat on Sunday last in style that would have made Solomon m all his glory talk of "vanity." He is about twenty-three years of age, and wore a brown suit, a pale green hat, heliotrope shirt, bright green tie, golden yellow boots, brightly-striped socks, and on his wirist was a gold bangle. Of course, he wore a gold ring. Probably, he desires to set the fashion for Wellingtonj, this youth. A positive thrill passed through the "Duchess" as he stepped on board, at any rate, but the crowd in the vicinity all laughed heartily when someone who knew him said: "Hello, Percy, where have you been? Why, you're got up like a sixpenny lunch to-day 1"

Even, the great W. T. Stead can make awful whoppers in his writing apparently. For instance, I notice in a recent "Windsor Magazine" that W. T. Stead writes "The most eloquent English orators have nearly all been Irishmen, although some have been Scotchmen." He nearly boxes the compass in this instance. * * * It is not generally known, perhaps, that the Teddy bear craze owed its origin to President "Teddy" Roosevelt. In Atlanta, Georgia, the other day, Mr. Taft, the new American President, was entertained at a "possum banquet." One hundred were consumed. Incidentally, this "possum banquet" marks the passing of the Teddy bear, which has been the greatest American toy during Mr. Rooseyelt's regime, in favour of the "Billy possum." We shall be on, the watch for the coming of the 'possum now. * ♦ * One is constantly coming across curious advertisements in our daily papers, and sometimes it looks as though they have been faked to attract notice. > But I came across one lust week in a Northern paper which looks genuinplv funny. It had to do with a poulterer's business, and set out that: "W* 1 can.

•now supply direct from the farms reliable eggs for hatching poultry, pigeons, and rabbits." That is just how it was punted and punctuated. If that poulterer has really made the discovery which is hinted at in the advertisement, the rabbit pest will be a thing of the past very soon.

At the Hastings Band Ccntest the Petone Citizens' Band, which was first in the giand aggregate, and winners of the B Grade Section,, secured the gold and silver medals offered for the latter achievmeent. The band plays Hawkes Excelsior Sonorous Instruments, a.nd is under the conductorship of Lieut. Herd. The Manaia Municipal Band was particularly successful foir a young combination, being placed third on the list for the second night's playing. This band also plays Hawkes models. Mr. A. Gunner, winner of the Eb bass solo, secured his win on a Hawkes Eb bass. All these instruments were supplied by the Dresden Piano Company, Limited, who are Hawkes sole agents for the Dominion. Guard 1 your anaemic young daughter against future ill-health by building up her strength to the normal condition of youthful vigour. Steams' Wine will do it — has done it for millions. — ivdvt.