It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume IX, Issue 455, 20 March 1909, Page 22

It is Town Talk

— That the chicken-hearted man is sometimes inclined to crow. — That you may take it for granted [that a woman, is never younger than she says she is. That a man committed suicide in Australia the other day in a vat of molasses. A syruptitious end. — That everyone is asking who frightened' Mt. Ronayne in the Addiaigton inquiry business. Was it "Tommy" Taylor? — That some headmasters don't like their juniors catching the glare of military parades,, hence the anti-cadet moyement. And there's something in this rumour. — That tlie inquiry iruto the wreck of the Forest Hall makes lively reading, and tends to show there were plenty of jolly tars on board. Also, that they lost their log. — That the appointment of Mr. Maughan BaTinett as permanent city organist for Wellington is very generally approved. It is a wise and commendable move. —That the Wellington Lib.-Labs. are about to try a resurrection, act. They are streets behind Auckland in the "active membership" department. Why is this tßus? — That the Savages and singers gen, erally in Wellington, will miss the genial P, Hockley sadly;. His little shivoo on Friday evening last was tinged with sadness. — That the Timaru girl who was passed out because she was "too quiet" came up with a rattle at the breach-of-promise hearing. Probably, the luckloss youth has reversed his decision by now. That the enormous catch of wharehou off Pencarrow on Sunday and Monday (well over 50 tons) won't make fish the least bit cheaper for the local 1 consumer. Fish simply won't sink — in price.

— That the man who is "speechless" if often the one who kicks up all the row. — That a city chemist is advertising a "painless" corn cure. What we're out aiter is a "painful" corn cure. — That housewives and boardinghouse keepers who want a good recipe for a "hash*' could probably get one. from Mr. Ronayne — That Tom Wilford as a spokesman for the trades unionists is a new departure. But then, Tom could fill' any role from mayor to labour deputationist with ease and credit. — That the ChristchuTch hairdresser who sold bay ram as whisky to a couple of thirsty souls last week is on the fair way to make his pile. He's got the gift for raking in, cash. — That a Bunny and a Hawthorn are out for the Hutt mayoralty. The thorn wanted to prick the bunny at Monday night's meeting, but the chairman didn't "foster" the idea. — That the Saturday half-holiday is going to be "the" burning question at the mayoral and municipal elections. The selection of Wednesday would not make any change in existing arrangements. — That, up to date, the Addiogton enquiry hasn't proved' the existence of any loafing worth a four-line paragraph at the Government workshops. The system is being slowly perforated, however. — That a bomb has been found in the office of "The Englishman" newspaper et Calcutta. Well, what of that? Aren't bombs and thunderbolts part of the office furniture in every editorial sanctum ? — That the supporters of the "little doctor" are confidently predicting that Wellington is bound to have a "new man" this year for its mayor. Mr. Tom Wilford has also consented to stand, and, as the retiring mayor is also a Tom, his song is sure to be "Tommy make room for your uncle." — That a dreadful discovery has been made by the Rev. C. Smith (Anglican clergyman) at Otaki. He is painfully struck with the deplorable fact that the corpses in the cemetery are not laid to rest in the eastward position. WiH Bishop Neligan, of Auckland, kindly note? Here is another positive _ proof for him of New Zealand's paganism. — That the Rev. C. Smith doesn't seem to be harrowed by any concern) for the unfortunate drowned. Will it matter to them_ if they don't occupy an eastward position?

— That a man isn't necessarily twofaced because he has a double-chin. — That, although courtesy is generally said to foe an asset, it is, in reality, often a lie-ability. — That it's a wicked world, but it's a hard job to find a bishop who is anxious to get out of it. — That the best nfle-shots are men with narrow faces. Ask ex-champion W. H. BaLLinger about it. — That, as a result of the ousting of the clairvoyants from Melbourne and Sydney, Wellington seems to be reaping an abundant harvest of them. — That it is high time "sweating" in the Fire Brigade was enquired into. The firemen seem to be always at it lately. They're hot on the business. — That there are a few enterprising young ladies in Wellington who are seriously thinking of taking Tip dentistry as a profession. Would the mere men show their teeth? — That, judging from Mr. Hoggs firmness with the trades unionists, the Minister for Labour will not require all the watching which the Farmers' Union thought he would need. —That the W.C.T.F. Conference, which opened yesterday, is going to give the subject of "narcotics" a warm time this afternoon. Smokers, put that in your pipe and smoke it. — That one of the laws to be framed! for observance by aeroplane flyers wfll deal ivith the question of articles dropped from aeroplanes and balloons. Anything heavier than a passenger will be barred. — That a stream of gold is flowing into the Empire City this week. The tradesmen and shop-keepers are eagerly waiting for *the cutting up of that quai*ter-of-a-millaon Manawiatu Railway dividend. — That the champion athletes didn't athlete much at the Basin Reservelast Saturday. Wherefore, public disappointment was general. However, colds and other maladies were unavoidable conflicting elements. — That the Wellington Trades and Labour Council are trying to prevail upon the Government to pull down "the cowshed," a/nd build a railway station at Thorn don. Said Council have grown reasonable at last. — That at a recent fire a young lady was seen walking about in all the glory of her night attire, jealously guarding a hat box. It subsequently transpired that the only thing she had saved from the flames was her brand-new hat.

— That it's going to take more than' Long Tom to fire Harle Giles from thecanciliatMxni Oommissioinership. — That the secret ballot is a godsend. to some men. They can always boast that they voted for the successful' candidate. — That Mr. P. J. O'Regan. lias broken out in a new place. He is scribbling on the Midland railway now. Versatilitythy name is O'Regan! — That to challenge Ministerial nilings appears to be the order of -the day now with the workers. And the Ministers simply keep on ruling. — That the special committee of theCity Council are going to bring down a scheme for a pure milk supply at the next meeting. This is a definite hm* at the millennium. — That the Petone Citizens' Band is wailing just now over the departure of" its best trombone, S. Walling, for Australia. His farewell tune was "Some Day I'll Wander Back Again.." — That the Hutt Valley is sufferingf rom a strong over-dose of local government. With fewer fal-de-lals in. the way of local bodies the people would' ge^ far greater value for their money. — That the Sydney parson who,, on being married to a young lady last week, presented her wit!h a silver sewing set, sho-weif considerable thrift. The bride ought to be well l versed in the"stitch in time" proverb. — That the Christchuroh subscription for Mrs. Hannam the only woman survivor in the Penguin wreck, realised) the total of £3 lls. Obviously Christchurch can. give Wellington several points in the tight money business — and a beating! — That New Zealand is making hasteto be a treeless country by cutting and burning down, her standing timber as fast as she can. Switzerland, oni theother hand, is doing her best to plant trees. She has planted forty million in tie last seven years. — That the Wellington Navals' ri&& shooting on Saturday proved a boom for the winner. For the third time in succession Gammer Boon, carried off the company belt and medal. He also gets a three-legs-in trophy. Gunner Day was runner-up; it wasn't his day out!

Thin, pale, bloodless women need Steams' Wine to make new blood and [restore strength. Does as much good as ood liver oil and) iron and tastes like the finest old port. — Advt.