SOME CITY COUNCILLORS. AND A WAINUI-O-MATA PICNIC.

Free Lance, Volume VIII, Issue 402, 14 March 1908, Page 7

SOME CITY COUNCILLORS. AND A WAINUI- O-MATA PICNIC.

THERE were indications at last that the piotracted drought was at an end. Captain, Edwin had given up prophesying. The Kairori prophet had resigned has portfolio and retired into private life somewhere in the vicinity of the crematorium site. The barometers were 'rising, and everyone was stirring about town without an umbrella. With these conditions, admittedly favourable to heavy ram, the city councillors undertook their annual picnic visit to the Wamui-o-mata reservoir and district last week. They travelled in state by brake, and a dozen cabs followed behind, and as they broke away from the Town Hall quite a. muster of small boys, who had fore-gathered to caive andi plane and chisel and hammer at the Technical School, broke into lusty cheeiing. These young Wellingtonaans wexe not slow to recognise true greatness. As a matter of tact the Lance artist was on board, though someone suggested tthat they were cheering Dorry .Leslie, wlio sat m state and uniform on the box seat of the turn-out. • • • However, the consensus of opinion is against the latter theory, especially as a party of civilians further along the road identified Dorry as a warder in charge of a gang of prisoners. It has been rumoured about town that some of the councillors proposed taking action against the pedestrian* who set them down as prisoners. But on reflection., it has been conceded that they might easily have been* mistaken for tree planters, or market gardJeniexs, under the Sir Joseph Ward Anti-Chin-ese Vegetable Producers' Act, 1908. The judgment of the wayfarers was arrived at in ignorance, and is therefore to be overlooked, an apology meeting the case. Besides, Has Worship the Mayor being absent firom the brake, the mistake was the more pardonable. * • • The drive out along the Hutt-road was fresh and bracing. The sea breeze at Kaiwarra was bke manna to the hungry soul, whdst the ozone at Ngahawranga was like champagne. Councillors took deep draughts at it, a>nd even the horses were observed to stagger as though drunken, with excess ot the rarer atmosphere of this popular suburb. Nothing of particular incident occurred along the route unt 1 the Wainui hills were leached.

Those who had travelled in the cabs had got there first, and having left the cabs to go up ihiJl alone, lightened of the load of intellect and avoirdupois tissue, they had reached the summit. The brake lumbered up heavily. It was well loaded. • • • Idj addition to other goods and chattels on board, there was a collection of bottled beverages. Now it seemed to us that the officials concerned in this incident had regard to the horses' comfort. There is a divine precept, at any rate, to the effect that "a righteous man regardeth the life of has beast." And when, these officials broached the ship's cargo, and made an "Old Bull and Bush" of the spot, they may have been tempering the

load for the poor dumb brutes. However, aaud be that as it may, in order to report faithfully <m the matter we are bound to say that some of those Sreseinit resented the attack on the anonade, or something (we faacy it was something). Even Dorry Leslie

was shocked. No one else appeared to have thought of it. By the tune of our arrival at the picnic grounds all the climatic indications of the eaily morning had fulfilled themselves, and it lamed glonously. "The three-foot level," which had absoabed half the society talk of Welhngton for the past four weeks, began to take o<n a n«w interest, and an early tnp was made to the reservoh to inspect th-e dam position,. But it was interesting to observe' that councililiois did not m the least mind the rain They rather revelled m it. • • • Councilor Mindoch, the patriarch of the company, stood and contemplated the scene through the gently-pattering rain, and smiled over the prospect.

With his flowing locks sweeping from under his up-to-date cap, his Chesterfield overcoat on, and a happy face, he looked across the water as he blew clouds of light blue from his cigar against a leaden: sky. We suspect the Cigar was an orphan. At any rate, -none of its brothers or sisters came our way. • • • Councillor McLaren had a day out. He was in rare fo.rm, and we saw the tails of his claw-hammer coat gliding in and out amongst the forest foliage as though they had discovered the secret of perpetual motion. The idea

that Councillor McLaren is in training for the next athletic championship meeting lacks confirmation, so we understand, and Kerr is safe so: far as the councillor is concerned. It is believed, however, that the divine afflatus, or words to that effect, got hold of Mr. McLaren that day, so that he made some particularly fine speeches to a patient and liTuberestmg audience of tree* TT ~ also improved his appetite wonderfully. • • • Councilk>.r Shirtcliffe went omit m his motor car. Wineih leads us to the conclusion that the only living beings who are fond of motor cars «und petrol are saaidfhes. They gave Gouincillor

Shirtchffe no end of a good time. They are fo.nd of the ladies also, and all the newspapers handy were speedily requisitioned by the ladies to wrap around their ankles as a kind of sheet ajimorur. Even them we •understainid that the said sandflies bored) through the "Post" with ease, pumcttuired the "Dominion," and knocked the "Times" out of time. Latest was that some of the beasts got impaled upon a Lance, and passed out. But Councillor Shirtcliffe did a very fine sword dance ( without the swords), which he followed later with a varied Highland fling. He is understood to have accompanied this daauce in haka style, with running ejaculations in Germa.n, Italian, and Russian). Later he retired in his car.

There was a stampede wlien the bell jang for lunch, and the tent .ropes T\eie nearly earned away. The appetites developed throughout the day were piodigious. In fact the unseemly sci amble aiound the tent door certainly lent colour to the idea that some of the party had purposely

starved ihemselves for days in anticipation of this feast. Eeither that, or the Ngahauranga air was .responsible for it. Possibly the latter theory is the correct one. • • • In the absence of His Worship the Mayor, who had had breakfast, Councillor Luke presided at the banquet.

We had almost written "over the banquet.' But our artist's picture would give us a flat contradiction on that point. Councillor Luke looked well m a nicely-starched and ironed serviette. His hair was done up ala mode, and he was supported by edibles and drinkables ad libitum. Consequently he spoke well. • • * But Councillor Smith, who appeared to be rising above metre trifles at this feast of reason and flow of soul, told the history of the waterworks of the world from tlhe time the first sod was turned whach let the rivers Euphrates and Tigris run through the Garden of

Eden. We understand thajt Councillor Smith can. trace his geauealogy distinctly back to Adam, who. was am esteemed member of his family. Farther back than that he as not clear on his ancestry. One thing certain is that a Smith was employed mi the building of the Ark, and afterwards engineered the waterworks at Ararat. « ft • No man put in a more self-secrificing and useful day than, Ooiuaicilloir Hindmarsh. He spent the day in rowing ladies all over the dam. He secured the use of the dam boat as soon as he arrived, and then let into the business of ferryman. There are two theories current with regard to his day's pastime. One is that he is compilfcnig a useful wo.rk on the "displacement of variously-freighted boats in fresh water as against the sea." It was noticeable that he selected variously proportioned ladies as his passengers,

and that he seemed to be experimenting with the draught of his skiff. The other theory is that he is going to challenge the winner of the Webb-

Ainst scullmg match, and has gone into vigorous tramang at one©. ■ • * Another man who spent an indifferent day was Councilloir Morrah. Of course, Councillor Morrah is a married man. This means that he is a man

weie many ladies, and many bulrushes, and betoie the noonday halt was called — ay, long before^ the time, Councillor Morrah could have told you how many bulrushes went to' make the ark for Moses, o.r how Miriam probably cut them 101 the ancient Hebrew mother along the banks of the Nile. It is commonly reported that Councillor Mor.rah is contemplating a work cm "Bulrushes and Frogs; with a Special Treatise on Municipal Picnics." • • • Councillor Fisher was present, and was in going order. The soda water at the luncheon was probably overproof. Our leason for this can/jeoture is in, the fact that, as everybody knows, Councillor Fisher is like Moees (before-mentioned) slow of speech. It ■takes a lot to get him going. But on this occasion he got going. He went. He's a very fair speaker om some subjects, especially jf he can get his

hand into his pocket. Wonderful how that helps him to talk. Councillor i< isher took this Liberty at the picnic, and told a stoiy of a visit of some Japanese officers to the Wainlui-o-mata. According to. Councillor V lsher (and we understand he vouches ror it), these Eastern officers went in spic and span at one ,end of the tuin,nelj and a coroner's jury was set up at the other end to try and identify them. Said jury failed, and the whole box and dice of them w<sre sent back to. Japan for special fcreatanemt and re-classification. That's as near as we could take down Councillor Fisher's report. The moral of the story is that you can't eat mud without becoming ill. • • • The curtain of nigiht fell upon a regrettable sight. We were ready to start for home, and the foaming steeds with bloodshot eyes amd nostrils distended were headed for Ngahaoiranga and home, when Coiuncillor Hales was

espied "legging it out" for a cab. He was the one deserter of the party, and his action was tihe cause of a good deal of lamentation anid woe amongst the picnickers. There were tears of fair women, and chagrin of brave mem. However, Councillor Hales is a free agenit, and from our point of view if he chooses to hail a cab and' travel that way that's his affair — so long as the ratepayers don't have to make it good. So far we have not heard that Councillor Hales has succumbed to an attack of conscience.