All Sorts Of People

Free Lance, Volume V, Issue 247, 25 March 1905, Page 3

All Sorts Of People

l/g** OOD stories about the late Mr. fi George Fisher are abundant. VJ and by the &arne token none better loved a good story than George himself. Here is a sample one which dates back to the time when George « a "Hansard" ieporter. One afternoon he was unusually late for duty, and the chief reportei had gone into the gallery to take up George's turn. It was a bad turn from the whip of the House, and the lest of the staft expected squalls when the chief should emerge from the gallery. Hie future idol of the people alone was unconcerned. At last the chief appeared, a look of thunder on his brow. Gecwge waltzed up cheerfuLly "I'm glad to tell you, sir, it's a boy." Instantly the storm cleared. There were congratulations all round, and not a word about that late turn. It was years afterwards, and only when Mr. Fisher himself told the story with great gusto, that the "Hansard" chief found out that the boy was merely a flight of the imagination. . * * • * i/£nother story which Mr. Fisher used to tell with great unction related to an Irishman's recital of "The Burial or bir John Moore." Its point lay in the brogrue _for the late member for Wellington was a great mimic— arid more especially in the phrasing"They buried him darkly at dead of night — the sods" And the indignant emphasis which was laid on "the sods" never failed to bring down the house. * ■* ■*■ that's become of Felix Tanner, the pride of the ocean? At Lyttelton a chart and other priceless gems, token from the "Ark," await him. These valuable relics 'cannot be sent to Felix, because no one knows where he is. v ~Th ake the bookmaker, used to be the most familiar of figures on the big racecourses of New Zealand. His tall personality, clad in a suit of well-tailored light tweed, with long frock-coat, and the glossiest of bell-toppers, was unmistakable. But, still more uiimibtakable was the pose of his head inclined to one shoulder as if he sufferer! from a perpetual kink in the neck. A propos of that, a funny story used to go the rounds, and it had the merit of being true. In the old days of crying the odds, Drake was paiaduig up and down the saddling paddook as the Dunedin Cup horses were being saddled) up. and yelling out at the tooj of his voice "I lay, I lay, I lay!" "What will you lay?" yelled out a bucolic visitor. "Anything you like," replied Drake, coming to attentaon. "Then lay your head on the other shoulder, old hoss' was the instant retort. * * * The incident is called to mind now by mention in the Westrahan papers the other day that A. Drake was fined £10 for selling liquor 33.4 diegrees below proof. Wonder if this can be the aforesaid Drake of book-making fan*? Several years ago he was running the Metropolitan Hotel, at Auckland). Ho sodd out and> went away, and, accorcing to later reports, was- hotel-keeping in Perth, and making money fast. \\ looks like it. In Westralia, of course it is almost a criminal offence to se.l liquor under proof. They like to ccclc eel it bite all the wav down.

vMr. Hamilton Hodges, who came down to Wellington last week-end to lift up his voice as a minstr&l boy in honour of St. Patrick, dropped- in to tell us a few things about Alf. Hill's new opera. You remember Alf., of course, with his nice back hair, his musical enthusiasm, his charmns; songs, his "Hinemoa" and his "Tapu," and the zeal with which some years ago he worked up the Wellington Orchestral Society to the bop-notch of efficiency. He is established now m Auckland, and is busy preparing for the stage his very latest opera, which, until a better title is thought of, i* called "The Riffians." \Mv. Hodges informs us it is going to make a tiemendou*> "hit" in Auckland. The best amateur and professnonial talemt 1s 1 engaged, and a chorus of sixty voices is in full swing, while His Majesty's Theatre has been engaged for a season, starting on 19th June. The librettist' — an Auckland pressman — has gone to Morocco for his scenes and characters. Zara, the> lovely chieftauiess of a band of brigands is so impressed WLth the daring deeds of a Moorish prince who fights againisit her band that she falls m love with him. Gastro, the prince's steward, and chief comedian, passes himself off as the pmrcJe, and man les Zara . But divorce is easy in Morocco- — there is a funny chaiacter always crying out the ratesi — and, after a great coil of humorous misadventures and cross-purposes the real prince comes to light, and settles the band by wedding its head. ■/■*¥■ Madame Lilian Tree, Mrs. Ernest Davis (better known as Miss Manon Mitchell, of Pollard fame), and Miss Margot Somerset, a new contralto who has recently arrived in Auckland from Melbourne, take the leading femunme paits. Mr. George Warren (known in Wellington) has the part of Gastro, which keeps him on the stage nearly the whole course of the two acts, Mr. Hamilton Hodges, who won't need to paint his face, has a fine rollicking part of Elferino, lieutenant of the band of brigands, and Barry Coney, who was in one of the banks m Wellington some years ago, has also got a congenial part. At present a tenor is wanted, and they have got their eyes both on Ted Hill and Frank Graham, who assisted at the last Wellington festival. Mr. Hodges speaks in high terms of the newopera. It is replete with pretty and taking songs, duets, and larger concerted numbers, and is strong i,n capital choruses. v Vice-Admiral Fanshawe's father, who is also an admiral, is upwards of ninety, and there is an old sea-dog up North who, when he heard that "j'oung Fanshawe" was in port, let it become publicly appaient that he had served under his father. Anyhow, "young Fanshawe" dug the veteran tar out, and a-sked' him if he'd just drop along and crack a bottle The old A.B. was theiefore the guest of His Excellency, and he's throwing a forty-eight inch chest out in the stieets of Auckland at this moment. Likewise he^s had a gilt frame made for the champagne — cork. 1/Tom" Long, who doesn't mind giving a man a "drop" as long as he gets an occasional one of a djffeient kind himself, receives, £25 per head for what he calls- ''operat.nig." But, the authorities, who know '"Tom," don't hand him the cash m one heap. They simply give him £2 down, and the rest is foiwardedl to the police where, for the time being, Mr. Long is pursuing his avocation other than "operating." He turns up with great frequency until the £25 is exhausted 1 altogether. Tom t-m'b quite the person we would care to make a bosom companion of, and it is the greatest condemnation of the system of legal slaying thait only men whose moral sense is quite blighted can be found to mete out "justice" of the kmd.

Alfred Shrubb, the champion longdistance runner of the world, has some difficulty in lunning fast enough, to get quit of the crowd's of athletes, pressmen, and mayors who pursue him and endeavour to spoil him for lacing. Still, except for a palpable weariness, the small tobacconist from Horsham, in Sussex, puts a ■smiling face on these ordeals, and even whistles a tune now and again. Mayor Artken and a crowd of less celebrities welcomed Shrubb and his American companion, Duffev. on Tuesday, at the Town Hall, and they are now free to wander at large over Wellington and admire its lions. * * * Shrubb is about five feet five and ahaltf inches in height, and weighs nine stone twelve pounds. He is very light in the legs ,and doesn't show any biawny conformation. Quiet in demeanoui, and good-looking, the champion runner tells us that although we are the seventh pressman who has worried him since he got up, he doesn't mind informing us that he has been running for seven yeais, and that he doesn't tackle anything under a mile, and runs up to eleven miles. He drinks beer or anything he fancies, eats heartily, and canters> a mile and a-half oi two miles a day to keep fit. * +• * ' Shrubb is quite satisfied that the Australian climate all but killed him, and he likes the New Zealand climate, which is good for him. He> asserts he would never have been beaten in New Zealand but for the illness— gastric influenza — he contracted m Australia, and he only raced heie to keep his appointments and 1 prevent public disappointment. He us not in the least distant as were the English footballers, mamly, we suppose, because he belongs to a different set. He does not' go m for any other form of sport than, longdistance running, and isn't very sure whether he will strike his real form in this country. Arthur Duffey, the sprinter from Noo Yark, isn't a typical Yank. He is slightly taller than. 1 his long-distance mate, and very much stouter, weighing probably about ten and a-half stone or eleven stone. He is as fair as Shrubb is dark. He didn't know he could sprint until a few years ago, when he played school base-ball. His form between bases struck his schoolmates, and when he began to take to sprinting seriously he wore down all opposition. When the nuggetty little man is> not running he is employed commercially in a New York office. His very frequent visits to England during the last five years have familiarised him with British s-ports and he is of opinion that there are no cleaner or honester sports than his. cousin Britishers. Like his mate, he is pleased with New Zealand, and also, like him, complains of the Australian sun-handicap. He speaks a od word for New Zealand spoil ts, and delights m the freedom of intercourse and 'hail-fellow-well-metship," as he calk it, of the people in these far lands. j^Tommy" Taylor told the Woolston people he never indulged in personalities, and they laughed like anything. T.E. said the laugh indicated that they got their impressions from newspaper accounts, for he never resorted to personalities "unless they were necessary. ' Some thmgs are necessary daddy. cJThe Hon. Jimmy Carroll was jockeyed out of his leseived carriage on the New Plymouth railway, the other day, through two ladies taking possession of seats in it. and refusing to budge. No one would face the responsibility of trying to turn them out— James's gallantry would not allow it, anyhow — and the dilemma was ended by adding another carnage to the train for the M. uister. Some of these days the country will be scandalised at the spectacle of a Cabinet Minister having to ride in an ordinary first-class carriage.

'•Farmei" Tom. Maun recently asserted that he didn't think much of the Czar or the Kaiser, "but I am prepared to raise my hat to King Edward." There can be no dooubt that the King has aiheady given orders to the royal blacksmith to make a coronet for Tom, who has apparently w ithheild from publication the letter of humble thanks conveyed by Lord Knollys from His Majesty. The Empire should be' deeply grateful to Tom for allowing the King to stall act in the capacity of nominal monarch w hile Tom is away farming. • ♦ • Mr. Walter Lainbourne, of Ponsonby Auckland, has had a striking exDerience of the utility of advertising. What could be more prompt than this? —"Auckland Star," 3rd March): — Wanted, immediately, good Boy. — Apply W. Lambourne, Ironmonger, Ponsonby." (Auckland "Herald," March 6th)— "Lahbottrne. — On March 4th, at Shelly Beach-road, Ponsonby, to Mr. and Mrs. Walter Lambourne, a son." It was immediate enough for anything. • * • His Excellency the Governor went along to open Tama-te-kapua, the Maori meeting house at Ohinemutu, the other day, and, of course, there were miles of Maori speeches. One Maori told tine Governor that he belonged to "a dying race." Evidently this stirred the Irish blood of His Excellency, for he said he refused to believe it, and urged them to observe the rules of health, and all that sort of thing. Anyone who knows fche Maori will commend the Governor whenever he speaks sharply to pessimistic Maoris (for if a Maori makes up his mind to die, he'll die in spite of everything, and if the idea gets going among the Maoris that they are doomed to extinction, it will help them fifty per cent, towards the grave. y * * * vMr. William Richardson, the Auckland temperance advocate, who has laid informations against some prominent people in the Northern city for assault, evidently put in a strenuous time at the Premier's meeting where the alleged assaults happened. Mr. William Ooleman. an Auckland solicitor, rose at tlhe conclusion of Mr. Seddon's six-column speech, to move a vote of thanks and confidence. It was here that Mr. Richardson utiended himself, and the crowd at the back began to stand on ohairs and each other. Hoots and cheers blended inharmoniously. William was obseived making a frontal attack in order to mount the ramparts of the platform. • * * v^The Mayor spoke to him, but he still advanced. When he gamed the heights, according to report, the Mayor, "exercising his authority, pushed him back." William retired to collect his scattered forces, and then chargedThe police took a hand, and "Mr. Richardson was led without violence" as the "Star" puts it. William was wearing a white coat, and it was observed thait tlhe police let him go, and that he took advantage of his liberty to again move forward. His Worship, who may or may not be a humourist, handed him a glass of water, and William was allowed to begin. "Ladies," he said. It was some moments before the other thingshe said could be heard. /• * * * vftie Mayor read Mr. Richardson's amendment, setting out tihiat the Premier had exhibited cowardice by not answering questions, and was unworthy of confidence. A man, waved his arms as a sign that he seconded it. The amendment was lost in the terrific noise that happened, and the crowd singling "For he's (Mr. Seddon) a Jolly Good Fellow," three times three, etc. Ar>rjarentlv, if Mr. Richardson had been specially retained to give Mr. Sed'dbn a gilt-edged advertisement he couldn't have done it better than he did.

Aithui Bayfield, who stroked tine ' Stair" ciew that won the Fouib Championship the other day, wouldn't talk about it, so somebody else had to. The stroke of the "Stai" boat ha* a fighting physiognomy, which he keeps olo>eshaveii. Arthur ie> a keen oaisman, ami works for Macdonalld, Wjilm>ii, and Co. He is tieasurer of the Star Club, but before coming to Wellington he pu'lod a good oai down Westport way. In fa"t, he is a Wesbport boy and stroked the ciew that won the trophy presented by Mr. Cock, of Nelson, foi senior four- two yeais ago. No. 2in the boat was J. Hughes, also a Westport boy, but now employed in the Government railway shops at Petone. He ib going to England shortly to study engineering He lias been a membei of the Star Club foi three years, and a very successful oarsman in ma.iden and junior races. 3, Aithur Benda.ll, i> of the sea salty, for he is the son of Captain BendaJl manne surveyor, and brother of "Billy" and 'Os," both excellent puUesrs. He is a wearei of the ohampion "'red" coat ,as was, his brother 'Billy" befone him. The bow oar wax wielded by "Cyry" Okwiii, who was coxswain of the 189 d or 1896 boat, and a membei of that rather celebrated youths' crew composed of Frank Johnston, "Splash" Jame-,, young "Tommj" Hamer (son of the Premier's private secretary), and himself, which pulled its boat to Victory. He ha® been a gieat success, being in winning crews for "maidens," 'youths," and "-juniors. J vtfoung Bothamley (lovingly known as "Botts") is the shrimp of a boy who coxswained the boat. This white-hair-ed lad is the son of Mr. Bothamlev Clerk-Assistant in the Legislative Council, and he very pos^bly owes his steering capabilities to" the excellent example- of his father. Anyhow, Bat ham ley pere was founder of the club in the 'seventies.' Everybody remembers the old boat -bed. of course? Used to occupy ground now covered by the "biggest wooden building in the world." No wonder the club liw a distinguished cai eer behind it. We hope it may have a distinguished career ahead. ■* * * ./he cabled item that Captain R. Matthews, of the New Zealand militia had been pre-ented at the King's levee last week, reminds us interestingly of the gallant 'Bob." He is an Englishman by bnth, but a colonial by fevmpathy. He was one of the enthusiastic officers of the Hawei a Mounted Rifles — the corps from which Col. Davies, C.8., commanding the Auckland disti^t, came — who weie the first to offer fjr Afncan service. * * * Another Hawera Mounted Rifles officer was Maior Bartlett, D.5.0., and the corps also sent Sergeant-major Tuck, who is now a staff mstiuctoi, with the first troops Assistant Chief Health Officer Valintine, who w ais m those, days also an officer of the HaweTas would have crone to the front but for the unfortunate nding accident that lost him his leg. » ♦ * Captain Matthews was m England when the colony decided to send ti oops to Africa, and 'he hastened with all speed to Africa, and went aboard the Waiwera when New Zealand's first troopship lay off Port Elizabeth. He was a particularly keen, plucky soldier, and had the entire respect of his fellowofficers and the men of his squadron He leturned to England atbout a year ago, in order to give his small . n an education at the famous military school Cheltenham Colleee, and his intention is to aeain become a New Zealandor when his object shall be achieved. * * ♦ General Smuts, who used to be At-torney-General of the ex-Boei lepubhc, and who turned out a pretty sma.it fighting man, admires Lord Kitchener and adores Loid Milner, who, he says, ''is so unneTsally hated by both Bntish and Boer in South Africa that no one else could have drawn the races together so effectually." A brotherhood of hate' \/M.v. John Holmes, hemp expert, is an unfortunate man. Wherever he goes the reporters are aftei him, and insist on getting facts from him that he, in his modesty, would rather withhold For instance, John had barely occupied Invercargill a day when a press pencillor corkscrewed the fact out of him that he was executive commissioner during the visit to this colony of T.R.Hs. the Prince and Princess of Wales, and it will be delightful news to many to leai n that John was also Trade Commissioner from New Zealand during the brave old days of 1897 and 1898 (last century). It is also clear, from the published interview, that Mr. Holmes has recently overcome his natural diffidence in order to lecture a little. He has been advocating gifts of sample butter in order to show Britishers what they are missing bv insisting on buying •'Best Fresh Danish" or the mere Irish kind. TJn questionably, Mr. Holmes will be trotting hence once more to nreaoh the gospel of butter and hemp in London.

Mr. W. E. Son ell, of Britain, walked through. New Zealand awhile back. He went Home, and is iuhv lectunng to the ignoiant myriads of the goodolemotherland. Among the interesting matter Mr. Son ell gets off is the statement that "Mr. Seddon is an extremely affable man, who never forgets that he was once a farmer." What a memory Kmg Dick has, to be sure ! , * » * \Champion batsman Tiumper met a snag at Timaru. The town wai standing on tiptoe to see the leather w hackers, and the whole team was soon deep in conversation with the populace. One man got into animated conversation with the great Trumper. The 1 citizen was pleasedi with the Australian, and 1 , having had a yarn, asked him who he was. ''I'm Trumper," returned that exceedingly modest young man. ''And who the dickens is Trumper ?" asked the citizen. And the rest of the team boarded the train, and wept bitteily. Whei ever the team goets now the waes advance on the great Victor and ask him "Who in the world is Trumper 9 '' * *• * Majoi Jones, of Glen limes, New South Wales, is not enamoured of brass bands. Only the other daj. he declined the honom of vice-pi evident to which the local brass band had elected him. His note was delightfully candid. Listen. — "I consider that the first qualification to the office of vice-presi-dent would be stone deafness. Fortunatety, I see and hear pretty well. Though not a professoi of musac, I do know that musical sounds are defined under three headings* — sharps, flats, and naturals. The component parts of your band are of a similiai character, viz., the shairps are the playing members, the flats are the subscribing public, and the naturals those who voluntanly listen to youi music a second time. On this sound basis I predict a successful career for your brass band." Finally, he asked as a special favour that if in future they wished to connect him with the band, it would be fortvtMgh/t hours after his death If any sound then reached him he reckons it will seive him right for his laziness in getting into has grave. * *■ * Melba, the beloved, the melodious Melba, queen of song and empress of the treble clef, despises Australia with a concentrated loathing that makes it problematical if she will ever have the word whispeied in her presence again. Tins, at least, seems apparent from a blithering article in "Muiiisey's," written by one Tyson, though heaven alone knows who may have "inspired" it. "Melba's return to her native country was memorable, because it afforded Mme. Melba an opportunity to administer to the people of the island-con-tinent a series of the most stinging rebukes." How dare they be glad that Australia had produced Nellie? ♦ • • The ardent worshipper of Melba's megrims goes ahead : — "But the ardour

ot tJi? cheering throngs soon was dampened by the manner m which the city's gueb»t ol honoui regarded then* demonatiatioiib. Neither by nod nor smile did the haughty singer acknowledge the plaudits of the multitude*." Why should she, anyhow? She could! get bigger prices in London. Again, the delightful queenlmess of the contractor's daughter — "All Melbourne society alighted at her door, and all society wa-> dliscomfited. Nearly all the womenfolk greeted her as 'Nellie,' and asked her if she did not remember this or that incident of the past. But 'Nellie' was the great Melba now, and she coldly assured them that she didn't remember them at all. Wit-hm two days the only carnage that 1 oiled up to her door was her own " Which was extremely captivating of Madame "Nelke," indeed ' Perish the insult.