It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 123, 8 November 1902, Page 26

It is Town Talk

Mr. Hornsby, M.H.R. for Wairarapa, "tips" Mr. John Duthie as leader of the Opposition in the fifteenth Parliament. —That New Zealand is to be honoured by having a silk ensign hung in the Guildhall, London. That a New Zealand gentleman has just reoeived a letter posted in England in July, 1897 It is said to be overdue. That racing meetings were held on 309 days during last year. A million and a-quarter pounds were invested on the 'tote " — That it is not thought likely that Pierpont Morgan will throw a million or two dollars into the oil-boring business at Brunner. — That still the anaesthetic death is working its fell purpose. Obituary Alfred Jary, aged 11, at Ashburton, from effects of ether. — That sheep farmers have had thenlamb per oentage greatly diminished this season by the appalling appetite of wild pigs for juvenile mutton —That, according to an eminent scientist, indigestion makes one tell lies. Now we know something about patent medicine testimonials. —That the big meteor that flashed across the sky lately is reckoned by over one hundred persons in New Zealand to have fallen in their back garden. — That there is a youth in Masterton who w ill not have to chop firewood for a livin°" any longer. He has just reoeived an unexpected windfall of £37,000. — That -tihere is industrial peace in New Zealand. That is why the latest "Labour Journal" devotes fifty pages to recording awards in labour disputes. — That laying competitions between fowls is now a common form of "sport " Preserved eggs are likely to be in _ brisk demand by owners of slow competitors. — -That a man was "run-in" for vagrancy in a Southern town the other day. He satisfactorily proved that digging up dead Chinamen was not vagrancy — That the old story about the rain falling alike upon thei just and the unjust may be true, but tihe 1 thief who> is using your new umbrella keeps dry doesn't he ? — That, according to Bishop Julius, we are suffering from spiritual indigestion. "What doth man of the people read 9 Marie Corelh God help them '" Amen, Bisihop. — That it is hoped that the man with the scvthe, who is busy just now will keep his impLement clear of the thirteen candidates for Auckland City. That unlucky number. — That it may be interesting to know that a book canvasser, who took orders and money in New Zealand for a "great work" m 1898, is around at present delivering the work. — That several thousand women can be relied upon to sign a petition to release the criminal Worthington before he has completed his well-deserved seven years' imprisonment. — -That a good many Evans Bay Company shares were snapped by eager speculators' just prior to the sale. The vendors have been wearing a chastened expression ever since. — -That it is an ill wind that blows nobodv good, and that numbers of immigrants who are coming from Australia are being driven hither by the high price of meat and living generally. — That a wild story was in circulation that Frank Hvde, one time secretary to Sir Joseiph Ward, is to "put up" for Awarua, leaving Sir Joseph Ward free to contest Wellington Citv ' — That large orders have been placed in New York by Wellington businessmen foi stocks of the new whiskv tablets, and these concentrated intoxicants will be here for the festive season. — That, in filling m a form at the office of the Registrar of Births. Marriages and Deaths, the other day, a gentleman, in reply to the line "Where born," wrote thereunder "Upstairs." — That Mr Delladora is a candidate for a place on the Westport County Council. But, this name is not as unique as the name of another would-be councillor, who answers to Job Lines. — That flour rose in Palmerston the other week. A woman threw a dipperfull of flour at an enemy, and followed it up with a bucket of water. The animated pasteboard took her grievance to court. The magistrate said she kneaded relief, and fined the flour-thrower £? 7s.

— That, up to now, there are but seven candidates for Parliament ni New Zealand who go to tihe> poll solely on the "Prohibition ticket." — That candidates, are showing an anxiety to assure the electors that thev had nothing to do wih the loss of Miramar to the City Council. — That the old man with the scythe is gathering in a large spring crop of suicides. The Melbourne Cup cases are likely to be as heavy as usual. — That a person has patented an instrument to facilitate the swallowing of pills, and is now engaged in persuading the public to swallow the invention. — That the two Freds were all there at the Premier's banquet. Was it a wreath of laurel that one of them flourished in the air to speed the departing guest ? — That a recently -widowed lady, whose education has been neglected, would have no trimmings on the coffin of her late husband. "'Twas 'tnmmins' as killed him " she said — That an Australian waiter recently received a "tip" from an Australian of £100. He fainted, and subsequently died of shook. One hundred pounds worth of alcohol was too much for him. — -That a Chinaman has been arrested for drunkenness in Auckland. He is the firsit yellow "drunk" the New Zealand police have ever got. Still, John is a sinful, dirty, fan-tan playing Celestial. — That a local reporter offered his editor a rather grim heading for the loss of the Ventnor, with its load of Chinese carcases. The editor, however, refused to call the occurrence "Paradise Lost." —That, although "there are fifty Killarneys in New Zealand" (vide the Premier), the weatherboard shanties on their shores do not seem to have the historic associations that the old-fashioned one has. — That there are two parsons who assume themselves to be "dead certainties" for places in the coming Parliament — Mr. E. H. Taylor, Thames, and Mr. J. Crewes, New town. Both are ardent prohibitionists. — That a well-known Wanganui lady, in a half-column note of admiration of Marvellous Melba, says "I do not think much of the tenor or baritone of the company. I have heard better in Wangam ud." Happy Wanganui ' — -That, if cruelty to horses can be alleged against Chinamen, the cruelty generally consists in an attempt to cure libbing A Chinaman's jibbing horse has always a long under lip. John makes a rope fast to it, and pulls. — That, at Kilbimie on Monday night, after Mr. Barber had reviewed the work of the Government for the past twelve years, in a complimentary manner, a bucolio individual arose, and asked the candidate "If he supported the Government as ait present constituted." — That a knowledge of music will soon be necessary for admission to the police force. The informers who played themselves into the confidence of the sly-grog selling people at Balclutha, and then o-ot them, fined, should feel pretty mean about now. — That every second man von meet now has story to tell of how he lust missed getting into one or other of the Miramar syndicates He wanted to. you know — but the 'bus just started without him through some piece of hard luck. — Tha/t King Dick paid a visit to Miramar on Saturday. The quid nuncs havei been wondering ever since whether he v. anted to see if enough was left for workmen's homes, or whether his hobnobbing with dukes and earls has imbued him with the golf craze — That politics are somew hat mixed in Bruce at this election. Messrs. Scott and Allen are candidates, and there is a gentleman at Kaitangata named Mr. Scott-Allen, while a Mr. Scott, of Milton, is secretary to Mr. Allen m his candidatuie against Mr. Scott, of Milton — -That a horse really has more sense than many people imagine. An overworked specimen, at Eketahuna, recently di owned himself deliberately m a dool of water. If ordinary eouines would start protesting thusly against cruelty, the S.P.C A.'s work would be easiei . — 'That all the country papers persist in calling little Willy Schwiegershausen, the German world-touring cyclist, "the famous journalist." Willy was an ordinary reporter, who had driven a pencil for two years only when he started on the touring business. Might as well call McMurran "famous." — That some members of the Scenery Beautification Society are out on the war trail after the vandal who chipped out "Hataitai," in gigantic letters, un near the sky-line on Mount Victoria. Bv the way, these letters are 40ft. long and it took six barrels of lime and twenty barrels of water to paint the first two letters of the word. You would hardly imagine that the cross-bar in "H" and "A" is alone lift. long.

— That the desire for the gaud and glitter of military millinery is not dead. Many of the volunteer corps of New Zealand aire adopting the scarlet uniform of other days. — -That great interest is being taken in the single-wicket cricket contest, on the Basin Reserve, for a new hat. between two well-known exponents of the game. — That the latest thing among mi-crobe-maxiiacs is a microbe mask. It is a cross between a respirator and a nutmeg grater, and suggests the arrangements that our Christian ancestors were wont to use as> a punishment for lady "scolds." — That a certain Rugby enthusiast, who maide a business 1 call on the Quay the otiher day, strolled, away, and forgot his bike. Returning, by accident,

several hours later, the animal was still browsing on the kerbstone. Honest Wellington. — 'That an up-country couple/ who nad arranged all preliminaries for the marriage of their thirteenth child, turned up to find a vacancy for a bridegroom. Unlucky thirteen ' — That Joe Mandel's select champagne supper, which wound up the banquet, enabled one eminent citizen, to assure the Premier that, a'tiough he was now a political opponent, time might mellow him into something else. Would a J.P.-ship help? — That the valuation expert, who wagered a silk hiat that Kennedy Mac. would not dispose of half-a-dozen of those Miramar sections, feels now like the man who fell out of the balloon.