It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 98, 17 May 1902, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

-That it is oaMei to be good than glPag 1Pa t — their is li\ss opposition —That tluv thiee gieatest nations this aie the Bntr-h nation coronation and \ accmation -That Kaioii tai is a iwl Butish make and equal to the best Stockholm Ask His \Yoi->lnp Th.it the na-on «lv men get baJd ftoomr tha,n « omen is because theN do not weaj then liaii so long —That building piojects are being aba.ido.iwi vi vaiious t,uarto.s evei since the uator supply was cut off the hits. That if Quw» Wilhelmina dies 111 -That the Boeis seem to be fc South Africa. from naming him -That it will soon be necessa^ to to the firemen foi tnaJ —That the pantiv-man in a local hotel came in for £000 the other day and lost no time m marrying one of the housemaids, and departing for S-, dne — That tlie Americans don't want the eartl but tlu* have then eje on the +r<inV of the Pacific and the ships Think goodness the Duco is still unannexed f —That the Wellington inspectoi ot the SPCA cannot get a fiee pass o tfl c trams That is nothing. Most peopk Snot get standing 100 m ,hen they pay for a seat ed for surprise visits. —That a Wellington man, « ho w as mhis own better half. —That Di. Peebles, bellies that medicos boorf" tl.e plague business SonVVn Sydne> for then own ondfe Plaiue is a fool to vaccination according to the spiritualist. -That the C'itv Council has salved its conscience by building the New town Sbrafv No payable roads are requared If we ask for bread, wdl ye give us » stone'" Yea, \enlv 1 —That there is an alarming paucity of police court cases at the present time. Even the Chinamen seem to W turned over a ne^ leaf, and deteatea ' Robert's" attempt to get cases. —That, the City Council must, be vi a yen cheeae-parniß frame of mind when it resorts to the stale old device 01 cUjenxng labour bv -king applicants for a vacant billet what salary the, ex pect -That, at the Libeial and Labom Federation 'hop." on Friday night the beau of the ball was undoubtedly Tom WUford His interpolated cake walk w-as the smartest -turn" «een up to 11 P m - iic —That if people who aie rand ot chicken broth, and poultn geneially yaw some of the birds arrive pel steamer at Wellington their appetite toi feathered delicacies would receive a check . That a sanceie hope ha& been expressed that the Wellington police, who have caught the ping-pong craze, don't have side-w agers on the matches. They would have to run in themselves instead of meie Celestials if they did —That, accoiding to the daily papers-, rain has been falling for several days. Apparently nobody knew it. Everybody thought that the reason they gojt wet' was fiom standing in the sun A good way to dry clothes is to dip them in a creek. —That an old a,ge pension applicant, to whom the dole was refused up the line went a^\a^ and immediately "knocked down" a £2o cheque m the good old British nay He got something out of the Government though, in the way of lodgings. —That the Pollard Opera Company have a team of bowlers who are quite willing to take a fall out of the local "cracks" They nlayed two games at Gisborne, on the way down, and, although they lost the first, bv thre** points — it was against a team whose leader bore the significant name of Score — they tied in the second.

That when the news that Mi Wcnl\o could not come to New Zealand was ictciu'd, the publicans di^KMiM'd im lemonade That now that ping-pong is in full blast anioiiK tlie oohce the unlightud bike and the pak-a-poo ( hme<-e will probabh hi'l easier i» miml That it the SP C A had its wish and could get Mr Kettle chitted to Wellington, certain people might him th(>m^el\(-s in \ei\ hot w atei That Sir Joseph Waul was a bold man to san, that rents weie t'><> high in Wellington Not a single pro'wtA - ownei prot up and \elled Yes " Tluit theie is a ceitam local businessman who does not nla\ ping-pone. Tin Health Omcei sliould M>e to tin** at once and isolate, him if ncet That ex-In^pe-etoi Pendei is at piesent engaged m the dehehthil occupation of "answering invitations to come and "et another pur^e of sowreigns That it might be laughable enough to ste om selves 'as ithers see us." but not halt =o funm as it would be for otliei^ to see some of us as « c see ourselves. —That there was a bus>> intel change of tender glances between Peicv's twenty-five wives at the Opeia House and the Johnnies in the stalls on Tue^da\ naght. That it is to be hoped the Coiouatiou thanksgivers w on't keeo the youngsters w aitmg too long at the Basin on Coronation Day. for the bag o' lolkes and a bun." That the Re\ . H. Van Staveien was made convenei of the Thankssivmg Service Committee for Coronation Day because his name implies he is bound to be m the van Tha.t the tram profits would be considerably reduced if all the passengers walked' The overload of passengeis certamlv pays ever\ conductoi's waees. m the Council's employ. - That the daily papers have been eating humble pie ovei that fanv tale about the woman who was alleged to have brought her mother to Wellington, and them cast her adrift That there w a run-away mainage in town last week which is expected to turn out very happih Whv 9 Because all their relatives, are so angiA that they won't visit them. - That the people who are content to face a water famine, rather than undeigo the torture of paying a few more bawbee 6 in rates, will probably find out yet that they are penny wise and pound foolish . -That Amy Castles, weais a token said to have been blessed by the Pope, and she declares that whenever she happens to leave it off she is quite unable to sing. By the same token, that is not often. That a young parson, who is known to be a "celluloid maniac," electrified a locaJ congregation on Sunday last b\ giving out Hymn No. 175 (A and M ) ■■Ponquering Ping's (Conquering Kings) then titles take." That the latest subiects of debate ait the Central Club aie What made the apple turn over?— Seeing the sausage roll. AUo, Wh\ was the window sash sad?— Because it could not help the fallen blind That George Adams wept when he heard the decision of the Government to return all letters in connection with Tatter&all's addressed to Hobait It was. a Tattersal's weep the law had no power to put a stop to. That the rumour that the Cit\ Council l 1l 1 - to provide cork soles, macintoshes and umbrellas for children who attend the proposed, coronation celebration, on the Basan Reserve has been traced to a looaA doctor — That the Hon W. C Walker earned kudos by the sweat of his biow at the Liberal and Laboui Fedeiataon hop " The "Light fantastic" is a ha.ppy expression employed m connection with the popular Minister. -That the piofits of the Public Tiust Office foi the veai have been o\er £10,000. But is it light that a department of this kind, established for the benefit of the people, should make r>roiits s Why not reduce the charges 0 That an up-country paper chronicles the fact that a milkman's horse ran awa^ madly for about four miles without breaking a strap, or spilling a drop of milk It carefully refrains from mentioning the quantity of water lost however That, if the the Tourist Department is going to acclimatise the moose it should post up photographs of that uncanny looking ouadruped in conspicuous places oir the first sportsman who seeft a moose bull bearing down on him will probably pull up at a lunatic asylum - That an ingenious New town shaver, on reading of the eruption in the West Indies this week, concocted a miniature volcano of steel filings a.nd sul^hn? and burnt it in the back gaiden. When it erupted, the child's maiden aunt left in haste, and has not returned. Some people say the child's scientific pa put the child up to the dodge