Entre Nous

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 97, 10 May 1902, Page 12

Entre Nous

THERh was unusual excitement dp at Thoindon public school the othei cla\ It all aiose o\ el a Celestial \isitoi It wa& not e.vacth aji angel's visit, noi M>t was it a messenger horn Mais. Meieb, a httlt Clunose bo^ ot some ten summeis whose \\a>s weie childlike and bland and who woie his lUMth -plaited pigtail no-ht down Ins back m the be&t Chinese fashion His Mongolian paient had sent him to school &o that he might pick up the baibauan knowledge which, in due course would enable him to sell olangee" and salalee" and eabbagee to the \ery best advantage. * • * The acting head-master accepted tins, youthful sample of China, with the genial smile and the hearty greeting with which he receives all surprise parties, But a difficulty quickly arose ui the foim of that tempting pigtail. The youthful shavers of the school found it both a novel and agreeable kind of sport to lay hold of the appendage hue a bellrope, and give it a tug so as to discover if the owner was at home. Arter school therefoie, Mi. Webb went in search of the father of his Chinese scholai, and having found him, he proceeded to impiess upon him t.hc expedients of docking the pigtail * * * John shook his head with great determination. The schoolmaster wanted to know why it could not be pared down for the time being. Then, John entered into an explanation in his best "pidgin English." His bov's mother was dead. Her soul would not rest in peace if that pigtail came off. Had given her the assurance ere she died that when the boy went out among the foreign devils that pigtail would never be interfered with. Without it the boy could never hope to enter the Celestial heaven. "Take it off? No fear Cockie." Under the circumstances, the dominie, like a discreet general, made overtures for a compromise He thought the bov's worldly comfort might be secured without wrecking his hopes of eternal bliss The proposal was that that pigtail should be wound round the top of the head, and that young Ah Sin might w ear a small skullcap over it inside the school. And. in this wav, the peace is keot on the Chinese question m the Thoindon school, and raids upon the pigtail a.ie averted * • * One of the Wairaiapa papers tells its readers that Miss Amy Castles' salairv is £2-10 for each concert Also, that, as per agreement, she receives her cheque at eleven o'clock on the morning succeeding e^ch concert. Astonishing how these country papers get to know the ins and outs of everything in town. In this instance, however, the trustful confidence of our country friend seems to have been imposed upon. We heard ourselves, on excellent authority, that each of these Amv Castles concerts costs Mr J. C. Williamson £300 &o that if Amv Castles' "cut" is £200. there is onlv £-50 left, to be divided among all the other artistes and to pay the working expenses. Which of course, is hard to believe » • • At the same time, Mr Williamson i<. showing great enterprise in sending -so costly a company on a New Zealand tour for a £400 house is about as much as he can expect for anv concert in thi« colony. And this reminds iis of something else. Mr. Harold Ash ton. who is business manager of this concert company for Mr. Williamson, told us the other day that Wellington proportionately to population, is the best show town in the whole of the> Australasian colonies, and that Auckland runs it close He speaks from the fulness of experience, and the fact is eenerallv recognised bv theatrical people. * » Belated yarn about the earthquaked Chnstchurch Cathedral spire. During repairs, workmen were sending un bricks to the steeplejacks on top Came to them a life insurance agent. and bribed him. ' Send me up instead of the next load of bricks," said the agent Sitting astride a small bit of board the agent was hauled to the top. in view of an excited populace. The lacks had previously not thought much of the risks of steeple-climbing, but the agent quite convinced them that anv moment they might be in eternity, and their wives and children in poverty. With a good telescope, a man in the crowd made out the agent with his left arm round the rope, and his feet dangling in space, pencilling the proposal to place the workmen's wives beyond the reach of poverty. Said that that agent makes about £1000 a year in commission. He deserves it

Masteiton lias conic to light with ■still anothei champion This is the champion mean man Wo h.nc heuid of thp gentleman who would steal the milk out of anothei fellow's tea, and the lad\ who appropnated the rag fiom a child's cut finger, but we had not heaid of a man who wa^- so eagei foi intellectual pabulum as the subject of tins paiagiaph He is alleged to ha-, e stolen out each moining, exti acted the morning paper tiom a neighboui's httle box lead it folded it, and re-deposited it Bumming with news from the wide world ovei, he went to bieakfast and letailed the happenings to his wife Reallv that paper ought to give the man a fiee copv It is a fine sample of the virtue of appreciation * • * It seems a bit piobable that Auckland is tivms; to get a few of its worn-out 'bus and tram holies worked oft foi lemaunts. Recently when the Bntish Government, agent was m that quai tor a. citizen went to a local yaid to ha\e a look at the herv quadrupeds that were to carry troops to victory. Three were standing huddled in a heap m a cornei . The remount man could see two outside horses but he wanted to have a look at the untamed steed in the middle "Trot out that middle one " he said to the groom in charge. "And let the other two fall down'" said that individual "No bloomin' feai. Wait till the boss comes I ain't takm' no risks '" ¥■ * # A local Presbvtenaii ' meemstei" chanced upon a member of his chuioh on Saturday evening, sailing home with three sheets in the wind It was not the first time and so he bore dow n and hailed. The member was in the talkative stage and gladly stopped for a ciack." He was gravely leminded of the error of his ways, and the cleigymaji wound up by asking why he allowed himself so often to be the v. orse for liquor. Sandy straightened his back up against a hoarding, and made lenlv after this convincing fashion — "Weel ye see, I alwavs ken when I have ov, le little, and I alwavs ken when I ha\e owre muckle, but I have ne\er been able to ken w T hen I had eneuch * * * Tommy" m Africa thinks moie of his "tuckei" than of anything else on earth A New Zealander wntes telling of a raid made by Boers on their supply "park" at Fredenckstadt Gentle Tommy saved his tuckei , and killed nineteen Boers. This is the inscription on the grave — Heie he nineteen Boers, Who came to Fredenckstadt to .steal oui stores. Now tlie\ aie gone to bettei shoies — What O she bumps." A New town youth, who has hitherto shone as ai practical jokei has flickered finally out of the mdustn It has been his custom to prowl aiound backyards, imitating the howls of moonstruck dogs, the midnight melodies of startled fowls, and the dieadful oateruauhngs of nocturnal felines. Returning from a convivial evening-out on Tuesday last he did his cat "turn" from behind a hedge m Adelaide-road for the benefit of the neighbourhood, and the satisfaction of himself He got satisfaction. Hurtlmg through the atmosphere oame the better half of a brick and a husky voice behind it hoped he'd 'killed the darned cuss " He hadn't quite, but the cat imitator is resting up the Manawatu until a broken nose is mended, some blackened eve*s righted, and a few missing teeth leplaced.

It occuired at the Exchange Hall, while "Our George" was orating there the other night. The orator paused, after scoring a neat point, in order to let the audience come in with its appLause. Whereupon, Jenkins, up m the gallerj took the opportunity to observe to Hopkins, ''Well, I do admire the man who says the right thing at the right time " "So do I," remarked Hopkins, "particularly when I'm thirsty." The hint was taken. That was the reason why two men tramped out while George was leading up to the next point. They were leading ud to the next pint. * # * A passenger left the Newtown tramcar in a great hurry the other morning. It seems he was a hard case. He kept the conductor waiting for five minutes till he turned out all his pockets. Then, he explained, "By Jove, I've lost ray card I'm not as well off as I thought I was " "No," remarked the conductor, as he helped him off the step on to the roiad. "but vou're really better off." * ♦ * "Did you consider the husband w as a henpecked man?" was asked a witness in the S.M. Court the other day. "I never considered that he was a man at all," was the crushing replv of the lad's in the box.

Two old public servants have gone out of official life in Wellington almost simultaneously, and both of them have won golden opinions from all sorts of people Inspector Peter Pender comes easily first for length of service. Fifty years is a very long innings at the game of preserving law and order and plenty of time in which to make mistakes. Nobody has discovered anything against our police G.O.M however. What the Js.P. thought of him everybody knows per illuminated address on public exhibition, and what the Law Society thought of him is written in good minted gold. The public hare made no imputations on his honourable career, and the aged but hearty police office*- retires into private life with the best, wishes of everybody. •* ' • The other retired veteran, with a career slightly shorter, but as unsullied is Mr. James MoKerrow, who has probably done a larger share of work for the Lands and Survey Department than any man in New Zealand. Fortytwo years ago he put his shoulder to the wheel and it has been there ever since. If you had heard all the prominent officials in the Department saying nice things about him on Friday afternoon last, when they were presenting their taiewell address, you would have beheved them to be sincere. His old colleagues not only said farewell, but gave him a magnificent bookcase. It must be refreshing to both veterans to look back upon such long and useful careers. and be able to retire into a well-earned leisure with the reflection that they have no enemies. To look at these hale and hearty veterans, one would say they have many years of happy, healthful life before them, and it is surelv the wish of all that they will fully enjov the days that still lie ahead of them. • • • The Greymouth 'Argus," in shedding a tear over the permanent setting of the Wellington "Sun," says it started with a capital of £40,000. Look at that, now ' • ♦ * A sensational incident occurred in Dannevirke on Monday last, when a well-known citizen was severely thrashed in the street with a horsewhip by his wife fßom whom he is living aoart. The heroine of the affair went about her task in a calm and well-pLaained manner. Hubby was leading a horse, and conversing with a friend. So sudden was the onslaught of his better half that, before he could realise his awkward position, the reins-were loosened, and the horse driven a^ay, so that his chance of escape was cut off. The whip was applied with hearty good-will, drawing blood, and leaving ita tirade mark well denned. The punished male was glad to take shelter in a shop, being hotly pursued right along the street by his wife. The incident caused great excitement, and was witnessed bv a large number of people.

Tke people ot t!ie Ten ace Congiegational Chinch aie still laughing over the Aei.v latest of Seeiotarv KnoMi.es' ch> jokes Whethei it was caiefull.N elaborated betoielwind, 01 popped out in spite ot himself, is not e.xacth known but, a,t any late, both paison and people still hold their aching suk\s u hen thc\ think ot it, ajid whene; el yon see two Ten ace Congiegationali&ts appioachmg each other in. the street you are quite sure to be startled b-\ a Midden explosion of math as soon as the> meet This particulai joke ciopped up m the annual repoit of the ehuich winch was road out bv the secietars a^ the Diamond Jubilee last week. * * * It \\a& to tlie effect that Parson Glasson bad Ween away for three weeks to Ponrii.' to lecuperate, and had returned gioatU benefited in health Of course, mention -of Ponrua brought at once to e^ervone's mind a certain institution there, and a titter went lound the chinch at once, and bioadened even face tlie parson's included, into a large-sized smile which shows vou how ceitam names and places get associated. Theip was a time in Wellington's historv when it was not exactly safe to ask a man if he lived at Karon That was when the Asylum was located there And now it is just as well to leave nothing in doubt when vou speak about Porirua "Eh. Mr Knowles 2 • • • It is a storv of the An^ Ca st I fos concert on Monday night, and explains how a certain citizen of political renown "Fell in " so to speak Armed with a dress circle pasteboard, which he had procured from another citizen on the deferred payment system, he took proud possession of a prominent seat in the centre of the circle, and lav back in serene satisfaction to survey the arrivinge throng All went well till the house was full and the hour had arrived foi the curtain to go up Then sudclenlv a hand tapped him firmly on the shoulder and he looked up to find an u=her at his elbow. • * * A whispered colloquy, a look of profound distrust on his classic features and then he hauled out that pasteboard from his vest pocket, fixed his oince-nez to his nose, and gazed long and critically at the printed characters. Anothei colloquy rather more animated, and more gesticulatorv than the last Then, that citizen arose in indignation and after some search was. shown into a seat not neaxlv so advantageous. He had bought a Wednesday ticket foi the Monday concert * * * We dropped across an American gentleman from New York the othei dav, and talked Tammany and kindred subjects with him He was surmised at the honesty of the police force in New Zealand. Talking about the New York police he related an incident that occurred in Central 44th street Police Court a few months ago A burglar was haled before the magistrate for breaking and entering. He had dynamited a safe, and "lifted" five thousand dollars and a large amount in bills. Asked why he had taken the monev, he replied, "Waal, jedge, ye see, I'm sorter dog-gone tired of rootin' around earning a- honest livin,' and I thought I'd jest git a few dollars together, and buy myself into the police force 1 " The Yankee solemnly asserts that, having done his three "weeks' gaol, he is now a fullv qualified guardian of the peace

The Napiei people who weie taken in so boautitulh b\ that enteipusaiig \ouna, man Donnellv from Wellington, aie feeling, awfully sill\ just nou A local visitor to the town which boasts the Marine Paiaile, tells us Napier Sooiet\ was, gieatl> tickled some w eoks ago when it heatd what a ga, tune r> r A..elly had m Wellington as the •Hoi 0 C Kinnan " The geneiaJ opinion was tha,t it was so like Wellington," and the haut ton of Napier simpiv roaie'd at the idea of the lmposter being united to dinner on board the Atheuic. Follow of his class couldn't ape their betters so successfully at Napiei- oh deal , no 1 » * * And vet, in spite of all its boasting and with Wellington's sad example light before its eye.s Napier has boon fooled in the same barefaced wa\ and b\ pieciselv the same insinuating deceive I—the1 — the son of poor but icspectable. parents as the newspape, maai puts it No wonder curient icllv circles in Napiei aio quivering to th< ir very centre with wrath and mortification To heap hospitality and invites upon and get up balls and narties for the 'Hon. Robert Preston," the "Hon R.. Kincan-d," and Lieut Donnellv ''the son of that distinguished soldier Maior-General Sir John Fretchville Donnellv. K.C.8., R.E.," only to find out that they are all merged in the plebeian personality of Charlie Donnelly who gets three months for being a rogue and vagabond— why, hang it it's too bad * • • Probably, if the New Zealand artillerv is to follow the advice of a daily paper the draught mule and bullock breeding industry will become a most important one in the near futtire. Said paner gently intimates that artillerists know nothing about clearing out guns quickly so that an intending enemv may not capture them. The Boers clear a "cow" gun apparently off the face of the earth in au hour ot two New Zealand artillery does not because it never had anv reason to. It would take a. tolerably decent team of mules to haul a thirteen-ton gun up Mount Victoria, and it would take moie working bullocks and artillerymen than New Zealand has to clear that gun out before the enemy's horsemen got to "holds" with the gunners * * * We don't mind the Government turning New Zealand into a mule and bullock run, and we should be glad if the artillery knew something about screening their heavy ordnance. The Boers removed a fifteen-ton Creuzot from Tabachlachte in Cape Colony (a hill as steep as Mount Victoria) in a night before French could get near it But thev had tw o teams of 140 bullocks^ each to do it with and countless mules to take up the running on the flat. Wherefore, the Government should at once vote about a million pounds for draught animals to be kept in readiness to whip out of sight before anv enemy, who ma\ arrive anv time during the next fifty years, can land on our shores. * * * A Dannevirke resident has discovered an interesting form of amusement for himself and his neighbours. It consists of giving fowls a ping-pong ball to play with. Vigorous pecks merely ha* e the effect of sending the ball along the ground, but the fowls, imagining evidently that it is a thm-shelled ece. puisne it with evergv unabated.

Little tale told ot a humorous institution, not far fiom. Wellington, re<nstered under the Municipal Corporatioms Act It seems that a settler had been petitioning the local council to fill up a coitain mud hole of large proportions. At one of the recent late sittings, three of the councillors weie wending then midnight way homeward, when the trio filled that hole, but not in the way required. Hearing Parliamentary languagje, the settler came out with a Lantern, and viewed a squirming mass, of, eounodlors wallowing in the mud-ho!e He eyed them with a stony glaie "Well gentlemen I'm glad to see vou stirring in the mattei at last," he said And, with a, grim ehuckle, he left them to the darkness of the night and the mud-hole. • • • It wa& the first time during the twenty-five yeais he has been associated w ith local bodies and societies that Mi. J. Drummond, the retiring May or of Dannevirke, was defeated, at the mayoral election last week Mr. Drummond has been mayor of the City of the Bush for the last five years, and did not intend again seeking the honour were it not for one of those "notations " He is also captain of the local volunteers, and altogether, is a popular and energetic townsman. At the age of twenty-two' he wa« chairman of the Taradale River Board, and ever since has been before the public in one capacity or another. • • * Mr. A L. Gordon, the mayor-elect, came to Dannevirke iu.st about the time the town was springing into existence. Like Mr Drummond, he has always been identified with the progress of the Bush district. The new mavor is a shrewd business man, as one may judge by the large trade he has worked up in connection with his furniture and warehouse depot. There is no reason to believe the ratepayers will regret electing such a prominent citizen as their chief magistrate. * » • Thev were strolling homewards one night lai«t week, full of benevolence and brotherly love, after singing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Masonic banquet. Saith one worthv brother "I say, old bov, it was an awful trial for me to make that speech to-night." To which the other worthy brother cheerfully replied "Don't mention it, my dear fellow . iust think what the rest of us suffered." And the orator has been wondering ever since whether his friend really m r ant it. » * • Somebody had the temerity to question the assertion made by Mr. T. K. McDonald on Friday last, at a public meeting convened to discuss local coronation celebrations, that the people of Wellington would gladly put thear hands into their pockets to provide a big demonstration. That pessimist has reason on his side. Fact is, Wellington people must, have worn thear pockets pretty thin during the past year or two, and the Queen's statue is the most praiseworthy and lasting memorial that could be designed to celebrate Edward VII. coronation. * • ♦ If the people of Wellington do dive those before-mentioned hands into their pockets for any other purpose, and leave the statue to fade into oblivion, their loyalty is of a self-seeking and self-ad-vertising kind. Of course, any demonstration held will be promptly cabled

Home, and the oabler won't forget to talk of unprecedented crowds, and magnificent loyalty. Wellington set its hand to the Dlough, and looked back. The money required for a big celebration would certainly be more than sufficient for the purposes of the statue. But the Queen is dead ! Long live the King'