It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 96, 3 May 1902, Page 22

It is Town Talk

— That tlu- latent musical cnw.t is ' Castles in the An —That Kiucst Fitts wa,s cured of hshmg m Wellington b\ Toning Wilfoid, and has taken to \ aehtmg instead up Noi th - That negotiations have been going on for importations ot C'ahfornian w heat so as to copt with the using, teadeuo < f New Zealand flour. — That the Societ\ foi the Piotectio'i of Women is kept bus\ b\ the cases of girls betted b\ departing troopeis. The same old tale — That a Wellington patnot 'ast week declaied he does not think much of the man who would not die a natural death for las natn c country. —That the De Wet on the British side should be piehxed 'Our Own " to differentiate him from the elusive one running foi the opposition house. —That a local doctor was black-mail-ed for £10 the other day very neatly There is danger in hastening to urgent cases when the patient is a stranger. — That the artist who caricatuied a well-known barrister might have spaied him a tew hairs for the top of his head — sa^\ a crick efcei 's supply eleven hans on each side — That counter irritation is a splendid antidote foi pain. Tootache can be instantly cured by listening to the mo*t-recentiv imported gramophone selections of Chinese music. — That smoked glass is in great ■ • quest just now for the partial eclipse of the sun on Tuesday next. A good maiiv observations are also being made through a different kind of glass. — That the house-to-house visitation of electors, for the purpose of putting them on the rolls in good' time for the elections, ought to provide a lot of nee light billets for needy politicians — That the preliminary steps have been taken towards a divorce action based upon certain circumstances that transpired at a lecent fashionable function. It was a very awkward letter. — That a well-to-do Welhngtonian, who started on the grand tour some little time since has w i ltten sa> ing that ho has paid £100 for a window to enable his famih to =cc the Coronation procession. — -That a Wellington troopei just teturned from the front, sa\s one cannot help being '"struck" bv the accurae\ of the Boer fire Which does not exactly explain how he managed to &et off scot free — That a certain lecturer is mound the country districts lecturing on the "Immortaht} ot the Soul." One paper left out the t, and the lecturer is looking for the compositoi with a large, jagged tomahawk. —That theie was, a gieat trouble in a New town household the othei night because a lad «as believed to have developed plague However, the swelling proved to be a sympathetic one from a thorn in the foot. — That Nelson was astir the othei day when an officer of a vessel was thrashed in a local hotel bv a lady who alleged that he had slandered her. It us the whip-thrashing was scarcely so bad as the tongue-thrashing. — That an Auckland warrior, who 'eft by one of the latest New Zealand Contingents, has informed his friends that ho and three others dropped £100 at cards on the way across. Evidently, some hawks among these khaki pigeons. — That there is some idea afloat of forming a society to solemnly confei '» leather medal each jear upon the man who haa committed * the most mangy action rrought under public notice during the year. It will entitle ham lo distinction as the champion mean man — That T. W. Stringer's speech, at C'hristohureh, on the occasion of *"he presentation of the Seddon testimonial, is causing people to canvas his chances of succeeding to the Supreme Couit bench when Judge Conolly, the octogenarian, thanks he can afford to retire. — Thait a certain Wellington artist, who has done a little local landscape m water-colours, was showing it to a Lambton Quay friend this week. He wanted an apt title for it. The friend suggested "Home." "'Why?" "Becausei there is no other place like it " — That, a bout at fisticuffs between a couple of citizens interrupted traffic for a while on the Manners-street footpath the othei' evening. The aggressor subsequently explained that the other e<4low had remarked that Ananias w ould never have become celebrated if he had lived in the same town with said aggr?ssor.

- That still tin tnuu (1 meat death hoi ks lbs li.n or Si\ people at Apiti poisoned with one tin ot kippeied heinngs' - That since the disco\ei\ ot a plague case m Auckland tin* people of the Queien C'it\ ha\ c killed 3000 rodentNone ot them had plague Tliat Mnnstei Canoll will don khaki ne\t Maich He lias thioatoned to tuke ILtou troops Home to lia\e a little nutter on their ow n " — That attei battling foi two \eais for the hand of a fan Wolhngtonian a \ OUII2, man has persuaded hci tathei to toe the maik Ho w as the maik — Tliat ante-ma\ oral speeches aie di — clomiio the fact that among candidatesuch a thing as se'fislmess is unknown aniopo them — tins •side of the elections -"-Tliat theio is trouble in a hospital up the line The doctoi ordeied a patient w hi<-kv. Prohibition nurse uitliheld it Patient is dead "Who is to blame J — That the authorities aie sbill issuing h\c shilling licenses to people -who want to starve horses For the amusement provided tins is the cheapest peimifc w e know of. — That Masterto-i's latest maivel is a potato weighing ten and a-lialf pounds That's nothing. Wellington, until lecenth, had a Premier hvinq, here weighing twenty-one stone — That, in addition to swelled head, ten and a-half pound pound potatoes Geo. Hyde and Mr Hogg. Masterton hais come to light with a pumpkin ten and a-half feet in girth — That Wellington which is equal h as windy as Chicago, should borrow an idea, from Porkopolis Tliat city is to be liehted veiT soon with eleetiicit\ supplied bv windmill power. — That a Southern paper publishes the priceless bit of mfoimation that New Zealand has sent 03 043 men to the war since 1899 Wi>h the paper had left us a few to inn the count r\ with. —That the Wellington S.P.C.A. ma\ congiatulate itself on the yen fine work it is doing lately. It they keep pegging aua\ the "necessan " ciuelt\ will piobabh cease. Good luck to them — That a local clergyman made rm absurd little scene at a cluistening the other day because the fond mot he i -n sisted on calling hei fiist-bom after him The name was too distinctive. — That a Patea hotclkeepei, m lespoirse to an appeal of the authorities to kill iats, has fifty cats at work on the piemisefe. He ha»s not the usual number of boarders since their installation — That the Wellington footballer who collared" one of his ow n side m one of Satuiday's matches at Athletic Park, and curtailed a brilliant run and a possible score, has not done fcel.ng silly yet. — That Chicago's invitation to Kiuger to pay a i isit, and accept the freedom of the oity, is rather appropriate A city winch" thrives on pork ought naturally to take a ki.idlv interest in the Boer. — That mone\ is leaving New Zealand without any fuss> for investment :n South Afnca. Two little paicels of £15 000 and £9000 lespectiveh lioa c tako.i flight f:om Wellington in that dncction. — That a, not divtant paper liad a column lafet w eek headed Local Lie<s " Of course, the oomp. left an n" out, but ' reptile contemporaries say tlie only reiallv tiue item in the column is its headline. — That the ex and only lady ma\ or of New Zealand is said to be on her way to Australia to explain to the newhenfranohifeed women of those States the unbounded blessings of a vote. Onehunga mourns. —That the New Zealand Socialists aie bound to make Tom Mann one of their nominees for Parliament Theie will probably be some difficult^, m getting Tom to accept the honorarium should lie be elected — That a, Featherston Lothario, who recently underwent some necessary chastisement at the hands of some townspeople is in a quadaiy as to iho best methods of removing tar and feathers from the person — That the Newtown Salvation Army man who is parading at present m a vn id blue robe, with a yellow serpent stuck on a clothes prop, after the ancient bibhca.l style, has not been suppi essed vet as a public nuisance — That the press of Sydney is setting itfeelf up as censors of the alleged gambling iniquity among the "Noifolk" troopers. Might easily criticise several thousands of houses run entirely for gambling purposes in that city. — That it is quite on the cards the Equitable Life Assurance Compam will be putting up permanent quarters in Wellington. Those who have seen the Sydney and Melbourne buildings will appreciate what this means to the building trade.