Entre Nous

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 96, 3 May 1902, Page 12

Entre Nous

TALK or a iailwa\ jouine\ tiom New Phmoutli to Wellington Two Wellington commercials who had had a good time, and lots ot reheshment, occupied one compaitJnent, gu\e naj to the jolkt\ ot the situation, diank whisky, and gonoiallj behaved like unhoK men will do when two of them aie gathered toeethei They sang songs that aie not found in Sanke^ and they exchanged some hundreds of nursery rhymes I" hat have netei been published in any child s book we have seen, had a .store or lugn-h-flavouicd anecdotes to get rid ot and were \eiv comfoitable indeed Absolutel\ pm ate, \ou know ! 1/Veie they' « * * The ca,rwa.s not exactly sound-proof. On anmng at Wellington, the gentlemen who had exhausted the stoiehouoe of liveliness, in narrative observed a dainty girl trip from the next apartment ' A male friend met her. "Had a horrid time, I suppose," he said, ' riding dow n in that slow old hearse "Oh no I've had the best tune I ever had 'in my life," she replied, looking those l commercials" straight in the face She is 1 elated to the head or the firm, and they are still wondering, in a nervous sort of way how much she ieall> heard. # * * Of comse you have seen, on your travels down the stieet, the gorgeous gentleman who tells you, m a loud voice that the show behind him is absolutely the finest show on earth, and is well worth threepence to see ! In a mediumsized town, a little way up the country one of the attractions of a travelling show was a phonograph For threepence one could hear this marvellous machine. The table was draped, and the usual series of ear tubes dangled down Really, it was a marvellous phonograph The voice was very loud and very dear, and people weie rositivelv charmed * • * Came to that machine a doubtina Thomas one day, and he lifted the cuitain Seated under the table was a young gentleman ciouched up with i stack of songs on one side of him singing away for dear life That animated recoid was not a wax o.ie, but his face was that colour when a bucolic sen tieman tned him on anothei tune Ihe police foice arrived in the mck of time to save a great many priceless euuo« from wreck and rum. » ♦ • Theie was a sopiano who made n.-u debut, And came on the stage in .1 white f a L in shut ' (Well if shut" don't spell Shoo Doc^ ' debut" spoil 'deeboo 5 " Oh this mvi dei ous spelling it ue\ "i will dut')

Anothei case ot e dunno w'eie c aie ' Supieme Couit uas sitting jui\ h)i".nan said lie could not go on, as all tlio juij weien't tlieie His Houoi counted'them up on his hngeis ,£} v weir twcl\e good men and tiue_ I lie foieman had made a mistake."' No teai The twelfth gentle. nan had been w indeii.ig lound the Couit taking a stioll and k> lt tned He saw a \ acant place zu the jui\ box, and had a li'f-t Didn t know it wa.s a jui\ box Didn t know what a, jur\ was,. Onl\ telt tiied Then, the ieaJ juiMiian appealed m Hip doorway wiping his mouth and the point was -sol\ed The supeunte.ideiit ot one of the Wellington Sunda\ schools is a ngid T f I AH lus favouiite lnmns tieat ot in<f.u ouute be \ e rage One lecent Sunda\, lu> was paiticulaih annovpd b ih',> v\ ldent lack of enthusiasm in the cluld1011 He ga^e out the hunn. Little Drops of Watei " and " he continued tor goodness sake put a little spa it into it as I do." His tuends have been botheimg him e\ er since b\ asking it ho icallv meant it. * * • The Commonwealth mihtai\ people aa-e having the &arne old tiouble abiut tlieir Coionation Contingents S\dne\ 'big wigs." with large sons who ha\o never done anything but grow, ha\e been pestenng the authonties to allow their non-combatant sons to flaunt it in the coionation piocession. Sydney-side papeis have been veiy emphatic m opposing the right of men other than South African Contingontcrs to swell a ohest a.t the ciowniug festivities. Probably, that is why the Federal War Office is allowing fifty per cent, of "t& Coronation Contingent to be composed of fat, fair-weather swaddles of standard weight and height. * • * Thcie aie some budding hiemen in New tow n. Peihaps, you ha\e not seen the juvenile file bngade. Caieenng down Riddifoid-sticet one lecent night as soon at, the hrebell lang out, was a miniature "engine '' w ith lanterns biichtl\ burning, a look oi gum deteimination about the diner and a bu«-i-nesislikc* settling into thc> collai" bv the horses" m the tiacc- Hea\en help the di^ or 'bus that got m the way. The whole bngade jelled with a olume of sound bom of good health and spmts, and the traffic cleaied like chaft befoie a southeih buster " Tlie juvemlp bnorade pulled up with a great nounsh thiee and a half minutes aftei Ihe giown-ups had got to work the superintendent" skipped down from the box, and issued his commands in a shall tieble. Then the senioi fireman unhooked the fifteen inches of garden hose from the back of the engine, and the crowd itood in bieathless expectancy Next morning theie was no fiie to be Another from the fiont" IXmng the time when it was a ciazc with fashionable women to think that they wye hospital muses- the South Afiican liospitaJs being full of them one veiv fashionable woman was given a wounded man 1o attend to On looking >t Imi- patient she became vei\ nidianant T must ha\e a daik man " she <=aid ausnK Can't \ou see T am i blonde J "

The sou of a Dannevirke resident recently got married. Before taking this important step m life, he decided > o change his surname, which was causing him considerable annoyance, and exposing him to ridicule owing to the resemblance it bore to a rodent that figures largely in the bubonic plague epidemic. The newly-married man was, perhaps afraid that if he retained his original name any longer he would be captured, and sold for 3d. * r- * A country paper publishes a curious, account of a suicide in its district — ' On Thursday morning deceased got up to go to work, and made the usual preparations. When his wife went downstaiis, however, about half-past seven, she found him dead. He was hanging from a coid About twelve months ago deceased was found dead in a similar manner." Let us hope they will bui\ him deep this time, or there will bo no end to that poor wife's worries. • # * A small boy on the Quay one recent da,\ attracted quite a number of sympathetic bv-standers by his plaintive cries He w as sitting on a kerb, howling pretty badl\ What was the matter? Oh. he'd lo&t a half-penny Soon half-a-dozen boys were looking for that halfpenny. "Why, here it is," said a juvenile fiiend "but — why, it's a soveieia;n " 'Let's see," said the loser, ajid scabbed it. ' If ," he added, "I'd a <:a.id it was a pound some of you fellows would a 'ad your foot on it in no time So Ions;' 1 and he dived

The Auckland Harbour Board have got another white elephant on their hands. Cahope Dock was the first. It would have eaten the head off jbhe unfortunate Board only the Admiralty took compassion, and agreed to pay a subsidy on certain terms, which involved a further Jairge outlay And now, a second white elephant' is in the Northern menagerie It consists of a large and costly mansion for the Admiral, which the Board insisted on building in spite of the Admiral's blunt statement at the out&et that he was not going to live in Auckland. * ♦ • And, now that it is finished, they have persuaded Admiral Beaumont to have a look at this palace. He says it is pretty, but far too large for him. Also, that he couldn't think of bringing over a retinue of servants to go into residence at Admiralty House for such brief and wide-ap&rt intervals as duty called ham to New Zealand. The Harbour Board's only hope is that King Dick may be prevailed on to demand a special squadron for New Zealand, with an Admiral of its own, who will be obliged to kye in Auckland, and occupy Admiralty House. We hear that Colonel Davis, before he went away with the Ninth Contingent, jocularly suggested another way out of the difficulty. He said when he came baick from South Africa to resume command of the Auckland volunteer district, Admiralty House would do very well for him. He would not bo too' proud to live in it. Kre lnanving me she'd sweetly sing; Her voice entranced my ear like "ping, ' While mine — round mellow — flowed along, And harmonised with hers as "pong." But now my vocal chords can ring Onh a weak and plaintive "ping" ; While oftener far, and twice as strong M\ wife's, resound like "pong, pong. Geoige Wirth, of the big circus, tells a vain about one of his cleverest, although still young, hands. During his pievious visit to New Zealand, he discfHOicd a small boy nefariously trying to steal underneath the bottom of the tent He told him that boys who came in b\ that entiance were usually thrown to the tigois and he facetiously ordered a aioom to thiow him in to those wild animals The boy was not scared, and he said he wa« too thin to satisfy the hunger of thofeo felines He promised that if3.ii Wiith would let him see the shou lie would peisuade all his fat boy friends in town to crawl under the tent 'Then." he said, "you'll have something like a feed for the tigers."' The boy's entrance into circus life dates fioia that night. * • « Do you give gas here?" asked a wildlooking man who rushed into a Willisstreetdentistiv on Monday afternoon last 'We do." replied the young and Jalentod dentist 'Does it put a fellow to sleep?" ' It does " ' You could break his jaw and ne w ouldn't feel it ?" ' He would know nothing about it.'' ' Well, that's do. Got it all ready W a fellow to take 9" 'Ye". Take a seat in this chair, and show me your tooth." "Tooth be hanged l " said the excited caller, beginning rapidly to remove his coat and vest. 'I want you to pull a porous plaster off my back."

Auckland is the Now Zealand home ot ciuelt\ The hor&es m that city me tin hardest woiked, sorest shouldered lot in tlus country, the streets the steepest clii\(»r&' objurgations the most pioiound and the inspector for die SP C A the busiest, and worst-paid, indn ldual possible Latest from 'he Queen C it\ is that pigeon shots allow ''gentlemen" with spoiting dogs to •tiam' them on pigeons maimed Iv guns Tiap pigeon shooting is unconscioimbh cruel at the best, but allow ma, \ oung dogs to be "blooded" m this fashion is hideous. The 'gentlemen ' should try a charge of shot ..i then spoi tsmanlike legs and induce a you'ia dog, to worn the wound. It's fine tun ' Odd little yarn about a tried and ti usted hiend'. A gentleman up-coun-tn, owcr" suspicious about eveivbodv and his wite in particular, took his boso.n friend into his confidence. Would he do him the favour of keeping lias w eathei eye lifting, and let him know the result 9 '"Certainly, old chap, depend on me " He knows the result now . In Di voice Court proceedings lecentlv the name of the co-respondent was synom mous with that of the tried and trussed fuend aforesaid Curious thing about the case mentioned is that the suspicious one is himself cited to appeal as co-respondent in the case of Blank v Blank and another • • • Station holders in the Wairarapa are breeding cats to cope with the rabbit pest The cat is the natural enemy of the labbit — sometimes kitty m a wild state piefeis birds and mace to raibbits. He will kill a rabbit now and then, but, havmo strolled into a burrow once or twice with a well-satisfied appetite, he will hatermse and make his home there m peace and amit\ This is not a fairy tale but a plain statement of expenence - Tliev lighted upon an excessively polite ami accommodating kind of prisoner up North the other day. He was chaiged with theft, and with a bland simile lie offeied to plead guilty—although he' was perfectly innocent— l ust to save the police the trouble of a lemand Perhaps, he is related to the othei polite gentleman who w anted to rescue a lady from drowning, but restrained himself from doing so because he had not been intioduced to her. * * * In the mattei of General Babs and another Said other is alleged to be a local staff officer. The scene, a smart social function, and the place an anteroom Staff officer indignant, and with a complaint. "That bounder Buddies (mentioning a local merchant) actually mistook meforawaitah Of couise, an apolo°\ was made afterwards.' "And did the w aiter accept it ?" purred the geneial Probably, the staff officer will at once go back to his plough.

A goklfields paper sa-s s Milk jjul kerosene were difficult to obtain in Sunday morning." Wliat brand ot sulphuuc must he haie got outside ti on Saturday night when he wanted that kind of pick-me-up 2 * * * Touching thos,e Geinuu lotten tickets, w Inch Mr XII, MH R nghtlv wants prohibited, did anyone c\ ei neai ot a New Zealand holdei of one drawing a prize? The\ are piatt^ plentifully distributed throughout these isles but the cash coes out and doo-s. not return a hundredfold or at all If we've got to gamble, let us put our little bit" in a Bntish concern Perhaps the Tatteisails of the Fatherland have heaid about the little gambling storm m Australia. Am how the\ aie exploiting New Zealand moie than evei before * * * Another New Zealand Tommj"\ain. At Wallerstroom, while the Seventh were resting, the officers tried to get up nigger minstrel entertainments to keep all hands in spirits, as the mm had run out. They had lots of talent, but. not much tucker. They raked out severaJ whistling artistes, fixed up a tambourine out of an old biscuit tin, and discovered a flautist and i tlier gifted warriors "O'Shannessy la^ s the bones, doesn't he?" said the organising officer to one of the men "Yes, I'll go and warn him to turn un." He did. 'But I haven't any bones now." said the talented one 'I J'te 'em " * # • Sometimes one gets a good vaudeville show in a billiard-room. Not a bad little farce was played out m a Lambton Quay hotel on Tuesday evening. Thereto came a swaggering individual with the air of one who immistakabh asked, "Do you know who I am?" Nobody did, and so he told them lie was Chalks, the professional billiardist Would anybody have' a game with him ° Nobody could play billiards good enough to risk it most of them said and the great one knocked the ivory about in a desultory way "on his own." ' I'll have a game with you " said a meek-looking little- man. whose wife had evidently given him a shilling to go out and dissapato * • ♦ The great one ' broke " and scored 33 off the red, and then stopped to give the little man a show Little man a miss, great one 50. Little man moie mis®, great man 85 Meek one still conscientiously scored nothing and the professional chalked his stick, and airogantlv demanded ' Shall I go on 2 " 'Yos I'm a bit off-colour but I'll f ry to catch up " and immediately put on another beautiful "duck-egg " ' Wliv I don't believe you've ever played before p " said he of the arrogance ' I ne\er have" replied the meek one but nobody else would play you, and T thought I'd obhae you " Thereafter no moie ariogance

Two frli.u\sty citizens were refreshing at a Lambton Quay bar the other afternoon, when the weather was warm. One of them seemed to have been out in. the sun for some time, and the other citizen was advising him strongly on the soore of health to try longer intervals oetween his quenchers. "Yes," hiccupped the out-in-the-sun lrngator, "our lodge doctor told me the last time he called that drink is very lowering," and thereupon he tossed off another mnt. Strange thing, though," remaiked the other citizen, as he- noted the event that the more drink \ou lower ihe more elevated you get " • ♦ * Natural I v now that King Dick is well on the way to his coronation, nis Knghsh admirers aie raking up yarns about him. Tay Pay O'Connor, in M A P.. gets a tale from somewhere. Once, when Mr. Seddon was travelling in a. steamer on the Taranaki coast, ho treated the saloon passengers to a fewsongs one evening The captain — a political enemy — stuck to the deck, and would not go down to share m the entertainment Seddon saw him afterwards, and said, upbraidingly "Why didn't you come down to hear the singing?" "Singing?" replied the skipper, "T didn't know there was any poiiig on. I heard a deuce of a noise, but I thought it was the lowing of the cattle we have aboard '"

Mr. t'ha,rles Cai lisle Ta^ loi , th<> < ciicral manaigei foi Australasia ot the Equitable Lite Assurance Societ\ has been in Wellington since the middle ot last week, and lias left the impulsion that lie is a born hustlei, and that what he does not know in the life-taking line is not worth bothering about He is not a big man by any means- -rathei on the small side, "in fact — and he makes no fuss, but he is \ery wide awake and takes in every point in the landscape Ovei in Sydney, where his heiadqua.rters are, he drnos a len st\hvh four-m-hand, and has tooled" moie than one Goa ernoi out to the latos. Mr. Taylor, however, did not come 01 ci to Wellington for social telaxatio.i 01 to figure in, the public e\e His \ isit w as purely on business. * * * First of all, he summoned the \anous branch managers to Wellington, and treated them to a series of nloasant httle talk-s— aJI relating to__ the best methods of conquering New Zealand for the Equitable Then, there «as a. capital luncheon, aJI the jollier because it was quite informal, and finally there was a convivial dinner at the Royal Oak on Monday night, which passed off is merrily as the proverbial marriage belJ. The toast of the evening was Success to the Equitable, which was proposed, m a nea,t speech, bv the nopular \\ c - hngton manager. Mi. Tievoi who coupled with it the name of rhe generaJ manager. * * • Mr. Carlisle Tayloi made a camtal speech in reply. It was pitched in a major key, of couise. He pointed with pride to the tact that m the hist forty years of its euxistence the Kouitable had distributed on account of policies seventy-five millions sterling, besides accumulating for the benefit ot its clients a sum three times as large a.s the united capital of all the banks opei - ating in Australia and New Zealand, and had also set aside and safeh nvested a reserve fund which by the ?nd of this year, will be as large as the capital of the Bank of England. He considered New Zealand to he, in many lespeots the best life insurance territory in the world and he was highly pleased with the way in which the interests ot the Equitable were being advanced bv its officers. * • * Mr Carlisle Tavloi learnt his business in the Ne^ York office of the Equitable, but he is not an American He was born m India m 1863, and is the son or Captain Ralph Taylor and the grandson of Sir Henry Taylor, G.C.B. At the age of thirty-two he was sent out to Australia as general manager of the Equitable in this quarter of the w oriel He takes, rather more than a passing interest, in Wellington for, in October last he was married to a charming Wellington girl in the person ot Miss Sawers daughter of the present superintendent of the Bank ot Australasia A good many years ago Mr Sawers was the popular branch manager of his bank m Wellington and on the bank premises, in Lambton Quay, where the famih lived, the present Mrs Taylor was bom.