It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 95, 26 April 1902, Page 22

It is Town Talk

-That local bookies' aie not cjnmg Midi lu'dw ockls, against peace as hnmetl\ -That one good tiling about matriim,m is that it makes a man bhink moiT and talk loss That G-eoigc Fisher rn.u\e the speech of the e\emngat the Oddfellow <- banquet on Fnda\ night That if biead continues to rise m price a,s it is doing now , it w ill -soon be lUond the reach of the pooler classes -That ex-Inspectoi Pender the G () M of the police, is writing his autobiogiapln It ought to make good leading —That the Boaid of Education do not seem to be in a deuce of a hurry about filling up the Thorndon school heartmastership —Tliat a man spends os in a certain paper advertising for ' a recipe foi the scientific rew»ei\ of lost souls Apply, chief w aider, Porirua " —That according to a \eturned tripper from Svdne% . 'tis probable that the G P 0 will shorth be quarantined It is infested with rats -That, according to iecent tiavellers S^clnevites think far less of then plague troubles than Auckland does of its single plague myth —That if Masterton Imperial Troops Reception Committee can raise another "fiver" they are gome to nay the bills in connection with that event —That players of the "manly game" will be deliehted to hear that the new distinctive Ping-pong button is all the raare. for ladies' and gents wear —That an exchanse has an a£ ie ] c on the funeral of the future " We have often heard of the "dead past » but we supposed the future was vet alive — That in Tom Wilford's sone at the Oddfellows' spree "Won't you take me hick to Dixie " was good but wlu would he persist in saving to Dix s —That St. Paul's, Wellington, seems to be in a bad way. It is losing its Fortune, and Mr. Sprott is doubtful whether this Fortune can be re-placed —That King Dick made a masterstroke in Sydney at once by referring to himself as a "politician and every political Australian as a "statesman. —That the pirating Oddfellows pronounced the mayoral reception to be the drvest weathei they have experienced this year. Not even a bottle of lemonade. -That Hi« Worship the Mayor has decided to join the Oddfellows He will then be in the bonds of brotherhood with the Premier who has been a financial member for the past thirty years That there is one citizen w ho thinks the new water scheme is too adequate altogether. He can't see what citizens want with water He does not use it —That at the bioscope show, the other night, a Jack Tar was restrained with difficulty from "rescuing the martyred Joan of Arc shown m the animated pictures. — That an absent-minded Dixiaai shocked a Wellington verger on Sunday morning last bv tendering fotir shillings and brightly saving 'Two dress circle, please " —That the Waihi Company's evasion of the Arbitration Court's award by adopting the contract system via day wagof, is to be the subject for lots ot talking piesentlv. —That a correspondent, writing iioni Sydney, remarks that at Mr. Seddon's welcome banquet nearly half of the w elcomers were New Zealanders Loyal to king and country That a Wairarapa lady aftei many years of marriage, has discovered she "has made a mistake. She has recently rectified it by running away with her affinkv, a youth half her age — That one visiting Oddfellow, who is not a bad fellow , w ill not be odd much longer During the Wellington Confeier.cei he has decided to run in double harness with a Wellington girl. — That the latest recruit to the Wellington Referees' Association — B. Rash —will have to be better than his name if he dot's not w ant to be run over and bashed about on the football ground. — That it is delightful to hear that at a suburban Salvation Army meeting a disturbing hoodlum, with pugilistic tendemcie<- had an opportunity of showing what a poor fist he could make with an athletic Salvationist He looks at the world through darkened ' windows" just now.

That certain South Ahican battlefields shown in local animated pietuies bnne back to memoi \ the dcai old da\^ ot 'App\ 'Am^tead 'l ( atli -That a Wellington man who, ten \ea,is d»o «.i^ (hopping bush foi a h\1112, has locentlv puuhased window seats to i leu the coionatnm foi 14 id That attei a it cent Wanganui C ollege skills cncket match, some ot the forme i pupils weie anno\ed because the local papei leleiied to them as old gn Is " That the vegetable Johns ot Wellington a«re taking; ach antago <ii: piosent of tlie glonous constitution that allow <- white black and aollow justice — if the-v can affoid to pa\ foi it That aft on the bioscopic bull fight on Tuesday night a bucolic gentleman m the audience went to the managei and ofteied him a aood lound sum foi that theie black bull that wasn't killed" That a counti\ papei remaiks that Vent 01 Smit Heit/og Lotter and other Boer leader Inn c been sold and have lealisecl good puces. Peicv Di\ wheio were yon when the lots weie put up 9 — That Tom Mann is to be asked to stand as a candidate foi the Waiapu seat at the next election. Natural lv Tom will shift his moving camp a few days' march nearer Gisborne right away — That many citizens aie starting now to grow potatoes. Flour is going out of fashion £4 a ton rise in three months ' It is hoped the Combine's bump of benevolence does not inconvenience it — That a Wclhngtonian fathei , who wozks in the Government Buildings has lust celebrated the arrival of twins bv registering: them as ' Pine" and Pone ' This game is ie«nonsible for a good many f i oaks — That at a certain tonev restauiant the management would do well to strain the burnt crusrts out of the coffee before seivmp: Considering bread is goin"- up to include burnt crust is dear Ti\ burnt maize — That the Petone Naval Artillen aie proposing fo attend in full force at the Onera Hou«e, to see "Our Navy " Lieutenant Archibald saw the show in Dunedin. and has been singing it" praises ever since — That recently a bankrupt's meeting was duly advertised m a near-by town None of the creditors turned up. although the amounts involved weie laree. It didn't matter, howevei The bankrupt wasn't there --That the Wellington Tree Planting and Soencn Preservation Society deserve public support, for they make a little money e,o a long way in making the city more attractive, in spite of the vandals who infest Jacob's Ladder. — That Dr. Pennefather is worth a tidy penny to old St Paul's. Up to date lie has donated £100 to the kindergarten fund. And in soite of his name and 'his interest in tho^e kindergarten voungsteis, he remains a bachelor — That Colenbiandcr the gieat Afncan lion hunter, who is plaMiig up with Johnny Boer at present • swagged'' it incog, through New Zealand m 1872 His brother, who came from Africa with him, ultimately settled in Port Augusta, South Australia — That no clvil service billets aie to be sown indiscriminately bv heads ot departments m future Wheiefoie the wail of the incompetent though faithful friend, will be heard throughout the land, and the underpaid who works haird for his chance, has a show at last — That Mi. Frank Kvans who was for some time, on the Premiei's staft of private secretaries, has joined his bi cither, Mr. E. Campbell Evans, latch ot England m the lattei 's dentistrs business in Castle-street, Dunedin. Gumdigging is more profitable than quilldriving. --That Minister Hall-Jones put his toot into it when he told the unemphned deputation that the man who acheitjjses lumself is afraid of woik. The deputation sniggered for the_\ knew that the fortunate men are the ones who advertised themselves . and who did their best w ork bv advertising. — That. Cims," of the Witness" has been informed b\ some imaginative correspondent that the street boys of Wellington take the '"E.R." of the new royal monogram, being set over the Post Office, as meaning "Empeioi Richard." A bit fai -fetched, seeing that thene is no royal monogram visible theie at all. — That there is no immediate fear of the Government actang on an alleged official report to cany their thiough railway line from Bunny thorpe to Ashiirst, and then to Wellington. It ■might bring the tiip fiom New Plymouth over the ranges, within forty minutes of that by the Manawatu. but Palmotston's scjueal would be too loud, and the haulage over the Rnnutakas would be awful.