ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 94, 19 April 1902, Page 3

ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

THU mm\ solid-looking Victonan Labour Commission that sat in Wellington dining last week compnWi some of Victonas best-known men Chan man A R Outturn, ML A ot Mar\boiough, formerly \ictonan Minister of Mines, is not the least interesting. He is a big little man, «ho crei,eiall\ instils confidence in the witnesses befoie the Court, and who is liked b\ all the members of the C ommission tor his calmness and comteM. £10bablv theie is no one of the membeis who "knows more about \ ictorian politics than he does for he is a very old political stager, and he nan owl v escaped being leadei of the Opposition in place of the present-day loader Mr Irving He is a wealtlu man, but he doesn t flaunt the fact Re is cool deliberate and «p.irs specatclos He also looks as if he lived well and liked eve^bodv else to do so * * Mr F H Biomley, M L.C. anothei prommc.it member of the Commission pumps a deep voice up from the depth. of his boots. He speaks as one having authoirU and indeed he has Me is piesulent of the Melbourne Trades Hall, and ot the Woiking Men's College besides being leader of the Laboui Paitv. Although Mr Biomlev appears general U as 'if 1^ ttcie attending his own funeial, he frequently seems to think the said funeral is a humorous attair Hi* sense of humour was recently exemplified bv Ins taking Mr Allan Orr with the utmost seriousness even when Allan fired off a thade against a local newspapei Mr Bromley has a big brann head with a "mathematical forehead and one foi gives his sepulchral style in admiration of his conciseness and close leasonma, ♦ * Mr Reed M L C , the buih , healths softwoods mei chant, from Victoria, has not a trouble. He regards lite as a wood lokc and Labour Commissions as a pastime Very often he breaks out into asking a nuestion that leads one to imagine that during all the time one has believed him to be thinking of dinnei he ha.s realU been cxtiemelv attentive to labour matteis • ML C Geoige Godhu\ is a distinctly Jewish looking gentleman whom Mr Outturn introduces as "a leader of the Victonan bar " He doesn't lead it now for he gives his time to politics. Also, when the Commission rs m a quanclaiv as to the intucacies of oui labour laws Mr Godfie\ seizes the Act and the opportuniU to intoipret its misty clauses. Of course, you know that the posseesoi of that at.uihne nose has carved his way to fortune" and you are not, therefore, surprised to hear that his position i« something better than ' comfortable. He snaps words off as though theie was httle time, and he is fidgettv of delay His brain has grown through his tophair a bit, but this only adds to a tout ensemble that denotes power and gives an air of distinction. * • • Mr Stemberg, the Beadigoian M L C , is also a Jewish gentleman of large wealth. He married the daughter of that well-known Bendigo speculator and financier, Mr Lazarus and he has amassed much lucre. He has a distinctly handsome personality and he has the disposition of his race to look closely into the financial side of labour questions.

Mr Law son, the Castlemame M.L A has the distinction of bemß the youngest member m the Victonan L<>gislatn cAssembh Theie is no doubt that Mi Law son is a coming man m A ictouan politics He is the son ot a Picsbvtenan pardon, and he is a fine specimen of the better-class Austiahan i>ie, and broad shoulde-ied, clean shaven with a leomne head, he instantK atti acts attention He is a good speaker but not a spouter." The people of C astlemame (by thewav, a district celebiated foi beer' and aaricultuie) think a gieat deal of him, principally because hoi* c\o\ or and sincere but also because lie can pla\ cricket and football m tip-top Mi Bennet-t ML A who with the notable Trcnwith shaies the honoui oi representing Richmond m the ictoiian House oozes sood humour At home he is a cordial manufactuiei with an immense business, and abioad In- is lust as cordial. He is celebiated foi lm desire to make evervbodv happy and Bennetts picnics are another name foi the finest 'outings' employees e\ ci set Hip \erv blunt Questioning of witnesses in Wellington who know something; about lemonade and the men who eait it shows that he is on the look out toi paints, to apply at home He is of the stnui «-olid tvpp and giows a monstacho that '-hows that the soil is good " Quite the most interesting pei sonage - from a New Zealand point ot wcw — among, the Commission, is the shoithand wntei Mi. Harrington Wade Mi Wade is tho genial, jolly, lcd-faced son of the Rev W. R Wade one of New Zea land's eaiihest missionai les Fact is, Ro\ Wade was in this counti\ when theie were but 000 whites heie, awa\ back m 183 d Parson Wade, who laboured in New Zealand, and subsequently m Australia, left his son a valuable legacy This i& the biggest sample of the common flea (pulex irntans) that has e\ er been captured in New Zealand or outside and which would defy the strongest finders of the stiongest housewife to orack The Rev. Wade did not know that the monstrosity, nearly 2\m acioss the back, was, a flea, and he me* eh bottled it up and kept it Mr Harrington Wade took the animal to the G-ovemment entomologist some time ago and discovered that it was in very truth a member of the nntatin- tube * * * He ha<s also some extreme^ valuable Maon cunos, collected bj the earl> missionaiN Wade neai Auckland was named after the shorthand writer's, rathei Mi Wade is a good shoithand writer, and he has made millions of scratches, touching almost every subject under the sun duting the past ten years He wntes an improved Gurne\ s\^tem which enables the whole of the Government w ntpis to lead each othei's notes. And he tells a Lance man that the system is invaluable tor assisting the imagination. In Ins pi oofs once he discovered a tianscnbed word that he had nevei wntte« Ho approached the amanuensis who had transcribed his note and demanded an explanation "Well, it's in the copy Sn " and the chief examinina, it carefully found it eeitamlv was it n,i<- a fly speck' # * * The was instituted bv Mr Webb on© time in the seivicc of tlie Victorian Government, and afterwards Judge Webb Mr. Bell, son of the late pioprietor of the Dunedin 'Star" perpetuated the system, and Mr. Wade took up his work as chief ten v P ars since B-s the wa^ , Mi Bell is coming to NewZealand shortly ais managing director of the Dunedin "Star." Mr. Wade says tht note of interrogation" is becoming of increasing importance m politics. The people demand to have full knowledge of eveivthing and Commissions such as those for which he is shorthand wiiter materially assist a Parliament especi-

dll\ it said Paihament should be weak. The passion for inquiry is summed up m the name of a Chinaman, inscribed on lus cait— Mi. Wade noticed it on cno of Ins toius— ' Ah Whn .-'" (We add the quei\ ) Mi Wado has kept fiesh dunng all his veais ot toil by being happ\ . He h\os at Kew (Melbourne), and has a lo\eU little house and a garden. He is fond of flowers His ehildien help to pick them How ma,n\ chiklion 9 Thnteen the Commission will tell you "Nine" says Mr. Wade. He ha,s been ma.rned twice, and altogther his sparkling evp« good teeth healthy breezy manner aiKH er your mental query "Is marriage a failure?" by shouting "No 1 " He if- a evmnast a cricketer and an enthusustic golfei He is vice-president of a golf club, and when lie is not turnma: out phonetic symbols and fly specks by the mile, he will be found with something in the shape of a stick knocking about something in the shape of a ball * * • King Dick was in an Empire-making mood on the occasion of the citizens' lunch to the Tenth Contingent last Saturda\ The Piemiei was declaiming about things in general, the Ainu's, duty to colonial soldieis, shot and shell, gallant lads, and the errand old flag At the =ummit of his peioration he still mentioned the grand old nag, which is so "largely represented hoTc to-do.\ " And, as he said so,, he turned from north to south, from east to west, and scanned the hundreds of \.™d« of eyervbodv's bunting but Biitam's Not a .Jack" in sight' Dick remarked that he had a bone to nick with the res-nnental tailoi , who had forgotten to measure him for a uniform. Seeine however that the tailor wanted to save the Government from overdrawing its account b^ undertakine so steep a contract, Mr Seddon would go to Africa m mufti *■ * * The Premier solemnly proposed the health of Queen Alexandra, and a gentleman m khaki, with two stars, and who should have know n better remarked in the key of G, that "He's a jolly good fellow'" What aire you about ? " loaied the Premier, but the troops had caught the infection, as also had the piano and while the distinguished guests God saved " those lusty khakiherO'S sung For he's," etc., to the bittei end * * * Noticeable that the frock-coated, bell-to-ppeied ciowd on the right flank called foi Three cheers foi the Premiei," w hile the disciplined troops veiled, Good old Dick " ' Good old Dick" noticed it too and laughingly called the attention ot a pressman to the fact. Seems to us he likes the latter title best A lady the wife of a distinguished officer, who was sitting alongside the Premier, naively queried "What are \on going to say to-day Mr. Seddon ?" ' I really couldn't tell you. Madam," replied he as if ho were the merest tyro, on his maiden speech Of the subjects upon which Dick trenchantly touched whole books might be written, however * * * Touching that meal, it would do no harm another time to wash the straw off the plates. It's nice to have new tilings of course, but the straw wasn't new , foowei er recent the purchase of china The half-caste Maon, who insisted on jumping on a chair and haranguing in his native language, won't have to talk that way in Africa, or else h • won't be mistaken for a Britisher. A Lance man had an entertaining confab , with a trooper in the back-yard of the Dnllshed. Trooper impressed the scribe with the not otherwise apparent fact that "he had been to Africa afore," and then he proceeded to rave against the "scrubbers of horses tihe men had to ride " "See that there sorag on the 'koppvgee' over there?" he said, point-

mg to a horse on a small knoll. We did see it "Well, the 'osses we rode m the charge at Bothasberg w ould knock spots oft him." Wonder why people wont read their papers before starting out to rival Ananias ? * * * The Premier leads people just as easily as if they \\ ere mere copies of statutes, and understands them equally well. During his late rapid flight, per special tram, through the country, he pulled up at Pahiatua, where, of course, the population of that town were gathered to see their king, and wish Mm luck at his coronation. An excited youth with an incipient moustache, implored the Premier to allow him to travel on that special to Oarterton, as it waR "of the utmost importance that lie should be in that town that evening." The Premier gave the required permission, and remarked that if the youngster wasn't in Oarterton in good time there would be a sadly-disappointed damsel there that night. The population of Palnatua guffawed, and the youth blushed so vividly that it was quite evident that King Dick, in one shot, had struck the reason for that youth's anxiety. Tom Mann's colonial couch is not exactly a bed of roses. What with allegations that he is imported and paid by the liquor party , Scotsmen, who query beJhcoseJy whether he has done an honest day's work , and others, who protest he is a socdal saviour, Tom ought to be a good deal thinner than he is He is hard at work on the millers' trust at present, and a Southern paper thinks oaustioallv "it was a cold day for their business when the ex-Battersea liquor seller and ex-English prohibition orator came to the colony." The fact that Mann was a publican does not seem to be a logical reason why he should quit talking against the Flour Trust, and the alleged fact that the ex-publican is also an ex-prohibitionist is certainly a trifle astray. If, in the multitude of Mann's chaff there is a grain of wheat that will help choke the growth of combines he is doing more good than a unfriendly press can do in raking up almost forgotten episodes and epithets for a man who, at least has a right to follow what occupation he chooses, so long Ms it is an honest one » * ♦ King Edward is in a financial quandary, they say, concerning the theatres on the night of Coronation Day. According to precedent, which is law in England, they must all be free to the public, and the sovereign must pay the managers the full prices, so that the entertainments may be a royal gift to the public At the coronation of Queen •Victoria this precedent was followed, all the twenty-two shows from Drury Lane downwards being crowded. But the expense of these twenty-two places of amusement was only about £2000, whereas tihe fifty theatres now open, at the largely-increased prices, would be at least £10,000 — a large sum to come out of the King's privy purse. Under the circumstances. King Edward is likely to establish quite a different kind of precedent for himself. » • ♦ Rev Haskett Smith, who was in New Zealand for three or four months a few years ago, and who was also nearly two months in Australia, is evidently annoyed He is calling colonials rude names at Home iust now, because a little boy in these wilds noticed that the cleric was fat, and said so. "Colonials are bumptious,' says Mr. Smith, "and they don't treat their superiors with proper respect." Well perhaps, Mr. Smith has not done anything to attract attention barring putting on weight, and if he'll break the one hundred yards record, or do something really great from a colonial youth's point of view, we can promise him more "respect" next time hr> comes along.

Xev} great sympathy it> felt in Wellington, art the sudden affliction which has depmodMr. Manton, of tlie him ot EJUs and Man ton ot his loung wile, and left his week-old infant mothei k\ss The child was horn last week, and Mis Manton, who appealed to be making a good reco\ei\ died lathei suddenh on Sunday night at hei lesdence in Sussex Scjuare Tho uigent wne which Mint tinougli to Auckland tJiat e\ ('11111? announcing hei u"(\ptcted deatli would b«. a giea,t. shock to hei tamih . Mis Manton, prior to her marriage eighteen months ago, was Miss Beitha Peioie She was the «eeond daughter of Mi Albeit De\ore the well-know n sohntoi . who was in paitnei ship with Mi Then Cooper (now Judge Coopei) and who for a number of leais was Ma\oi of Auckland Mis Devoiewas on a \ isit to her daughtei at the time of the lattn's death. » ♦ * Mr Waltei H Phillips Waihi s nisi ma\oi is in the fiist blush of his <vulv thirties, and is a solid man in moie ways than one. We wouldn't mention him, but that he is now chief magistiate ot New Zealand's most important mining town He is the son of the late Mi Horatio Phillips, who was foimeih one of the oldest identities 011 the Thames, and who was. tor man > ieais headmastei of the Kauaeianga Boys' School. Walter speculated with good effect dm ma, the 1 aging of the Upper Thames boom. He subsequently managed toi Hague Smith and Co., the big uonmongeis, and afterwaids started in to accumulate money b) lionmongeimg 'on his own in Waihi The othei da\ , when the glad tidings weie yelled among the poppetheads that Walter was Mayor, the population although he weighs fifteen stone earned him as near shoulder high as they could get him. Also, they gave him a jagged, knobby chunk of timber, four inches through, which they called a walking stick, to help keeip ordei in the Council." Also, probably because he never wore a bell-topper in Ins life, a Waihi firm is givin" him one of Lincoln and Bennetts best. Coveied with brown Daper, however, it may make a -waste-paper basket, the only reasonable employment for the ridiculous British badge of lespectabihtv. * * * Captain Jack Hughes, D.S.O , wasn't big enough to go to the coronation, although he tried haul. The War Office said fie could go to the front again, aoid he has gone with the Tenth. The Commandant's office staff did not let Jacky" go without letting him know they were sorry All hands, therefore, foregathered, and gave him even compliment that is needed for the successful cremation of the pernicious- weed. Jack" has probably had more presentations made to him than any other officer m the Nero Zealand forces, and we don't know anyone who descries them better. * # * Mr. Fred. W. Duval, Percj Dixs general manager, has been at it again He has dug up another ston from the Stage Recollections.' which he means to publish one of these days It is a story of the West Coast goldfields about the time a slump was on. Two compank s w ere following each other round, and as the proprietors were fnendh it was arranged that, when returning thanks to hi's patrons, the boss of number one wa,s to announce the advent of number two, with a few words of puff. When the proprietors met, some weeks aftoiwards boss number two taxed number one with not keeping his word in a certain town re the announcement. PlOprietor number one thought a moment and then smilingly said "Well I didn't forget., old man , I intended to announce 1 you but — the man went out."

Can am one toll us whole Mi N A McLeod is^ asks tlio Obs.cn ci." A weok 01 two ago ho \va& an eneigetic member ot the Boaid of Education, and w«is supposed to he angling once moie lor tihe Liheial \ ote foi the Bay ot Islands scat Now he ha.% suddenh icsigned his seat on the Board ot Kduca turn, and DaigaAille knows him no longei. He was down at the Devon, saung good-b^e' to the Ninth Contingent and it is suggested that he ma\ ha\e boon cained off by mistake. But if this weio so the Devon called at S\ dne-\, and Mi. MeLood miglit eas>ih ha\o cabled to Ins fncncls , • » It is known that -Mi McLood who u.ih a, pushing \oung law\ei at Daiga\ille, on the Noitliom Wanoa was ambitious to heroine an officer in the Ninth, d\u\ it is sugao.st.ed That King Dick may ha\e confeiied a ro iimission on him at thelastmome.it Ot course thciewas a hubbub about eleventh-hour commissions m the Kishth, and if one were gnen to Mi McLeod on the Devon. King Dick max have kept the fact to himself But tha+- is no loason win Mi McLood's friends should not haM beei. told However the fact lemains tlrat the De\ on has gone, and thai the I/ibeira.'s arc casting around for a now c uididate for the H^ of Islands =oat But where is Mi McLeod ? * # * The Rev J Gibb Moderatoi ot the united Piesb\tenan Church m New Zealand, tells a good story at his own expense. It occurs in the couise of a senes ot articles he i& contributing to the Otago Witness" about his tup Home On the way from Brisbane to Honolulu, the only land they sighted was the lon -h nig island of Arorai, lust north of the line The chip's officeis filled up a box with ne^spapeis and some letter containing money weie )twt in for the missionaries on tlie island It made an impression on Mi Gibb's mind and he remembered it, when on the return voyage, another island was -assed * * • A box w ais again got read,y," he sa-\ s. Into thi& box I dropped a lettei addressed to the Protestant missionaries, and containing the greetings of the Moderator of the Presbyterian Chinch of New Zealand,' and a small sum of money. My feelings may be bettor imagined than described when I w a>s told afterwards that if there weie any missionaries there they were Roman Catholic®, but, said im informant Mv impression is that only cannibals inhabit the land.'" We sincerely hone Mi (iibb won't be inconsolable if it 'hould turn out that his good Presbvtenan coin has fallen into the "hands of the R C mission.

Banister Jellicoe does not understand two-up." He said so the other day. a,s a soit ot lebuke to Sn Robeit Stout, w ho told him pak-a-poo w a* as simple as that fostne pastime. Quite lefre&hing to chsco\ei something a lawyer is ignorant ot Touching those sinful Chinese, and their hornd practices, Sn Robeit Stout, says the law peinuts Europeans to gamble, but prohibits Chinamen from doing so. This us right and proper We can't hme any plagiarism of this kind horn Asia Our morality is of such a high order tlia.t we mai play pokei till we aie black in the face, 01 put our bit' on the totahsatoi , without desticmng our reputation. * * ■* B\ the way, is the despised Chow allowed to imperil his immoital soul by putting money on the totahsator? The tote should be set apart for the white man. It corrupts the Mongolian morale equalh with pak-a-poo. Wheiefore, this liimecessary license? As our yellow brothers' keeper, we humbh pray for a,n Asiatic Totahsator Restriction Bill," with provisions for big fines said hiu\s to be handed over to white people foi betting speculations, seeing that leaallv their morale don't stiff ei . * » • hx-West Coasters, and especially Reeftomtes. must have received a painful shock when they heard of the tragic doath last week of Mr. R. E. Dow ling, master at the Fitzroy School, Great Barlipr Island Richard Edgar Bowling, or Dublin Dick,'' as his old pupils used to call him, in the familiar old West Coast stUe was a man of scholarly attainments and literary tastes. His age could not have been much over fort-* On the West Coast he was populailv known, having held school masterships both at Reefton and Charleston for many years. He was greatly inspected and loved by his nurjils. Althousrh at times given to fits of passion, no one would have believed him to be truiltv of taking his own life. There are many young men in the colony, holdms good positions, who owe their advance in life to the timely words of 'counsel sriven them bv the deceased schoolmaster. -<■ * # Dunng the past few yeais, he has been away fiom the Coast, and has held appointments under the Taranaki and Auckland Educataon Boards. Mrs. Dow ling is also a teacher at a New Plymouth school, and when the sad news c une to hand the school was closed as a maik of inspect for the w r idow . Theae are one 01 two coincidences in connection with Mr. Dowling's death. Mi A. Bmnham, who w~as the chief pedagogue at the Reefton School in Mi Dowlmg's t •" ( % rl bv his own hand The two

were fast friends, and it is a little bit ounous that Mr. Dowhng should have ended hik existence on the anniversary of Mr. Burnham's death. # * * Mr. Hanlon, a Dunedan lawyei (brother of our own Mi. Hanlon, the clever chemist, of Molesworth-street), recently said that the average Dunedm whisky would drive anyone to suicide. Of course, he did not speak from experience, but merely as he wais defending a young man who had sampled it and tried to commit suicide* as a lesult. We had previously beJieved there were Scotsmen in Dunedin who knew whisky when they saw it