AFTERNOON TEA GOSSIP

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 94, 19 April 1902, Page 10

AFTERNOON TEA GOSSIP

By Little Miss Muffitt.

Theie aie 1"0 000 teacheis ot music m Geimam That is wh> theie aie so main Geiman bands knocking about. * * TUo\ hate alieady coined a woid toi w ii eless messages - Mai conip ams. Jt is too mud) ot a mouthful, howevei, to last + It is expected that the new motection.st morning paper in Sy ne, wil abfeoib the 'Australian Stai the pio tectionist evening -*■ * * When travelling In sea, Madame Melba ha,s an uppei and lowei be th S:Knot^"S^ •,o to speak. » * * Another disappointment toi oiu New Zealand girls. The Duke of Lwnster has quitted Austraha foi Home without coming over to see us in fact, he has Hiked" vis * • * A Taranaki paper wants tokmw why kerosene is (» -»d a case in * elhngton^ and 10s (xl in Stratford. I expect because Stratford storekeepers want to make a fortune, and Stiatford people aie fools enough to let them. * * * Jokn Chinamaai has either made his fortune, m else sallaJee and cabbagee and the succulent banana pay better than fossicking for gold-dust. Theie are but 800 Mongols now between Reetton and Ross. Two 3 ears ago there w ere looo.^ » There was a funny answer given bv a smaJl child in one of our public school last week. It was the grammar lesson, and the auestion was "What is the phiral of" child?" The little girl who shouted "twins" got her reply in an easy first. I heard a good one at afternoon tea m the DI C. the other day. One lady asked another "Do the Smiths keep a servant?" Her vis-a-vis answered, quite smartly, "Oh, dear no. Theyengage a good many, but they don t keep them " And then they laughed. . * * The Hotel Cecil, London, in which accommodated, if there is no royal pa, ace accommdated if there is no loyal palace to let, is sending out "A Guide to London " m which, under the heading "Other Places of Amusement, it prints a fine photogravure of a 'corner ot a bedroom'" , * * * Those delightful excursions' One elderly couple on a short jaunt to Rotorua, a week ago, were, like hundreds of others, crowded out of the hotels. lne pair camped under a tree in the Sanatorium gardens all night, the old gent, holding an umbrella over his spouse tor eight hours. * * * Queensland? weather prophet, Clement Wragge, is not by any means, the inclement rag or damp blanket you might take ham to be He has just lectured vi Brisbane on the Pans Exhibition, illustrated it with limelight views, and sung his own songs and chants to his own autograph accompaniment * » * General Babington is a keen polo player, and is a decided acquisition to the" Wellington team. I believe he was one of the^fiist ofhceis of the Army to take to the game in India. And he means to, be well mounted here, for T notice that he has just purchased Larukm. one of Mr W Clarks mounts m Auckland. * • • Undertaker" is going out of fashion on the "other side" to describe the calling of the man who gives you your last ride They are calling themselves "funeral directors " Bv and bye the chimney-sweep will call himself tho "pyrotechnic renovator," and the milkman will want to be styled the "lacteal fluid merchant " * » ♦ Mr. Wallace Brownlow, the handsome baritone, whom a sympathetic jury awarded £1282 damages for injuries received by falling through an open hotel door, has just returned to the stage. It is suggested that that verdict will probably make him a strong advocate of the Open Door policy in the theatre of international events.

II: jou want a pithy biogiapliy of Rhodes, here it is The history ot South Atuca since 1871 has been the histm> of Mr Cecil Rhodes " * * * Theie aie signs in New Zealand that theatncal people will shortly kick" demist wicore, Ono weaiy piotessmna.l says — The whole encoie system is m short, rotten. In the case of a .rreiat star one demands twice as much a,, one has paid for in the case of m«liocnties one gets twice as much as one wants Wheicfoie, brethien, let us abolish the encore once, for all * * * S\dnev Sunday Times," I see. piophesies t/hat when tho Kmpne next has <H' important war on New Zealand's hist offer of tiqops will be fi\e thousand, with an intimation of more to follow if leqiured Theie aie certain old maids in Wellington w ho prophe<sv diffeienth They want husbands befoie the\ will allow King Dick to M>nd away an\ moio Contingents. * * * The indigestible old piactice of bonng with much speechifying at banquets 1 and public dinners is (h ing out At last week's banquet to the Piemier there was only one ''speaking" toast, and at the Commercial Travellers' Association picnic, over in Sydney lecentlv, there was only one toast ' The King " and no speeches at all. What a blessed leilief ' Interesting, in the light of the gener-alh-accepted fact that Knglish legislators fare sumptuously every day, is a re-centdv-received letter from a New Zealandeir \s ho is haunting Westminster at present. Tn one day the coriespondent noticed that forty-three of the wealthiest, and greatest legislators, including 'Joe" himself, favoured the sixpenny bowl of soup, with free bread at lunch time. * * * Our recent visitor, the Countess Riaz. was a regular bonanza w lule she stayed m New Zealand. I hear, on good authootv, that she spent no less than €3000 during the three months she was I*l the colony, and that she left an order with the Maoris up at Rotoma to make her a carved Maori house. It is to cost between £300 and £400, and when finLshed it is to be sent to hei London address. * * * Dorm a,t West port and Greymouth, says an Australian paper, there are two first cousins of Mr. Joseph Chamberlain. Also that they are great admirers of "Joe," and tell many stories of the days when they went to school together. Now, I can't believe it, for if there had even been a forty-second cousin of Brummagem Joe's on the wild West Coast. King Dick would know it, and would have brought them right out to the footlights long ere this.