It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 93, 12 April 1902, Page 22

It is Town Talk

-That the latest battalion ciueix is Aie Captain Tuinci and Lieut Lewn going to t.lio front ? -That then ax of the caigo-bioachei „ getting haulei but not mute as stony ah it should be _ That Seatoun wants a septic tank while K.Htt.in<i would be all the sweetei for a tank of antiseptics --That a well-known business man has retued horn the him of which ho was a membei What foi -That still Ktng Dick continues to receive compliments Bright stai ot [he South" is the Maori's latest for him This will take some eclipsing — That someone has been asserting that E M Smith will not accept the "chan-" 'of English at the University, as several Melrose councillors w ant it — That the question of bank l«> lldav s wall come up next session, and that some members are going to make a dead set against the national saints days. —That 'Our George" was rather a thorn in the s!cle of the mercantile deputation that waited cm the Premier to change the venue of the Customhouse —That a local lady whose son wasreiectod foi the Tenth Contingent, has kindly consented to his nomination as commandant of the coronation holiday party. That a prominent bowler a la pingpong is busy during wet evenings, playing the game with his small son s marbles and the kitchen table Name please ' —That a certain local officer of high rank is careful now to look undei the table before he plays ping-pong with pretty girls after a recent Masterton experience —That the game of golf was invented m ancient times bv a lonely shepherd who had nothing better to do than to knock round stones into rabbit holes with his crook. Tli at Mastertonians are so proud of their champion rifleman, Hyde, that they have been trying to ruin him as a shot for e\er by banquetting him about four times a week. —That the threat of the Wellington Peace and Humanity Society (Limited) to start a paper to' i print what other papers refuse," will be joyful news to the erstwhile fillers of waste-paper baskets. —That Sam Smith, the New South Wales Labour man, who was flying round Wellington the other day, is likely to be the first repie'ientative of the workeis on the S\ dnev Arbitration Court. —That a local business man leceived as conscience mone\ the other day £20 that a former customer had done him out of eighteen years ago. It's a leal pity troubled consciences aie not more plentiful. —That some of the elite of Wellington cannot understand why the Government kmematograph didn't catch them at the reception of ' the dear Dook." They are quite suie the> were the most striking figures in the landscape on that occasion. —That the S.P.C A should fight hard to stop the ciuelty of fire-bianding the bodies of hoises and cattle. Hoof branding is quite as effective, and it does not sipoil the hides, which latter point should appeal to owners, if no other does — That, at a farewell to Mi Seddon up North, the chairman quite innocently remarked that "the Premier was going Home to witness the coionation of another king " And no one but a reportei who was pie^ent saw the unintended error. — That Wanarapa Homsbv, M H R lias committed a groat act of seJf-donial Actually shaved off his silken sable beard — so much admired from the Ladies' Gallery — in order to play a part in "The Merchant's Widow," at the Carterton Town Hall to raise the wind foi the local brass band — That it is quite hkelv that a representative Wellington deputation will waat on Captain-Adjutant McKellar Wix (of the Northumberland Fusiliers) imploring him to withdraw his application for the command of the Tenth Contingent, in order to take charge of the Coronation Contingent --That a passenger on an ovei loaded tram on Thursday created a sensation bv affectionately bidding a friend at Thorn don good-bye, and handing him his life insurance policy to post to his wife Some peonle think he exaggerated the vicissitude^ of a forty minutes jaunt in the Council' 1 : saidine box

—That Mis. Giubb, at the hcononiic" luncheon and tea loom-- i^ the right woman in the light place That the wat must be ueai its end Wh\ "" Because Kitchenei has licked tlie Bocis into piawng foi peace That gentlemen with swelled head are respeetfulk reminded that thcie i^ a photogiaphei now in this cit\ with a six-feet camera. — Tli.it at a patuotic banquet at Masteiton laftt week, the banquettes found they had been suiokma cigar^ 'made m Holland " —That accoidmg to a Southern paper ' Poisoning will stait on l"ith Apul at Weld's Hill Awateie A cook and moie men wanted That a certain politician who won't MH >1 V le-election at the end of the \c\n is about to mo\e the Com t foi a lort)tution of conjugal nsht'That Uickland aie talkin<i of r endm2 dn independent team to Ri^le\ as a piotest against the non-in-clusion rf Northern men m tlie Association team That a featuie of a leccnt Pieslnterian meeting down South was the reading of fourteen chapters of the Bible, in S\ rtac bv a lady mis«ionei Delightful evening 1 — Tliat King "Edwaid. having declaimed against the pernicious piactice of giving wedding presents a lecent fashionable English bride got but a paltry £20,000 wortih. — That the Wellington wainois aie lather tender-footed The route maich knocked up thirteen of them so badh that they had to go into the Gio\town Hospital foi treatment — That at a eomech peifoimance given up Dannevirke wa\ the othei evening, the amateur peifoimer>« appeared unon the stage w ith the MS of their parts m their hands -That Little drops of w arer Little grains of sand Make the milkman wealtln And the grocei grand -That Mi. H. L Wai dell thinks that the city doesn't want an art galleiv but just a place to stoic picture* We would suggest some packing cases and a raalw a\ goods shed — That a ceitain dishonoured cheque led to high links m a mercantile office m town the other da\ . Howevei the cash w as- forthcoming at last and they honoured, the event fi/zicallv — That Loul Roberts hafc issued mstiuctaons that colonial officers m the Annv aie to be tieated coicballv. Wonder w hat their treatment had been previoush to make the ordei necessai\ ° — That General Babmgton hopes lie may ha\e the honoui some day of leading blie Maoris on active seivice. Wonder what enemy the General thinks is going to land or this soil dm ing the next fhe yeais? — That a couple of cleigwnen aie scarcely on nodding teimsjust now because of a guinea subscnption to the ' cause " which is claimed b\ both Wouldn't it be bettei to liahe the guinei and shake hands ' J --That the Wellington whaif labourers aie entitled to sympatln Oidmaiv people don't like to be ' in the dumps " but the wharf labouieis ha\e been appearing before the Court of Aibitiation m re the double-dumps.'' —^That a Mehose dain man wants to know what encouragement Seatoun will offer him to establish the cieiamatorium" tliat Mi Raw son has been lectuima, about He says they needn't go to Milan for ideas on that subject — That a suburban widow ei has just celebrated the hist animeisar* of his wife's death bv taking a second wife to Ins bosom The neighbouis are waiting to see whether he will take the bride foi a honeymoon tup to plant flowers on tho first wife's grate—That the British ca\ah\ cloaks bi ought home b\ troopei*- and now being worn bv various civilians in Wellington will vet land weaieis in fines for "bringing His Maiestx 's uniform into contempt " General Babs is said to have his eve on them — That Sergeant Hai lev Donald of Masterton, did not take huff at being, offered a commission in the Tenth and then having the offer w ithdrawn He went into camp as a non-com and cheenlv tells his friends that he moan* to win and return with a commission — That a centain paper down South has excited the w rath of Society Among the head-lines to a fashionable ball the editor had gn en prominence to "A Scene of Raie Beauty " The compositor as u«uaJ thoueht lie knew better and made- it 'A Scene of Baie Beauty " — That the Wellington peace-and-humanitv-stop-the-w ai sort of patnot wa« hit-off many veais ago in a paroch which ran like this — "We don't want to fight but b\ lingo if we do, We won't go to the front oui«elvo-~ bu* we'll send the mild Hindoo "