It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 79, 4 January 1902, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

— That Sir X T Hutton the now Commonwealth Commandant lias a private income of £8000 a \ eai £ - That theie die ' Seven hundieawnembers of Parliament in Australia^ We behe\ c it lia\ ing seen a Fedeial ' Hansaid " — That the stiong pio-Boei sympathies of a certain high public official in Auckland are being brought undei the notice of the Government -That Mr. Finch, long and favouiabh known as the chief stew ai d of the <! s Ehngamite, died in Sydney several weeks ago the cau^e being gout — That, as things are said to be a bit mixed in Fiji, it will take King Dick a long time to sort out wives and husbands when he fcake-s the islands ovei - That a health journal is telling people how to lie when asleep " Tf it oould persuade them to tell the tiuth when awake it would be doing real service — That a Ten ace Gnl, who wished to break her en^iq-einent without breaking her nance's heart, was lecommendod bv her little brother to receive him in curl papers — That the bndal pair at a recent wedding are said to ha,ve received gifts to the value of about £800 And vet some oeople hesitate before ha\ ing the knot tied ' -That Mr Vincent, ducal journalist with the Yorks says that the Maoris veil with more heart than any people on earth and that the Ber-ritWi cheei pla- «. «econd bassoon - -TJiae the man wlio lnvauablv leaves a local church before the collection is taken up, does not do so to escape contribution, but merely, as he says, to get first pick of the umbrellas -That Miss Ponsford, an Auckland larh has just received a shoithand speed certificate for 170 words a minute. This is claimed as a New Zealand tern mine- record - That there is a man in Wellington who nevei smiles. They say he tried it on only once, and then in his sleep. He was laid up in consequence with faceache afteiwaids foi a \v eek —That a farmei's wife giving final instructions to her spouse, who came to Wellington to buy stoics told him to bung homo \i few of them electric plants ' she had heard so much of — That the number of amateur chunks staged ing about the Quay and VVilhs-street on the night of Christmas Kye was surprising A shock to Mrs Urruiuh who was as usual taking notes - -That the veiv latest tiling at Home Il t ** .. Suppiession Association." Its main platform is universal peace, and it thinks the suppression of the gentlemen named the first step Quaint ' — That, m purchasing re-mounts foi the Eighth Contingent, an officer, who lias had African experience, should help the votennar\ surgeon He will probabl\ astonish the natives by picking "=crags " — That a Maori debtor in Masterton Court questioned as to his abiht\ to pa- remarked that pavmg his debts never troubled him, as the "Missus kept us " And \ef, some people talk as if the Maoris weio not civilised That o small Newt own bo\ lead all about a recent wedding to his sisters— what the bride wore, and w r ho weie the "contradicting" parties. Corrected he said that time would show that "eontiadicting," wa^ moio coirect than contracting --That, at a Wellington boaidinghonse the othei night a lodger lighted a match to look for a gas leak He found it all right When he came to the othei lodgers were pouring water ovei him. and the fire brigade w.it, outMcle iead\ for emoigencies That the km^oii why Pi emier Richard has been in strict seclusion the last few da\s is to hide the blushes occasioned b\ leading Ta\ Pay O'Connor's publisluxl opinion that when Mi Seddon leaves New Zealand it will be foi Heaven and nowhere else - That a leoent Chiistehiuch 'bike" collision between evehste and cyclist iosulterl in the foicible eiectment of the fair one's artificial teeth The meie mile callanth h mded her molars back which «ihe ron'aoed the cavaliei snatrhed a l»i«.s and pedalled coolly off

— That those Kelburue trams are rather alow in getting started. — That caipets are curious things. They are bought by the and worn b\ the foot. -That boaidmg a tora.ni while in motion is a rather expensive feat. It cost G H Scales !^os and costs this w eek — That T)e Wet seems to have quite lecoveied horn his recent death Theie are sc\eial men m New Zealand's Kighth who intend to kill him finalK — That a c\ ohst has just started his liolkLus by pedalling through from Auckland to Wellington A 534-mile til]) at the late of 7b miles a da^ -That it is untrue that the Cit\ Council intend lighting up the tiamwa\ sheds clock so that people may know how late (or earh) the cais aic at night -That, in 1900, the aggregate time lo^t thiough trade disputes in England was ten thousand \eais New Zealand cannot beat that although she certaih1\ tries to do so — That a Mastei ton resident, who bought bo acres of land in the Ballance (FoitA MiLe Bush) district a few veais ago at £1 per acre, has just sold out at £16 per acre — That a wnter up Noith waxc w roth because the new torpedo boat is called Jame Secldon." He says Mmlsteis should not put then private hi and on public piopert\ —That an ancient Scandina\ tan dame paid her fiist vLsit to Dannevnke the othei cla\ after living foi twenty-five wit Inn t\\ent\ miles of it and tried to snuff- the electnc light -That the tunny wa\ they ha\ c of selling exclusion tickets at the Wellington railwa\ stations, was invented in the ear One, and is probably kept up so that people may give the railw a\ s the widest possible berth on holidays. — That there are many longing e\e<and hankering hearts set upon that soon-to-be-filled Under-Secretaivship of Marine Who's to get the £300 pei annum 2 Don't all speak at once — That Lord Hoptoun ha.s made a • humble appeal" to ladies 'to curtail the length of their skirts if only by a little a.s to leave the cleaning' of the footpaths to the ordinary authorities." —That R. E. Hornblow of Mangaweka, who interviewed the Premier this week re the slowing down of railway works^ blew the horn all light for the 'omv-'andod discharged co-operatives — That the Government is doing a service to the count n m sending a gentleman to Cheviot to discover that the seismic disturbances theie weie — earthquakes' Why not a Royal Commission 9 — That it must have been a \ery lively trr-> the Takapuna had between New Plymouth and Onehunga last wreckw r eek seeing that a passenger named Stewart was tossed off his sea.t. and broke one of his legs — That an alarm of fire on Monda\ night spread the leport that the tramsheds weie burning. If you had seen the look of disappointment when the people found those hideous tin stiuctures still intact' — That the local punster who suggested to Captain Edwin that the Theosophical Convention in Wellington was exercising a "Karma-ing" effect on the weather has been granted a holiday he wanted it badly — That faw nmg new spapei sycophant in England ha.s gn en place to honest abuse of Wai Office methods, and that newspaper colonials at Home aie to be credited with stilling up that apathetic institution. — That a newspapei advertisement last week recovered £12 in note 1 - which weie folded inside a sa\mgs bank deposit book, and dropped near the Diesden Luclo for the loser that the hnder did not make a Christmas-box of it -That some of the ladies who aie de\oted to Ping-Pong" m Wellington think it ought to be encouraged in even possible way. Quite a. large numbci of local matrimonial engagements have been effected alieadv thiouah its i»cnc\ And theie's moie to follow " -That a well-known Wellington musician was rathei cheaph «old" the othei da\ Aftei agreeing to buy a ticket foi an At Home" foi a chantable obiect " he wa.s told the affan was to take the form of "a perfoimance of Blank's sm<nno hens " Said it was n l ltlier poulti\ " loko