Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 75, 7 December 1901, Page 22

Town Talk

— That a oanny Auckland Scot piesented Fighting Mac" with a pair of braces A fine useful piesent for a "Kiltie " —That a Little picture by an interested snap^shottisf will foim an important link in the evidence in a pending matrimonial s<uit. — That the eel, measuring ten feet b\ forty-five inches in girth, ca,ught by a citizen on Lambton Quay, looks "very like a whale " — That a dark gentleman has recently died in Turkey, at the ripe age of 160. A Wellington dentist has made a bid foi his teeth, which are perfect - That the artesian boies m Blenheim have ceased to flow a<b a result of the earthquake. Wish an earthquake would stop the flow of several bores we know — That a school m Hawke's Bay has to be clo&ed a fortnight earlier than usual to enable the mistress to attend to her duties as cloik to the Road Board — That a person who has been writing letters lelative to ie\oltmg crimes has been located m the sixth standard in a girls' school not a thousand miles from Wellington. — That a contempoiai> says the Rimutaka ianges were tipped" with snow this week. It needs solid silvei to tip" the waitei unless -\ou want to suffer from a frost —That Gisborne male hockey players handicapped themselves against female players by wearing sknte The ladies, who affirm the enreloping gaiments retard play were easil\ beaten — That an engaged couple in a little township not fifteen miles from town, who resolved to wait for the comnletion of a church befoie the<\ tied the nuptials, will each face the altar with a different partner as the lesult of a lo\ers' quarrel

--That the burglames committed at Napier on Thursday week aie being investigated by the police " Somehow till at phrase seems famihai — That a box of matches fetched £72 only the other day It was a prize at a euchre party, and the proceeds were devoted to a benevolent object — That the comp who turned ' sliaremarket" into ' snaremarket" m one of the Thames papers recently had a good idea of the fitness of things -That a telephone gul has broken dow n m health through overwork She sa\ s that when she kneels down to pra> she hears nothing but 'Are \ou there.' 1 — That the young lady who told her best boy she had something laad by foi a ram\ day explained, after they were mained that it was only an umbrella 1 — That Lord Bobs," the champion Lincoln ram at the Palmerston Show was defeated at Waiiganui h\ Mr. J B. Suttons ' General Buller " And still Buller is disgraced l — -That a country paper in alluding to the King's sixtieth birthday, says that if he can manage to hang out for another five years he will be able to f|iiahf\ for an old age pension — That our politicians aie children of light to those of the Fedeial States Devil's, advocate." and Devil's imp," are samples of anathema, unchecked by Mi Speaker, in the glorious Commonw oalth. — That the revelations by the Rev Mi WaJker that we are spending twopence a head more a week on alcohol than formerly is enough to make Billy Richardson take the first boat back again — That a man at Palmerston arranged a sham prize-fight for purposes of cinematograph The police rushed in, and stopped the' fight, and the film worked the result is extremely satisfactory to the camera aitist. — -That a young chemist's assistant nearh got the ' sack" last Wednesday for refusing to charge a customer 5s foi two pennyworth of drugs until he explained to the pioprietoi that the man was a Sydney doctor — -That a Maori lad.-\ examined with much inteiest the picture of famous geneials hung m a hotel dining-room. She evidently knew Kitchener and Roberts intimately but she broke the company up when she exclaimed 'By golly here 'Bakin' Powder.' " If the great Baden could have heard hei , he'd have been bound to rise" to carve her with a few of his presentation sw ords

-•-That Mr Walker believes the increase of drinking is due to the increased prosperity." Must we continue to dunk heavih to ensuie further prosperity ' J - -That another death is due to dental chloroform at Timaru To lose a life instead ot a tooth is getting frequent enough to demand refoim in its administration -That the leadeis of a Palmeiston Noitli paper want to know why so many of Shakespeare's plays are "immoral." Ot course, the comp. has been blamed ror the missing letter. - That m Taranaki recenth , a prospectn c bridegroom preferred to remain single rather than pay the fees, which he had been led to believe Here smallei than those demanded -That many countiy newspaper proprietors have the monohne composing machine on order, and that the ranks of the unemployed will shortly be consider<\h]\ augmented by discharged comps - -That already the influence of the King" is felt in the Cook Islands. A cullard pusson" has lately been baptised in the name of Richard John Seddon Damola and is deluguie his namesake with views on government -That a rumoui win oh was afloat, concerning increased tram accommodation for Wellington, has, been pronounced a canard" by a councillor Council would not be guilty of such a mistake, as pandering to the needs of the people. -That at a little Bethel" last Sundae , the organist fainted, and a wellknow n butcher volunteered his sei vices. He was astonished when he got to the instrument to find ''there wasn't no 'andle " His intentions were all right — That a pohcema,n, who wished to mako use of a fine footpath for his bike, hit upon the novel idea of chasing his friend along it to disarm suspicion. The chase was stern and long and the crowd put then *hirt" on the 'chased" one, who won. — That an earthquake disturbed the sitting of an august body of county councillors down South a few days since A councillor's dog jumped through the window on hearing that the council intended destioving all unregistered kuns " — That another George— other than the one pictured in this paper last week — is mentioned as a probable coach of the Wellington representative cricket team. If you want to know more about it ask the skipper of the Wellington Club's team

— That the city fathers are not enthusiastic about street- widening since that last award was declared. — That the "combine" between millers and bakers shows how capital is squaring accounts with labour — That rumour is busy with the names of a highly respected churchman and a lady of the choir Rumour, perhaps, merely spite. — That real property vindicators will be inclined to "chortle" now that the City Council has been frozen out of the Miramar purohase scheme. —That the local builders are anticipating a "boom" as soon as the Licensing Commissioners have had time to make a round of visitation Bricks are looking up — That the young lady who dropped a parcel of smoked fish from her violincase in Lambton Quay felt rather embarrassed when her attention was drawn to the fact — That the "Queen's Birthday" salute on Monday morning enabled a. good many citizens to jump to the conclusion it was King Dick's way of announcing the war was over in South- Africa. —That a oonucal sight was witnessed in a side street on Tuesday* morning. A working man was seen digging the foot of a local lady out of a hole in the sidewalk. Yes 1 the Corporation have filled the hole up. — That the cabled news that 200 Chows have got admittance to Queensland by means of forged orders makes one wonder how many are passing in to New Zealand by the same artful dodge. Are you listening, Richard? —That a gentleman, with a basket containing various rubbish, called on a lady and asked charity for himself and his six children. The Lady reminded him that the last time he 'called his family numbered eaght The gentleman left —That the South Australian cricketers seem to be wholly at sea without their Giffen If you are in doubt, compare their showing against the Englishmen with liim in the team, and their later ones against Victoria and New South Wales without him -That the Wellington Cricket Association are hoping for big things in the way of gate money by the visit of the Hawke s Bay team this season, with Albert Trott at the bow ling and batting crease Boxing Day has been fixed as the first day on which their exchequer will be replenished.