It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 14, 6 October 1900, Page 18

It is Town Talk

— That the divorce rate appears to be on the increase in New Zealand. — That nothing is now heard of that proposed war memorial church in Wellington. — That railway workshop men are in for a full-pay boom time of it for at least five years. — That it's like hammering cold iron trying to get Mount Cook gaol from the Premier for a university site. — That Bugby football down Westport way is described as being not only extremely gory, but highly adjectiveal also. — That the amours of a Southern commercial traveller on a trip across from Melbourne has caused trouble in two households. — That a stunning girl who drew corks in a Palmevston North hostelry, now fills a blank in the life of a South American tourist of means. — Tnat if we intend pushing our produce at Home, commissioners should be scattered all over England. One solitary official in London is absurd. — That a new submarine corps, comprised of men with grit who graft, to replace the vanished company of " mistrihs and minahs too," is on the tapis. — That a Christchurch paper descended to bathos in a recent obituary notice when it stated that " deceased used to regularly wear a fine buttonhole in his coat." — That a Wellington woman, who has had a few little verselets printed, recently despatched her latest effort to Eudyard Kipling for his candid opinion thereon. — That a Thorndon gentleman who attempted to thrash his sister's sweetheart recently, landed himself in the soup, and a scalding hot plate of soup it proved to be too. — That a country lawyer last week laid an information against himself, for breaking a by-law drawn up by himself, for riding a bike without a light. An honest lawyer I — That a great many wild-cat mining promoters down South have been knocked out by the burst boom, and are returning to their old jobs of driving carts and cleaning windows. — That a certain married shining star in social circles who donned two cloaks, her own being outermost, at a recent gathering, has since been very forcibly told of her mistake. — That a youth bearing a well-known name shocked his guardians at dinner t'other night when, in answer to .enquiry, he expressed a desire to go into the tombstone engraving business. — That a leading Wellington lady entertains the quaint idea that owing to the fall of Eve it isn't right in God's eyes to eat apples. They never figura on her table in any shape or form. That of fifteen officers present at the Battalion Football Tournament 0)3 Saturday week, the Colonel and Major were the only two who honoured New Zealand's national game by appearing in uniform. — That a lowly-born lady, whose language and etceteras require surface polishing, has just droppel into a tidy fortune, and has left for t'other side to be properly educated in order to take her position in Society. — That a medico who rushed off to attend a new patient— a prominent townsman — recently, with visions of a fat cheque, was disgusted on discovering at the end of three weeks that he was only a ordinary lodge patient. — That an improperly taught dentist said, among other things, at Christchurch Court, that whenever he could get patients to let hiui practise on them he did. He wasn't always successful. A nice state of things !

Death-dealing and destructive Lyddite shell Foims part of modem soldieia' art. Not as of old, when noble' wainors fell, Laid mdely low by spear or dait. Yet war's degrading to the human lace, And will not make our lives secuie, Though one can now all dirty weather face By taking Woods' Great Peppeimint Cure. — Advt.