FROM LONDON TO AUCKLAND.

New Zealander, Volume XXIV, Issue 2616, 31 March 1866, Page 4

FROM LONDON TO AUCKLAND.

BEING THE DIARY OF A PASSENGER BY THE SHIP 'ULCOATS.' (CoNTINIKO.) Friday, March 31st.—This day it wna again calm, on and off, with rain and squalls. In the morning four young sharks wore] caught by the gents fishing on the poop. In the a'.'ternoon we were informed that we should be visited bv king Neptune in the evening, and just after dark we heard a hail ahead, and immediately afterwards, the ship's' crew, disguised in various ways, descended from off the forecastle, and came aft to the quarter-deck. The spokesman then asked for .Mr. 1! e, steerage passenger, and Mr, 1! -n, saloon passenger, to whom he delivered letters; and then, wishing everyone good health, and promising to bring his wife with him the next day, the Sea God Neptune, left the ship with his retainers. As they ascended to .the forecastle, a Hour barrel, in which was a quantity uf lighted straw, was thrown overboard, and, floating astern, was visible for a long time over the ship's side, lighting up the ocean for miles with a red glare. Saturday, April Ist.—This morning, being All Fool's Day, there was plenty of fun, and plenty of lies told. After breakfast, Mr. 15 e informed the passengers in our department, that he had received a note the night before from King Neptune, in which he was requested to get up a subscription for that dignitary, and his followers. According to the reading of the note this was the general practice on crossing the line, " to get the men some beer to drink the health of the passengers." On being asked what would be the consequence to those refusing to subscribe, Mr. Be replied that ho supposed they would have to submit to the usual shaving and ducking—that was all. Several ol the young men declared it was an imposition—said they would give nothing, and threatened all kinds of fierce retaliation it the sailors attempted to duck them. But, poor fellows, when the time came, they were led without a word like lambs to tin slaughter and submitted quietly to theii fate. After dinner one of the stunsaih was fixed upon the starboard side of the quarter deck, and into this sail water was pumped until there was formed a bath ol some six or seven feet broad by ten oi twelve long and two or three feet deep. All the passengers were on deck, strangely curious, and many was the sly push <dven, and many the unfortunate sent bond first into the bath before the real fun commenced, A little after two o'clock the door of the forecastle opened, and a strange motley crowd proceeded towards the bath on the quarter-deck. First and foremost gambolled a couple of white boars on hands and knees, playfully laying hold of the legs ol all who happened to bo near. These were followed by a chariot, (wlr'ch looked uncommonly like the old gun-carriage disguised) drawn by half-a-dozen stout seamen, on which were seated their Majesties of the Ocean—Neptune and his wife—both of whom were dressed in most strangely outlandish costume. Immediately after the chariot came his Majesty's Confidential Advisor and Keeper of the Privy Seals, carrying nn immense black box upon his head labelled "Donations." Behind this gentleman demurely walked his Majesty's Own Hairdresser and Harbor, across whose right shoulder significantly lay a wooden razor of about the dimension! of an ordinary reaping scythe. On the left-hand side of this individual was Neptune's Own Medical Attendant, carrying a large mortar in front of him, ominously labelled " Pills," and containing a large quantity of the same of about the size of small apples. A boy followed this amiable pair with a pot and shaving brush, and the rear was brought up by the Civil and Military Forces, viz.: policeman X and one of the seamen dressed in some sable regimentals and armed with a formidable mop stick. The "make-up" of the whole of this throng was exceedingly good —that ot the bears particularly so. Those animals were represented by " Sails," an old Swede, and Charlie, a black seaman, and one of the best in the ship. These two worthies had encased themselves in bleached sheepskins and carried out the capers of two bears to the life. Way was immediately made, ami the whole procession took up a strong position in front of the bath, with the exception of the I two bears, who leapt over the canvas supports into the water, where they sportively splashed and gambolled, playfully dragging over and bemauling anyone who approached the sides. And now, the position having teen taken up, King Neptune proceeded to unroll a formidable-looking paper, which we found to be n complete list of the passengers. Beginning with the firstclass, the names were read over and ticked off, until one was mentioned who had paid nothing in to Mr. B n. The first delinquent, on his name being called, stepped forward, and he was told that having forgotten to pay to Mr. B n it was open for him now to contribute, and the "donation " box was accordingly thrust forward. However determined the party might have been "not to be swindled " he generally ended by dropping a coin into the box and quietly retiring to the rear amid the laughter of the crowd. And so it went on, some paid and some refused, and these latter had to go through the far from interesting ceremony of being *' physicked and ducked " amid the laughter of the bystanders. Many, when called, would DOS answer to their names, am] in these cas(» the Civil and Military

' Authorities were at once despatched in search of the absentees, and in no one case did a passenger succeed in keeping good his hiding place. The poor butcher had been promised an extra dose nil along, and great fun was anticipated when his name was called ; but he not only declined to answer to his name, but lie was non est inventus. A diligent search was at once set afloat, but without av;iil ; the ship was hunted high and low, in board and overboard, but "no butcher." Nor had lie been seen since eleven o'clock in the forenoon. Unfortun itely, however, he betrayed himself, else might behave kept his secret hiding-place till doomsday. As I mentioned, f think, somewhere before, he was extremely thin and attenuated, and the scheme he had hit upon was that of concealing himself in one of the upright r.inc ventilators let in the deck close by the main hatchway Into this, by dint o'f perseverance, he managed to screw himself, and in this narrow prison had remained for upwards of two hours, when, becoming impatient, he had stretched out ids long craney neck, to see what was going on, and so discovered himself. Poor butcher ! how the Civiljand Military Authorities pounced upon him—or rather, upon the ventilator—tnd having unscrewed that, dragged '• Jemmy Ducks" forth, amid the exulting laughter of all assembled. As pale as Paris plaisler, he was led round to the sacrifice, and, on being introduced to Queen I.'eptune, was compelled, very much against his will, to kiss Her Majesty's anything but rosy lips. [n fact, I grieve to say, that across the mouth of that lady was strapped a narrow strip of leather, pierced by innumerable tin tacks, which presented their sharp points to the aspiring lips of those requested to salute Her Majesty. Having received an "extra" affectionate kiss (oh! the smart) from the Queen, butcher was introduced to His Most Gracious Majesty the King, who, after one or two common-place observations, such as asking him " whether his mother knew he was out," &e, &c,, handed him over to the tender mercies of his physician, remarking that even his unpractised eyes could tell that he was in want of " powerful aperient medicine." Butcher strongly protested, but the doctor took him in hand, felt his pulse, and ordered him forthwith to be shaved. The hoy with the shaving pot accordingly stepped forward, and a dirty greasy compound was laid thickly on the victim's face by means of a brush made for the very purpose. It would seem, too, that the disease had already spread over the patient's [ forehead, and even eyes, for those parts were thickly anointed—in fact, the whole of the face was one mass of so-called "lather." This was scraped off just about as carefully as it was " flopped " on, and the wonder to mc was that the poor butcher's nose was not scraped off too, for that appendage was remarkably long, and the razor was drawn over his face, up and down, first this way, then that, with such reckless barbarity that it was astonishing his nasal organ did not lly off in one of the up or down strokes. Painful as this shaving operation must have been, the butcher bore it well, and it was not until his mouth was opened for the pill that he ,made any resistance. The sight of this, however, was too much for him, and he kicked and struggled fiercely ; but it was of no avail, for the all-powering Forces held him tightly, and while they did so King Neptune him:.elf prized open his mouth with a marlingspike, and the doctor administered the pill. Then, while the patient was spitting and sputtering and trying to open his eyes, for the pill had " squashed " and was spread all over his face, the Forces before alluded to, each taking possession of a leg, lifted him off the deck, and before he could realise his position he found himself floundering in three feet of salt water, in the clutches of the two bear-seamen, who ducked him most unmercifully. In vain did he attempt to escape,—it was of no avail—several times he had succeeded in eluding their grasp, and half clambering up the side, when he felt their paws playfully on him, and he was dragged back again, and again submerged. At last, however, they let him go—not, however, until he had been fully ten minutes in the water. But the reader is not to suppose that all were served like the butcher. In most cases all that was done, unless there was a " grudge " in the way, was simply to shave and give the patient one duck and let him go. The pill was kept for a few of the " select," while the bath was given indiscriminately to those who would not pay. And when the fun was nearly over, so many had been ducked and were eoaked, that they formed themselves into a coalition and dashed into the batli a dozen at a time: and half that number coming suddenly from behind, precipitated both their Most Gracious Majesties into the water meant for "lubbers," amidst the laughter of the Ttoyal Court.. And now a general melee took place—ducking was the order of the day—and to finish up, the hose was turned on, and the water sent flying in jets over the whole ship, so that there was shortly not a soul on deck but was wet to the skin. The captain came forward, however, and stopped this, and so ended my first "crossing the line." (7b be continued.)

M. (lu Cliaillu should add a photographic lens and some prepared paper to his travelling apparatus. People did not believe him readily about the gorillas, and now they will be very sceptical about the Obongo. He says he met in the equatorial region of West "Africa a race of little people called Obongos, and usually about a foot shorter than average Englishmen. lie only measured one man, the rest running away, and he was small, but he measured a number of women, the tallest of whom wus 5 ft., while others ranged from 4 ft. 4| in. to 4 ft. 8 in. Anything is possible ill equatorial Africa of course, but still, as these people seem smaller than the Lapps, and M. du Chaillu may one day meet a tribe with tails, the lens would be vury useful.— Spectator. Proposed General Slaughter or Diseased Cattle.—A proposal has been made by .Sir T. Beauchamp, vice-chairman of the Norfolk Cattle Plague Association, for the slaughter on a certain day of nil diseased cattle throughout Great IJritain. The hon. baronet proposes that the Government should pay liberally for the beasts thus slaughtered, and he contends that by this means the disease would be effectually cxiewninated. — The Globe.