NOTHING SERIOUS.

North Otago Times, 2 December 1911, Page 1 (Supplement)

NOTHING SERIOUS.

YOU'LL REMEMBER THIS. Jaggers and Snlpson wcro walking homo together when Snipson Bald:—■ *Wait a tick. I've forgotten something my wifo told me to get." ." "What is it ?" inquired Jaggers. "I've forgotten what it is I've forgotten," "My dear chap, you can't forget what you'vo forgotten, if you remember you've forgotten what you can't remember,"

"I know; but what can I tell the wife. Shall I say I didn't forget to get it, but I forgot what it.was I had to remember to get? Or shall I Bay I had forgotten what I had forgotten to remember not to forget ? She's sure to say I shouldn't have forgotten to forget it I • Hallo 1 I remember now."

"What I Remember what you'vo forgotten ?"

'"Yes, It's a pound of sugar. I remember what I forgot, and I remember what I had forgotten I nad forgotten,"

Then a tired couple journeyed to the nearest grocer's,

THAT CLEVER GERMAN. A German gentleman wanted to take a day's drive through the country. He applied to a stable for the Horse and carriage. The owner, not Mowing the German, wbb slow to give him the team. Finally the German pulled' out a roll of banknotes and said: "I will buy your horse and gig, providing you will buy them back at the same price when I return this evening." The dealer, not wishing to offend a probable future customer, consented. When in the evening the German presented himself and expressed his pleasure at the ride, the dealer, according to agreement, paid him back his money, and the customer started to take his leave,

"I beg your pardon, sir I" exclaimed the dealer,; "but you bavo forgotten to pay for tho hire, you know."

"Pay for tho hire ? Why, my dear sir," coolly replied the German, '"I tail to see that, If you will excrclso your memory a trifle you will agreo that I have been driving my own Horse and-carriage all day, and now you have bought them back they are yours, Good-day, sir I" And he left the astonished dealer to reflcot.

ANOTHER HOME DRAMA. Little Janle: "Papal" Tired Father: "'Well ?"■ Little Janle: "What does 'transAtlantic 1 mean?" Tired Father ; "Across the Atlantic." Little Janle : "Then docs 'trans' always mean across?" Tired Father: "Yes, Janle, of course. But don't bother me about that now, there's a good girl, or I shall have to spank you 1" (Pause,)

Little Joule: "Then, papa, docs 'transparent' mean a cross parent?" Tired Father (in a rage): "Yes, it does 1 And I'm one I"

(Exciting chase by papa. Little Janle rescued by mother. Curtain,'

Heaven takes 'care that no man secures happiness by crime.—Alfleri.

Whenever a husband' is in trouble he never baa a better advocate than his wifc.-Judgo Willis. '

All things change, creeds and philosophies and outward syßtoms-but UJ remains I-Mrs, Humphry Ward,