THE KING OF MOMBUGLUM.

North Otago Times, 6 September 1906, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE KING OF MOMBUGLUM.

By Littli; VTolmny, ;'"■—*—

Mister Gepple, wich was one time a mishonary preecher in-Afca, lie sod, Johnny,, di ever tel you.about the cracky dilc wich had a bias lied and use to fli a kite? , I sed no, he dident, and he sod, Wei,, my child, it isent a'story for seen yung'persons as you be, and line inity prowtl of my self for keepin it locked in to my own booscm. But I dont mind tellin you about the King of Mombuglwn. One time wen I was ingnged, under Provdcnce, in sprcridin the lite in a impcntriblc forrest and carryin' the glad tiding 10. menny a ainshent rivver and uieirny a pommy plain, I come to a town of ten ar 12 mud huts, and the fcrst man wich I met was a fat nnlif nigger wich had ben in swimmin, cos hehndent no close on and looked real clean and shiny. I culd speak nigger fine, so I sed, Thankee, mam, Ide like for to see the lied heathen in his blindness.' The feller he fookt at mo a long time, out of his eys, and bime by he spoke up and sed, the fat. feller did, If you mean the king Ime him. Then, I sed, I have came for to snatch yure peeples l\ke brands from tho burning if thare is enough of them to make it wurth wile. How menny subjecks have you got wen thay arC: all to home? .The:king he begun for to count on the fingers of his left hand with the stump of his rite arm, cos ho hadent only but jest one hand, and he-sed, Lets se. Thare is the Prime Minnistr, and Hie Lord Hi Cook, and the Squelcher Genercl of Rebelyons, and and the Hercdittcry Baron of the Roil Britch Clout, and the Chandler of the Hcdsmans Block, That isent the hole sensus, but I havent got any more fingers, cos one time I boxt the ears of a impident cracky dilc wich wudent confes my, swa. Then, Johnny, I held uf my own hand and spred my fingers and the j King he went on enumerating his [subjecks and sed, Thare is the Lord Keper of the Troshurc, and the Master of Ephalents, and the Chccf Taxer, and the Fcrst Asisteiit Chccf Taxcr, and the Dapjily Fcrst Asistent Cheef Taxer, and—and—seems to me that is cut all, but I cant think of enny more jest now, Then I spoke up and sed, How about the Genercl Publick ?

The King he sed, 0 yes, the Gonerel PuUlick is wot I had forgot.. Then the Prime Minnistr, wich had came up and was necling at the Kings I'eets, he sroko up and nod, Exolted by yure Mnggestys name, ens you are the father of the siin and the moon, and wen yure voice is herd thru roaling .drums the hevens is mute. Yure Maggcstys memmcry is never so good as wen it forgets. Thare was a Gcnorcl Publick last week but we et; him.

Johnny, hem a good man and a vegitarian, I was mity shockt, but wen I come to think it over I sed, You fellers is prcty black for to look at, but you seem to be about the same kind of Guvcrment to which I am accustomed, so lie quit preechin and stay with you if you wil make me Lord Hi Custodian of the Estates! of Boild and Roastid Coinmencrs. The King he done it, the King did, and I inite have ben dwcllin in Mombuglum to this da, a distingisht and prospros ofishel. I ast Mister Gcpple wot made him quit and he sed, Cos I evident over cum tlie. Kings infamus devoshun to the Fri Pan—wich is the invenshion of a anarkist and a fo to law and order.

But if eny wickid ./King wud fri me. and Billy we wud cut olf of his hed and tliro it in his face, cos the. Bible it says cat wot is set bforc you and be thankfle that it sent enny; wurso. The domcsticlc hog he eats cvry thing wicli is in the wurld, but man he is the bos, cos he eats the hog. And thats \vy 1 say how wunderfle is the wurks of crcashion !

Jack Brily, wich is the wickid sailer, he sos one tiinc the ship wich he was wurkin on it lauded on a island and suckml a felicr wich was casted away, and lie was starved most to doth, nothin only but jest a skulleton.' Wen he was fed up so he culd talk ho sed to the captin of the ship Plcese, sir wunt you sial back to the ila'nd and reskew my companyen ? The captin he sod, I beg nardon, I thot you was the only one. So thay saild back to the iland and the feller he pinted out a ofile big dirty pig and sed thnts him. The captin he was mity mad and he sed, You gum dasted imposter, are you a Ju ? :• The feller he sed, No, sir, Imc a Mcthody. So the captin he sed, Then wy dident you cat the pig? The feller he lookt real morm'lc, and blime.by he sed, Cos Imc of a soshiblc disprishion and if Ide a done that I wudent had no sosiety; and sollitude is the muther of uurefmcment. But if Ide ben thare I wude hav drawd my big soard and cleeved him to the chin ! Uncle Ned, wich has hen in" Injy and evry whare, he ses one time when he was a livin thare the natif niggers held a mas meetin for to elect a King, and fore thay got done it was pitch dark. Wen it was ol over Uncle Ned he hollerd, Now, then,- 3 cheers and a tagger! The cheers was gave, real- lowd, and jest then sum 'thing busted out of the jingle and the new King was herd to shrcck. 0 my, 0 my! and was wisked away into the nite, and the natif niggers fel over their own fcets to get home, all but one ole man wich had rumatizzum. Then Uncle Ned, wich.was a stonish, he sod, Wot the ole Harry is up ? Then the ole man he spoke up and sed, Thais the tagger. Taggers is cats, and wulf is dogs, but the rhi nosey rose is a sqiiob I and rotes like oslian on a western beetch !—"New York American."