ON THE ESPLANADE

North Otago Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 6138, 26 August 1886, Page 3

ON THE ESPLANADE

My as the youn? people »ay, bu' wouldn't Oamaru beach have had a high old time during the last few days if the concrete blocks had not been in position The aiistocratic Lady Mabel would probably have called upon Father Cole man, and the unassuring Gleaner perhaps paid a visit to Week's mills.

O AMARU MUD.

For Tight down soHd sticky mud, Omhavu takes the prize ; For on the paths and roads and etrcats, Tn piles and heaps it liai, And whose to blunt? It's hard to tell, — Let* pat it on the rain— For to rental and maoadam, Would make, 'tis very piain, A rato old pile for Mtater Brown, To turn up In the books ; And lott of voucher* and of plans, In pigeon holes and nooks, And lota of that of whloh we all Have heaps and don't want more — And that tint cash (I never blow). And oover did b«foro — Bat blessed taxes, don't cher know 1 Of them we've got galore, So let us »tand our itioky boots, Rain will soon be orer, Then WH have dutt, good blinding dust, Won jti wo ba in o'over ? Mariar now oar boot* must grease— Swear with greatest pleasure— So later on, she'll dust oar ooata, At her own sweet leiaare — She'll smooth onr very beat silk hat, Dait makes it quite ahr jklng ; Oh. woa'fc Mariar have a grin — Mariar's foad of mocking — 11 Oh, ftint h* got a ahlny Hl* 1 Don't It want new blocking ? My word, hV« a dainty iwe'l, On Thames' footpath da»hin?, He'll out omt all the other hats, When he goes oat a mashing." And then Mariar will try it on her own bvreet little red singed head.

I wonder, Mr Editor, that you don't stop such ravingi. What cau a man or woman be composed of who neglects the delights of politics and science and history, to indulge in such absolute rot ? People love something ponderous, especially the young. It soothes their exuberant spirits to wade knee deep in scholastic problems and historical taradiddles.

What with the gold, millions of tons, I was about writing, eaid to te at the bottom of the Molyneux, and only awaiting raisig; and the propoved flour mills on i's pellucid bosom, the Molyneux bids fair to be a most distinguished river. What is wanted now is some engineering genius like Monsieur de Lesseps, or auy other man with the proper capacity to devise ■ome simple plan by which the golden chinks and crevices may be exposed to tbe

light of day and the eyr i of the avaricious and leave undisturbed the gentle stream to serve its useful purpose, turning tbe wheels of flour mills. Of course, tbe latest patents will be applied for. That ought to ba an entertainiog addition to Parliamentary literature when it comes on. It is also rumoured that the ocean around us will be evaporated and converted into good •ilt to cure the millions of tons of bacon nod hams about to be exported ; also to aid in pickling barracoota and whitebait (or Home. And finally, despite tbe adm tied need amongst ourieltes, our political economical and mixed financial variety company will appoint post masters and other officials in each city and town ship to buy up all second band clothing for export to Petticoat Lane, where there a 1 ways is in unlimited rrftrke' ft a gool range of prices. This Utter item will, it

is anticipated, prove a valuable asset in future years. Dunedin ehowed up mean when .coal merchants were detected chiselling a confiding public, but Auckland takes rank in tbe art when her coal dealers go in to rob an orphan school. Put it which way they like the citiea of the North and South I have adepts in the buiineas of black diamonds. New Zealand continues sensational. Shoevs up grand in originality. Mr Johnston, who lately left the living at bis own dictation, had made death and after death quite a business matter. The written precautions be bad taken were a« formal aa account sajes. Tbe only sign of insanity tbe poor man showed was in imagining tbat bis life policy of LIOOO would be forfeited. So much for Qiiborne. The other miserable story cornea from

rearer, and &l! Ooncetned remain to |h» Uud of tbe living. Going further on, the deep, deep sea eloiei over t participant in an 'elopement which made some noise 1-tely, though it tnurf be Mid. not so much for the one itself, but for thereaion that it showed the far reaching powers of a modern Act of the Imperial P***™* The eminent Sir Graham Berry Jo« not mean standing any of Monsieur ■ double meaning.. Freuchy »»■* ™°J his eye. He may bluff poor old Britain and her antiquated and used up sternum and spouters ; but by all the pawn shop, in CofilDi Street, and all the other honest ways of lining prevailing ■in the cUv or Melbovrne and colony of Victoria, including miue floating, sbarebrokiog anj •yndicatin*, with Melbourne cups and B pielin ff , and all tbe other niceties thrown in, including Paddy's Market and Borneo Lane.Frencby musn't take liberties with the heaven born leaden of Victoria. For didn't they oquelch Ned Kelly -and his «ang in aj-ffy l But then the old Rad is Gpto trade, Walking into the Toreign office and Monsieur is one way of gloBg l08B J"B over that mont heart reading record of tbe colouial show year— the collapse of the eminent 6rm of Scott, Spofforth & 00. gome of us have heard reference made to tbe inspired prophets, and w.e have r«ati of the seer» ol old ; old mother Shipton » reverie is not unknown, nor " Zad r ki e' or dear old Murphy; but which of t Hem c^mparea with our own Lient. Kdwin R.N ? He has made a reputation ani h«t is hard to make. Aa a weather Beer he it renowned. Mariners doff the souwester to bimvapd schoolmasters §cc visions »f bliss when he points to heavy *et. Un he other hand it is beginning to be under*tood by observant people that me bulletins should be read by Rory O More s rule — the rule of contrary — Sucn * prophet is invaluable in a new country.

{For continuation of Went, tee pan* ♦•)

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