Gloom Chasers. The Awful Truth

Northland Age, Volume 28, Issue 54, 27 June 1928, Page 3

Gloom Chasers. The Awful Truth

Two faces were close together, the man’s grim, tense ; the other face was small and white, with two slender hands pressed tightly against it. It was those frail hands that riveted the man’s horrified gaze. “Heavens!” he said, still staring ; and in his voice was hopeless, stark tragedy, for that other face was the face of his watch, and those little hands told him that he had missed the last train home. Catching The Tourists A party of tourists visited an out-of-the-way village in which was a very ancient church. Ihe verger invited the party inside the building, where from an old chest he showed them some ancient plate, and recounted its history. Then he looked at them solemnly and inquired whether they would like to see some modern plate. s „ “Certainly!” was the reply. “We are out tp see all we can.” The verger brought them the collection plate! Man And His Memory He was rather absent-minded and las wite tied a piece of cotton round his finger to remind him ) get his hair cut. On his* way home he noticed the cotton and entered a barber’s shop. “Yes, sir ?” said the barber, a puzzled note in his voice. “Er? Oh, yes, cut my hair, please.” “Certainly,” replied the barber “if you wish it, but you won’t mind my mentioning the fact that I cut it at lunch time to-day, 'will you ?” She Knew Them All In a village near Chepstow one of the girls was sitting for an examination for a scholarship at Monmouth School. One of the questions was —“Name six minerals.” It was some time before she could remember six, but at last they came to her, and she answered: “Ginger beer, ginger ale, lemonade, soda water? seltzer water and kola.” Down On The Farm Scene: A farmhouse. The new boy was eating his first dinner there. “Will tha ’ave more meat John ?” asked the old farmer, as he carved at the heard ot t..e table. “Yes, please,” ansv ered the boy. “What does tha say ?” roared the farmer, glaring fiercely at the boy. “No, thank you.” ‘That’s reet. I like a lad as can speak up for ’isself.” Not Precise Enough The proprietor of the menagerie issued a placard offering £2O to anyone who would enter the cage of the lion. Towards the end of the performance a rustic walked up to the lion tamer and said: “Sir, I have come to earn that £2l T.»e audience was horror-strik-en. The tamer replied with a derisive sneer: “So you want to go into the lion’s cage ?” “Of course,” replied the rustic. “Come on, then. I will open the trap-door for you, and you can step in.” “But,” said the countryman, “the beast must come out first; you know the paper only says : “Anyone going into the cage gets £20.”