THE PATRIOT.

Northland Age, Volume 3, Issue 20, 18 December 1906, Page 8

THE PATRIOT.

By Little Johnny.

Uncle Ned he sed, Johnny, one I time there was a grate poet. Then I spoke up and sed, Did he draw his long sticker and heep the feeld with hettycomes of slain ? j Uncle Ned he sed, Wei, no, I don’t ! seem to reckolect that he did eny thing just like that, his way for to be usefle to his da and gennyrashon was to make rimes, but after he done makin a rime, I must confes that the feeld of onher was mity encumbered with bleedy parts of speetch., I kno you are parshel to tales of goar and glory, my, boy, but this isent that kind of entainment. I waa only a goin for to Bay that the grate poetry feller he wrote one day that the proper study for mankind is man and I-think there is something in it, as was the last words of the chap wich lookt down the rftm barel. The beest wich perrish and the berds of the foul aur isnt the dnly things'wich ot to ingage yure atenshion and interest. Frinstence, thare is the patriot. Then I sed. Yesser, but I have wrote all about her. She can be told to tolk jest like yuman beings, and ses, Poly wants a cracker, real fine.

Uncle Ned he thot a wile and bime by he sod. This apears to be a case of mistaken identisty, tho thare certinly is a rezemble tween the pol parrot and the pbl patriot, parhabbit of sayin wot your have got sick of hearin. But the patriot he frequent makes the whelkin ring, were as the uther sport she only but jest sreeks like lafture in a toom. Both is 2 leggers, but the patriots is hind ones, an wen hb wants to think he mounts them like a step lader and does the trick with his tung, mity odible. In pint of apetite he sores supeerier to eny thing wich breeds the breth of life. He eats wot ever it pleeses Profidence to profide, and eats it all, were in he is like the ostridge of the desert and the domesticle hog. Sech is his luv of country that it takes 7 provinches for to alay his hungry. I ast Uncle Ned did the patriot have wings, and he sed, Uncle Ned did. Wings, Johnny are used for to go some where. They take you from the place wich you are to the place wich you ainjt. But the patriot he isent migatory. He never wants to go very far from his place of bizness, wich is his mowth. Tru, I sed he sored, but that was a figger of spoetch meanin that he arose abuv all sech shel fish consid-derashions as the public whelfare and the good of the country. No, my boy, the patriot hasent eny, wings. He stays rite by his job. He luvs his country as I sed afore, and it agrees with his dijestion. He admires its instushions Hike thay was prety girls in wite muzlin gouns. Its pocket is the haven of his hand and the fat on his kidneys is public propperty deddicated to privit use. But wot Uncle Ned ment by ol that rigmy role is wot flores me, and Billy he is the same way. And thats wy I say wizdom is rut of all evel and flvs from the rath to cum.

And now I’le tel you a story. Ole Gaffer Peters he had a moltec cat, and the cat had a hole in its ear. One day it cum in to Mister Brily’s meat shop, wich is the fat butcher, for. to steal meat, and Jack Brily, wich is the wicked sailer, he cetclied the cat and shut it up in a box wich cetches the ground up meat from the sossidge masheen. But ferst he cut its ear wich had the hole in it. Ole Gaffer and his dotter, Missis Doppy, and little Sammy Doppys harts was most broke cos they had lost their cat, but Jack he dident let on til bime by Missis Doppy cum in to the shop for to bi sossidge meat. Then Jack he sneeked the cat ear in the sossidge meat and Missis Doppy she took the meat home. Next day she cum to the shop real mad and trembly and handed -lack the cat ear with a hole in it and sed Yung man, do you kno wot that is ? Jack he lookt at it a long time, reel soli cm, and then he sed, Looks like it mite be a wosher off of some kind of a masheen. Ware did you get it ? Missis Doppy she sed, I got it out of my fry pan. You made our cat in to sossidge meat and we et sum of it.

Jest then ole Mister Brily cum in and ast wet was up, and wile Missis Doppy was a cryin and tellin him wot a mean man he was Jack sed, I dont se how the cat culd get in the masheeiii without our sein it, lets se if we can find the uther ear.

So he opened the box of the grinder and the cat jumpt out and made a dash for the dore and most nockt Missis Doppy down and busted out of the shop like it was a wirl wind and skamperd up the street tord home, you never se sech a serkus ! Mister Brily he herld a beef bone at Jack, wich dodged and wolked away, a ©ingin A Life on the Oshan Whave, a Home on the Rolin Deap. But Mister Gipple he ses it is whicked for to poke fun at the wimmen, cos thay cant poke back. The Bible it ses wooman was made in 6 days and arrested on the 7enth. And thats wy I say remember the Sabeth day for to keep it holj r . My mother is a wooinen but Mister Pitchel he is a preecher and can pra real fine. But if me and Billy was preechers we wud rather be a piret, like Rinard, the Red Revenger, wich declared wor with the whole wurld and had a nice cassefl and no goin to skool. Jack Brily ses one time wen he was a piret the ship he saild the ragin mane in over taked a uther ship and the captin of the pirets hollered, Lay to, or lie sink you in to the boosem of the deep ! The captin of the uther ship hollered back. I dont like yure imperatif mood. Then the captin of the pirets sed, Thats the way I hapen to be feelin to day and I aint no disembler. The captin of the "Uther ship he sed I mean I don’t like yure grammer. If you want me to do eny thing you must as£ me propperty, and say, Lie to. I ust to be a skool teecher fore I was a piret. Then Jacks captin he hollered, Wot ! are you a piret yure self ? The last feller wich I haild was a Admiral, and the feller fore that had a cargo of cod fish. I never se sech gum dasted luck ! So Jack ses thay aH went a shore and the captin becamed a financier and was hanged in chates.

And thats wy I say a on—t man is the noblest beest JflAsU the \ t Ml