THANKS TO SHICKELGRUBER

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume 78, 24 June 1943, Page 6

THANKS TO SHICKELGRUBER

DUTCH "DISINHERITED" HITLER CUTS THE FAMILY TIES The following article appeared in a recent issue of “Knickerbocker Weekly,” a Netherlands weekly published in New York with contents partly in English and partly in Dutch: It is terrible news we have to break to our readers to-day. However, the majority of our readers being of good Dutch stock, they may be able to bear it gallantly. The news is—now brace yourselves, friends —that the Nazis have disinherited us! Of course, they never intended to leave us any material wealth anyhow, but —had we behaved well —they would have bestowed one great thing upon us, to wit, the “Germanic inheritance of racial affinity.” Now we don’t get it, because we are such bad, bad boys. That’s the wonderful, miraculous side of the Nazi racial theories —they can be handled to fit the needs of the moment. So, when the Japs sided with Berlin, they were suddenly elevated to the rank of “honorary Aryans,” but after their refusal to let a few Germans participate in the looting of the Indies they may well be “dis-Aryanised” any day now with another stroke of the pen. We Dutch were often told by Berlin that we were very Germanic indeed. Especially in May, 1940, when the uninvited Huns came to “protect” us from the British, they assured us, with tears of emotion in their eyes, that we were in fact nearly as superbly Germanic as they themselves were. That’s why they had come, they said. That’s why they shipped our valuables, our food, our means of production and, finally, even our men to Germany, where everything and everybody could be protected so much better than in Holland. But the Dutch, you know, are a most ungrateful bunch of people. They don’t appreciate that touching German solicitude. They even protest, fancy that! They sabotage the German war effort, they try to eat their own food, they refuse to play the Germanic game of hunting Jews, they even preach resistance from their pulpits! No wonder then that the Fuhrer finally changed his mind and decided not to bequeath any more of the “Germanic inheritance” to the Dutch. Consequently, last week he ordered his special commissar for racial promotion and demotion, Bohrmann, to issue a circular “instructing the authorities of all occupied countries, including Holland itself, to omit all further reference to statements declaring the existence of an affinity of blood between the Dutch and the other west-European peoples.” So we are disinherited. From now on we don’t have one blood-corpuscle in common with the Norwegians, the Danes, the French, or—worst penalty of all —with the Germans. Serves us right for resisting the new order! There can be only one answer to this involuntary admission that racial bribery could not prevail over the stubborn hostile attitude of the Dutch. It is: Thank you, Schickelgruber, thank you for this finest of all compliments you possibly could have paid the people of Holland!