TITTLE-TATTLE

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXIX, 29 January 1936, Page 10

TITTLE-TATTLE

BY “TATLER" PUNCTUATION ERRORS “'Good Ilonicr .sometimes nods,” said Horace. The meaning of the phrase is: "All of us are apt to make mistakes sometimes.” i was reminded of Homer and his “nods” the other day—as I am often reminded —by reading in a periodical a series uf amusing "Slips that Bass,” as the paragraph were headed. "Defendant,” ran one, "stated that he mot a man at the railway verininus.’’ Such slips—they occur, 1 expect, somewhere every day—-are generally attributed to the individual who is characterised the "printer’s devil,” an imp of-a lad who, when printing was termed the "Black Art,” used to assist the pressmen, but who, to-day, is employed to run errands for and to assist printers’ machine-men. You can, though, take it from me that the "printer’s devil” is in no way responsible for a single typographical error appearing in any publication. Such "slips” as the one which I have quoted are purely accidental. A linotype or monotype operator accidentally depresses a wrong key on Ins machine, and there slides into its place a letter which, if it escapes the lynxlike eyes of the readers, gives a delightful twist of absurdity to a sentence which, otherwise, would have been grave and sedate. For instance, a compositor employed by a local newspaper—doubtless a hand compositor—inadvertently picked from its box "i” instead of "u,” with the result Hut a speaker was represented, in cold print, to have declared: "I stick lo my gins,” instead of "1 stick to my guns!’

It can readily be understood, from the two errors I have cited, how easily slips occur, and how they can, by the simple substitution of one letter for another, transform the sublime into the ridiculous. In a ponderous “leader” an editor wrote, “Let us explore.” It can well be imagined that, when lie opened his enlightened organ in the morning and found that he was represented as having written “Let us explode,” the unfortunate reader who had failed to detect the slip of tlie linotype man would be lucky if he escaped with a “jacketing” only.

"The —— left last night with a cargo of oats.” That was what the shipping reporter wrote. The compositor thought that a better rendering would be, "The left last night with a cargo of coats 1”

Compositors have been known to lake liberties witli an author’s manuscript m (lie belief that he hacl erred and needed to have the error rectified. 1 recall one instance. An author wrote: “Shall reign the Hecate of the lowest hell.” Unacquainted with Greek mythology, the compositor said to himself, I expect, “We don’t spell ‘cat’ ‘cate,’ ” so he set in type the line. “Shall reign tho He cat of the lowest hell !”

Other errors appearing in newspapers are attributable to mis-liearing by reporters or to illegible writing. “Y'ou were horn to suffer, as ye were born to be rewarded, for well hath it been written, ‘No cross, no crown.’ ” In print he was represented as having said, instead of “No cross, no crown,” “No cows, no cream !” Another speaker ended a sentence with “Here and there ” “Heads and tails” was a newspaper rendering. * # * •»

The 6erious intention of a writer can also he frustrated bv the omission or the wrong placing of a simple little comma, or the absence of a full stop, which printers style a “full point.” Few of us, I expect, are sufficiently careful to punctuate our letters properly, although, if we give the matter thought, we must admit that by inaccurate punctuation or the absence of punctuation—a fault which ladies are particularly prone to perpetrate—the whole sense of our writing may be spoiled or rendered absurd.

In an Irish criminal trial tile fate of a prisoner named Mailman luing upon a question of punctuation. Accused of robbery, the principal evidence against him was an alleged confession by him. A constable who recorded his “confession” wrote: “Mangan said he never robbed, but twice said it was Crawford.” The constable read flic entry thus: “Mangan said be never robbed but twice. Said it was Crawford.” “Not so,” exclaimed Siangan’s counsel, after cogitation. “This is the fair and obvious construction —‘Mangan said lie never robbed, hut twice said it was Crawford.’ ” The jury accepted counsel’s explanation, and prisoner was acquitted.

Thirty odd years ago tho Bishop of Adelaide found what he believed was the body of a sea-serpent at Avoid Point, near Coffin Bay, Australia. ( A cable despatched to England ran: “Influenza extensively prevalent Wales Victoria numerous deaths Bishop Adelaide found dead Sea-serpent sixty feet Coffin Bay.” The news agen.cy which circulat- 1 cd the news read the last six words of the cable as a separate sentence, excluded it from its wires, and concluded: “Bishop Adelaide found dead.” 1 •# * *

A German schoolmaster visited a pompous burgomaster and asked him to inspect the school. Hearing the burgomaster mutter to himself, “What is this donkey here again for?” he determined to “get his own back,” so when the burgomaster went to the school the master told a class of his boys that ho wanted them to prove how well they had learned to punctuate. “Never mind punctuation,” exclaimed the burgomaster. **l care not for commas and such trifles.”. The master, insisting, asked a boy to write on the blackboard: “The burgomaster says, the master is a donkey.” The master then asked the boy to transpose the comma, placing it after “burgomaster,” and to insert another comma after “master.” The line, punctuated as the master intended it, thus read: “The burgomaster, says the master, is a donkey!” » * # *

In his “Nursery Rhymes” Halliwell gives this riddle, which correct punctuation renders clear: Every lady in this land Has twenty nails upon each hand Five and twenty on hands and feet. All this is true without deceit. “Unriddled,” the rhyme reads: Every laclv in this land Has twenty nails ; upon each hand Five, and twenty on hands and feet. All this is true’ without deceit. * * * * To a judge by whom he was being tried, a man said : “I stand here as a prisoner. Unfortunately you are my nidge,” whereupon he was promptly dealt with for contempt. What the man really meant to say was: “I stand here as a prisoner, unfortunately. You are my judge.” The misplaced “full point” made a world of difference in the meaning of the prisoner's “I am not as big a scoundrel as vour honour (a pause) takes me to he. ’ “Put yourp>senfences closer together,” remarked tfie bulge. # # * You, reader, will realise, therefore, (hat you cannot he too careful both in your speech and your writing.