OPEN-AIR FARCE

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXI, 30 October 1928, Page 2

OPEN-AIR FARCE

BEER AND POLITICS A THIRSTY CANDIDATE A NIGHT OUT AT PO.NSONBY "You get up here on this box, have a go at speaking, and see what a d ■ tool you are," was the advice given to a persistent interjector by Mr J. W. Hughes, described as Independent Labour candidate for Auckland West (says the "Star"). The meeting, .held outside the Leys Institute, was almost too funny to bo true. From first to last the candidate was subjected to a running lire of good-natured interjection, and no one seemed to mind when he paused for an occasional pull from a bottle of beer.

Mr Hughes opened up in face of opposition outside the Ponsonby Post Office, a few yards from the spot where the official Labour candidate (Mr M. J. Savage) was addressing a crowd. The Independent Labourite was advised by a police sergeant to move on to a more advantageous place further down the street. Mr Hughes moved, a crowd following him. Young men found him some boxes, which he moiinted, and; hanging his hat and raincoat on a nearby tree, Mr Hughes began to bellow his speech. "No one makes up my speeches," he told the audience. "Sir Joseph Ward writes speeches for the United coves, Gordon Coales writes speeches for Reform .candidates, and Holland makes them up for the Labour party. Mine's me own !" (Cheers). As he was only a working man, and had been put off a joTT that morning, he' was speaking "under a strain." He was "suffering a threat of being molested." Mr Hughes declared that he had some knowledge of Parliamentary procedure, as he had been a messenger in Parliament Buildings. "That's the nearest you'll ever be to Parliament," came a voice.

IN THE INTERESTS OF*THE STATfi

"I'm a staunch Labourite," declared Mr Hughes, "and I ask your support. I have brought up six children, defended the Empire in two wars, woi'ked on the trams and for tho City Council, earning my money by the sweat of my brow.'' (More cheers). "What has Mr Savage produced in the interests of the State?" asked Mr Hughes, amid uproar. A Voice : A lemon !

Mr Hughes: Mind you, I hold Mr Savage as-a man of the highest order. He has done eminent duties on the Charitable Aid Board and on the influenza. (Wild shouts of mirth). Mr Hughes said he had done far more for the unemployed than any Labour candidate. "Get out!" "Return me. and I'll stick to you through thick and thin," said Mr Hughes. "The Labour leader would pull this 'country and the Empire down' to shreds."

"Oil, shut up !" drawled a tired voice. "Come up to the front as a man!" invited the candidate, but no one stirred. "The working men of this country are not educated up to what I know!" "You are a bit of a Bolshie !" came from the;crowd. "Order there now, while Jack turns over his notes," said a young man. "You can't get your boys a-job," said Mr Hughes. "To-day you can't get them in anywhere—" A Voice: "Except gaol!

"A BIT DRY" "Thanks, I am a; bit .dry," said; the: candidate gratefully, as. lie accepted a bottle of beer from a man in the front of the crowd. • "I'll have one now," and he raised the bottle to his lips, amid delighted cries. ' , "I wish the mothers were here," said the candidate, apparently much refreshed. "I'm not only a ladies' man, I'm a family man, and I'm going to say I believe in a maternity bond to keep the cradles full." In "the ensuing uproar, the candidate had another pull at the bottle. "Don't make any mistake, Ifve got the women behind me," he continued. "You old sheik !" came from the darkness.

"If I couldn't beat a handful like you, I'd knock off," Mr' Hughes' told an 'interjector. "Don't think 1 I'm liere for a circus. There are any amount of silent voters here, and I'm going to get in'!"' (Shouts of glee). "Have you got your £10?" asl*?d someone.

"Don't you worry about that. I.'m going to the poll as sure as it's night tonight. If you workers don't vote, for me, you are not worth a shilling'a 'day.' You are a lot of fools !"

A Voice: There go a few votes. After telling an interjector that he was an awful nincompoop, Mr Hughes advised another interrupter to come to

the front, and not "get behind a shadow." Then the candidate finished off the beer, and an obliging hand reached out and relieved him of the bottle. Mr Hughes told his audience that it didn't matter whether they voted for him or against him, he would still be their friend. i

"Are you still going to vote for your self?"

"I'm not worth powder and shot/' began Mr Hughes. A Throaty Voice : Hear, hear, to that. "That is what some people; a.re". 'sa.fr ing, but there was a time when Mr Savage was not worth powder and shot. My turn is coming. ' IV anyone can prove I have a bad history before me, I will pull out! (Cheers). "Have another drink and get your back teeth under water !" was the advice of a young fellow hear the front, and then someone else drew from the candidate an emphatic, "Liar!" (Loud cries of "Order!")" About ten minutes after, nine, -Mr Hughes said he would close down for the night. The show ended with the explosion of a big Chinese cracker, and "He's a Jolly Good Fellow."

(The name of Mr Hughes does not appear in the.list of. nominations.)