TELEGRAM FUN

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXI, 5 April 1926, Page 2

TELEGRAM FUN

AMISIXO POST OFFICE ERRORS Many telegraph traffic managers are hoping thai the introduction of the machine system of telegraphy now being used no bolh side,; of Hie Atlantic will considerably reduce the number nf telegraphic errors. Seine of these mistakes have led tn comedy. according to a London weekly. A tailor in the city was surprised lo receive a message From a country customer reading: "Send me two cows with bells attached." •'What's the idea?" said the tailor. ■Does he think I have gone into the cattle business?" 'I he message as written mil read: "Snul me two coats with belts attai lied." _ Some operators do Iheir work mechanically, and do not trouble whether the lelegratn makes sense or not. ".SHAViNC THE QVF.EK" One case in America referred lo- a "ifi'i who had tumbled into trouble. with the local police. A newspaper wired to ascertain the nature of the charge. The reply came bad-: : "Shaving the queen." Nobody was aware of the presence of any royalty. On investigation, the reply as filed read : "Shoving the queer." .i well-understood term For passing counterfeit coin.

Anotlicr anmsing scene was that of an opLTal«rt- who dashed oil a telegram : "Ninety-nine is nol n luunliTd, come al once," which, after sevei.d repetitions had hft-ti ca'lh'fl fc/.-. turned oul In "Lulu is no! well; coinc at- once." This demon operator was eventually f-lood againsl n wall and shot, no: for makinc; Ihe I i-legrnphic Lull, hut i'nr hfiiiig on ihe wrong side in a Mexican I.l'VOlntioi). Endless trouble was caused hv the sending out of a telegram, '.iulia's Itaby arrived this .triorning. weighl V2S pounds." The teiegrnuu went ",n its way across country; and was the subject of endless queries at every office ii passed through. !i was discovered that 'Mnlin" was a prize cow. and the message simply arinouncefl the birth of a 'calf. -V ''o7)!-: COMEDY' fn the American Morse cede—thai jfi, the original cede- the word "thirlv" is synoymnus with ihe end of a mes .while Ihe signals for the ligures "7.3 ' mean "love" or "I,est regard*." A businesa man who was overloaded '■.l'ii some shares cf douhfl'iii vain, aimed Io dispose of them as soon as (he price reached ; , reasonable fi-nie. He noticed that the stock had climbed t„ ••66. ' hut was due for a sudden drop. He hurried In Ihe telegraph office smd wired his wife: "Sell slock I we." Ihe operator imagined thai the receiving operator al the other end would recognise the oft-used abbreviation, and rapped out: "Sell slock 73." The wife •A< i the message and waited all dav for the share to reach "7, 7 ;." Tlicv reached "67 and then dropped to the "20's." It needed quite, a lot of explanation when her husband reached home.