"CARROTS"

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LVI, 29 October 1925, Page 6

"CARROTS"

(To tdo Editor.)

Sir. — "Mr Atinnro proceeded to serve col carrots to tiie donkeys. ’ This is a eonmu'iit i remember when Mr At wore was a tneinlier of the l.ihertil l-'Jyitio-Squadron. 1 went to hear tlie dispenser of lids sureldent vegetable at Hampden Street tin* other evening, and interestedly watched the distribution of a bunch of this season's product. The audience appeared to be cheerful but hungry, and as the able provider selected each one from t'lie bunch. which consisted of eboufc eight' or nine, they were absorbed so rapidly as to make one wonder whether the residents of the locality afterwards suffered from indigestion. The first carrot dangled was. fusion. This the audience was informed was the product of sham lighting over a period of years between Liberals and Reformers. the lecturer claiming that it- Jiud been choked with weeds, and il was only by bis assiduous cultivation and tender care that 1m was able to present the first beautifully coloured specimen which research scientists had named "Atmorcarota." The next carrot to be devoured was the Bolshevik a product of Russia, and though popular there, in his opinion, ’was a. rank and vile weed, and could be. classed with the dock of our country. All the capitalists of the western world strongly condemned it, as an article of diet. Having said this the lecturer hurriedly selected another, but I noted that he did not say that the Bolshevik had been grown in a soil watered by the tears, broken hearts, and agony of millions of human beings who had previously lived under a system known as Czarism. 'The next. Karl Marx, bore a name that was world famous and was popular with the poorer people of many nations. This carrot was said to be very nutritious. lie could not, however, conscientiously recommend it to those with delicate stomachs, and to those people who lived on the labours of other people and did no work themselves lie feared it wduld prove injurious. The pre.se •.’.lso condemned ibis carrot, so did the capitalists and money lenders; .shipping combines would not have iL served up on the menu of their ships. Mr At more also condemned it. The freehold carrot was popular. He strongly recommended tiiis specimen, but it required careful cooking and the addition of an ingredient named hope had to be added to tin* water in which it was boiled. A wicked combination of people named the Labour Party condemned it, saying that the soil in which it grew required too much fisu manure such as land sharks, speculators, etc. 'The cost of this manure they contend is too expensive. Notwithstanding these assertions donkeys liked this carrot. Two sl'ender carrots named powtoliiee and morns school groundus were then carefully abstracted from the bunch; these 1 gathered to he particularly' valuable, inasmuch il seemed that only through and by having a highly' intelligent and absolutely independent representative in Parliament in close touch with the growers that there was any possibility of these being procurable mi the Nelson market. The next, rather a knotty looking specimen, we word informed was rather uripalatible, particularly to money lenders. The specimen shown was not a good one as i‘ bad been hawked abnut New Zealand for a couple of months and was consequently not so fresh as the demonstrator could wish. As far as lie knew it was only grown in one place (the BuJler) and by one man. As there was but thi' one specimen lie regretted he could not let them sample that. It had rather a long name, being called ‘Tntresometliinfeniotliin’’. lie did not like this carrot, himself, neither did his friends. One appetising-looking carrot with a white label around it was carefully laid on the table, and no reference, whatever was made to it, but while the lecturer was complacently listening to tho eulogy from one of the audience, emphasising Mr Atmore’s ability' of dealing out carrots, a friend of mine surreptitiously' inspected the vegetable and afterwards informed me that as the carrot wag round he could only read as far as "To Hell with.” .My friend also informed me that he was so curious on conserving the story of that particular carrot that he was going to attend the Brook Street meeting. lie also said there was no one more capable of treating with the subject of carrots than t'lie speaker of the evening. 1 am. etc "18-CARAT.