“LOVE AND MARRIAGE”

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LVI, 2 May 1925, Page 7

“LOVE AND MARRIAGE”

MISS HALLAM’S ADDRESS

“Love, Courtship and Marriage” was the title of an address delivered in tihe |Art Gallery Hall, Dunedin, by Mias lAlfaretta Hallarn before a particularly large audience, says the Star. Miss Hallam stated that a great many people had had no education in the choosing of a mate and the rearing of children, and they were experimenting in the matter of bringing up children. Some were making a better job of it than others. They had gone about the business of courtship and marriage blindly, and they had failed to assimilate that knowledge which would have steered them to the haven of bliss. As it was, so many found their way to the divorce courts, and they paid the penalty for their ignorance. Nature caused two people to fall in love and marry, and after two or three years they wakened to the realisation that they had not married the person they should have. As she had mixed and mingled in the world and studied human nature she had found that many sought the divorce courts, while others continued to live together in a state of antagonism. Love was an emotion, and the magnetism of love was felt rather than seen. The vibration of that magnetism extended from one person to another, and the vibration of their thoughts, conscious and subconscious, extended out from them. There were four laws of love, continued Miss Hallam, and they were the physical, mental, moral, and spiritual. Tlie physical side was the legitimate side, but it was only one of the laws. When a person tell in love he became mentally unbalanced for the time being. Love was a constructive emotion, and it was good if it were wisely directed. It was like all other emotions, and should be under the intelligent control of the individual. The mental side of love was th e basic aspect for choosing a mate. There should be a common understanding between the two parties, so when a young man thought he wanted a baby-faced doll he should question whether she could stand the test. And the young lady -who thought she wanted that- dapper young man whom she had been trying to catch should ask herself the same question. There was a common idea that marital happiness was unattainable. It was true that there i were many unions that did not end happily, but there were so many that were expressive of happiness and service to others. The husband and wife should

learn to appreciate ono another in all things to ensure marital happiness. The next angle was tho moral side. Morality had to do only with the sex side. She asked if a husband thought that because lie once told his wife ho loved her whether she knew that to be a fact after years of married life. She did not know it, and the man should tell her and not forget the little things lie price did for her. The same thing applied to women. They should take a pride in their appearance, and should not, as so man}' did, “settle down” because they were married. A great many parents failed to understand their Whil.L retj. A child had its individual rights, anad had to lead his own life in order to gain a sane growth. She was not saying that a child should be allowed to live in any old way, but it should be directed and not dictated to. So many people had taken the physical as the onlv sidq of love, and because of that many Jives and homes had been wrecked. When the young people were taught the law of the rnind and of tlie body then would they he able to choose judiciously and well.