Unlucky'" Motorist (having killed the lady's pet puppy)—". Madam, I will replace the animal." Indiguant Owner—"Sir, you ilatter yourself;" . Waiter—We do all our cooKiiig "by electricity here. Customer —Take this egp out and give it another shock. 'lnquisitive Dick (somewhere in France) —"Been out 'ere afore, mate?" The Alons 'Veteran—Once !—iWi' a Cooki's Tour. "'Casey is me peitickeler fraud, Oi'd have ye know." "G'wan! If he was pertickeler he wouldn't be yer frindi" /Mrs Miggs—l'll learn yer to tie a kettle to a cat's tail. The Kid—lt wasn't our cat. . Mrs Miggs—'No; but it was our kettle. "Of course a wife-beater has my most profound contempt," said skimpy little Mr Meek, "and I .would not in any circumstances associate' -with ooe longer than to ask him how in the world he managed to work it?" "Yes, 'Archibald) and I certainly possess similar tastes : •' exclaimed the adoring bride. "We are surely interested iv .the same things." "Yes,"' agreed Archibald's mother-in-law grimly, "you certainly are. You care more for dea>Archie than anyone else in the world and so does he !" OWN A SILENT HUPMOBILE. 'Silence is a big Hupmobile feature t—the motor is a perfect masterpiece, because of the exacting tests it undergoes in the making. For instance, pistons and crankshaft are balanced on knife edges for accurate weight. Every Hupmobile goes through 14 severe tests before leaving the factory—hence every part works in silent harmony. 'Comfort, "simplicity, speed, safety—these are other Hupmobile features which will another big point is that the Hupp "Value. • £440 with standard equipment, f-o-b. Christchurch, is the price of this fully equipped and beautiful ger car. Higher : priced cars offer you no better equipment or. another big point is that the Hup petrol consumption .is very low. Own a Hupp and enjoy safe, luxurious and j economical motoring. For free catalogue and further particulars ~ apply : W. G.. Vining, Ltd., N.Z. Farmers' Coop.. Assn., Ltd., Christchurch j distributors for South" Islands
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/NEM19170515.2.51.3
Bibliographic details
Nelson Evening Mail, 15 May 1917, Page 7
Word Count
323Page 7 Advertisements Column 3 Nelson Evening Mail, 15 May 1917, Page 7
Using This Item
Stuff Ltd is the copyright owner for the Nelson Evening Mail. You can reproduce in-copyright material from this newspaper for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 3.0 New Zealand licence. This newspaper is not available for commercial use without the consent of Stuff Ltd. For advice on reproduction of out-of-copyright material from this newspaper, please refer to the Copyright guide.