Page 3 Advertisements Column 4

Nelson Evening Mail, 31 July 1916, Page 3

A GOOD RAINCOAT SAVES A LOT OF TROUBLE. IT is indeed indispensable to r:/ every Jady during the winter V\ months. ' We have much pleasure in announcing a further shipment of Dependable Raincoats for* Ladies I Embracing alarga range o£ prices and attractive styles. Good Buying enables us to still offer these goods at prewar prices. '" And we advise you to make an © early inspection while choice is |«rat its best. You won't find values io equal ours—nor wiEB you find better qualities ! MILLINER AND DRESSMAKER TRAFALGAR ST„ NELSON

Customer : I'd like to see tho head barber. The Barber : We are all head barbers. ; what did you suppose we were —corn doctors?

Mother: Why don't you yawn when he stays too long'.' He'll take tho hint and go. Daughter : I. d.d, and he told me what beaui:fid teeth I had.

Mistress: Dinah, I haven't seen your husband about for some time. Is he ill? Dinah: Xn, indeed. Missus, taint dat: he's jest- simply too proud to work.

Wild-eyed- Aides-de-Camp : "General, tho enemy is outside!". General fjust graduated from the ranks of business) petulantly: "Tell him I'aru busy. Ask him what, he wants'."

"It takes two to make a quarrel." 'Yes and very often, it takes a jury o settle it."

"This is an extremely difficult case to deal with," stated Inspector Hendrey in he Wellington Magistrate's Court yesterday morning, says the Post, when dary Saunders, aged about £0 years, stepped into the dock to answer a charge if being an incorrigible rogue with inurficient lawful means of support. The defendant, who was feeble in the exrenie. was. according- to the Inspector, friendless an-d refused absolutely to renain in tin- Ohiro and .Salvation. Annv Homes. She was a- mass of rags and dirt and was totally unable to look aft°r •erself. The Magistrate (Mr L. ■-.

Keid, S.M.) decided that the "best course vould be to send the defendant to gaol for one month

That the Jutland naval battle is regarded in - Engla.-ul as a brilliant triimph for the Grand Fleet is made quite dear in a letter received by the Wellington Branch of the Navy League from the headquarters of the League in London-, says the Post. The letter states, •iter alia, that Admiral Jeilicoe's mesage makes the following points perfectly lear: —(1) That the action was fo'ight •vith all tho qualities of skill, courage, uid sacrifice, of the glorious traditions >f the 'British Navy ; (2) that if weather ■onditious had been favourable the German fleet would have been completely destroyed ; (3) that the losses of the have been greater, in spite of the rdvantages in favour of Germany in the beffinning of the action, than the losses suffered by our ships; (4) that no mistake in strategy of any kind occurred, ind that Admiral B-eatty's gallant attack was conceived and carried out in a namier which is beyond all praise. Two ispects of the result of the engagement, ivill, the writer is sure, fill the breasts if all overseas peoples with pleasure, namely, that the determination of the Fleet to ultimately achieve the destruction of German naval power is .stronger :han ever before, and that the spirit >f the people of Great Britain has been stirred to higher effort in the prosecution of the war.

One who has braved the battle on the Western front (and) who is at present n Wellington) pays a very high tribute o the bravery and wonderful spirit of humour that is shown by the British "Tommy" under the most- tragic cir•umstances. To Continental people the British aro considered stodgy and a tritle lour, but this war has brought out the ■singular fact that the Britisher has the 'iveliest sense of humour of any of the lations engaged ini the war. He loathes my thing in the nature of morbidity, and ivoids, dwelling on the tragic side .-,£ things. And. strange to say, said the Dominion's informant, it was always a-hen things looked blackest that the riumotir of "Tommy" was at its best. Ho relates a story—which he vouches to be true —where a "Tommy" who had been captured said to his captor: "Well, old pal, I'm nabbed, but the British -Hd give you blokes 'ell yesterday." The German soldier (who understood English) resolved to test the loyalty of the prisoner, by ordering him either to be shot or swear allegiance to the Kaiser. The "Tommy" at- once decided that it was best to* "take on the Kaiser." After having done so, he. said: "Well, wot am I now, that's wot I'd like to know?" "Oh, you're a German now !" said the officer.' "Ho, is that so," replied Tommv. Then with a glint of humour in his'eye, added: "Say, the British did give us" Germans 'ell yesterday, didn't they?"

YOUR FAMILY ROUND TITE PIANO If your family never knows that best of all -pleasures—an evening of music with family and friends—you should lose no time in getting a really good piano The cost of a first-class instrument need not inconvenience you. Take advantage of the Bristol Piano Company's liberal •time-payment plan, and you can enjoy an excellent piano at homo while paying for it. And what a superb- instrument you can. obtain by selecting at The Bristol. This well-known firm, holds extensive stocks of The Broadwood, The Sanies, and other English pianos of world-wide -prestige. In organs, New Zealand's premier Music Warehouse specialises in the two leading Canadian, makes—The Bell and The Imperial. As all these- instruments ensure life long satisfaction:, one can purchase "with confidence at The Bristol. The Bristol Piano Coy., Ltd., Wellington. M. J. Brookes, North Island; Manager. Local representatives : Jackson and Co., Ltd., Stationers, TJha*Mlg«r street.